diabetes making me down!!

[jackwednesday]

Hi, have been type 1 since 17 (1997), first few years went ok, no real problems. Seemed to keep sugars ok and stuff went fine. Since I hit the 5 year mark I have been really struggling, I kinda feel like I am black and ruined inside and I can't get it out of me. Like having an awful internal tattoo I hate and cant get rid of.

Things over the last year have got worse, I am really low and think a lot about ending it all and escaping from the clostraphobia of diabetes, am on anti depressants and see my doc and diabetes team a lot but the NHS where I am (Tunbridge Wells) don't have any kind of place to meet other diabetics and chat etc.

Anyway sorry to leave such a "downer" message, i hope it does not make anyone feel blue as what I really want is to firstly know if other diabetics feel this way and how they combat it or beat it? I excercise, don't drink, don't do drugs etc, live clean and try and be positive but nothing seems to work.

Am I just a miserable b*$tard?!!

Thanks, Jack x

 

[Debloubed]

Hi Jack, this forum is the perfect place to meet other Type 1's and chat, so that's a step in the right direction without even trying having diabetes can be tough and can get your down at times so I'm glad to hear you are speaking to your Doc and getting help that way. With regards to how your control has changed however, this can happen and I have found that the worst thing about that is it makes me feel out of control completely! So, what I try to do is stay massively in control at all times, so I can nip any changes in the bud as soon as they happen, which means testing several times a day and keeping extensive notes to refer back to and to take to your clinic appts - those notes can really help spot little things you might not otherwise think of there are meters available where you can set up spreadsheets and really analyse your BG numbers! Speak to your Doc, you should be able to get the meter on prescription or if not, from a rep, I'll PM you the details.........remind me 8)

Chin up!

Deb x

 

[copepod]

What helped me more than anything when I was diagnosed about 14 years ago, as a 30 year old, was setting myself targets. Nothing to do with blood glucose levels, but things like get to South America, get above 4000m, compete in a mountain marathon, get to a sub Antarctic island, re-start orienteering, start adventure racing (which wasn't really around before I was dignosed), have a cat, grow veggies in a garden etc. Not sure if that's the sort of thing you want to hear, but you must have some dreams you'd like to fulfill?

 

[Synonym]

Hi Jack

Sorry to hear things aren’t too good for you.

I'm just a lowly and very new T2 but I'm cheering you on from the sidelines!

 

[hanadr]

I'm sorry you feel down.
It's difficult, especially when young, to live with feeling "Different". I'm not sure if meeting other diabetics would be the answer, but Contact "Diabetes UK" and find your nearest young people's group. They exist all over the place. And you are very handy for South of London. I know there's a VERY active group in Croydon, but don't remember the contact.
Hana

 

[Fujifilm]

Hi Jack

Yes you are a just a miserable b*$tard?!! :lol: :lol:

But welcome to the club.

I think with most of us diabetes gets us down on occasions you just got to rise above it and as they say its good to talk, plenty of peeps on here will help get you through it.

By the way its not the diabetes that makes me a miserable b*$tard?!! my wife says I am like it all the time. :mrgreen:

 

[Angeldust]

Hi Jack
just wondering what insulin you are on?

 

[totsy]

hya jack,
hope you are feeling a bit better and are having a great christmas

 

[jackwednesday]

Hi,

am feeling a bit better and very surprised by replies etc!! I have never been on a forum and found the positive response really helpful.

To answer a few of the questions I am on NOVA RAPID. My doc has increased my anti-depressants to 20 mgs a day. I am quite anti pills but was feeling so down a few weeks back I really didn't know if I was going to make it to Christmas.

I have a fantastic family network and lots of friends but as I said before I just feel like I am 'broke' and would be such a 'better' if I did not have this condition. I have a few other issues, I am asthmatic and have not drunk alcohol since 2003 because I started to realise I was developing a problem with alcohol. All of this together have put and do put a lot of pressure on me. I am (believe it or not) a very positive person, I try my best to keep fit (I work as a personal trainer!!), try and always have a goal. Keep busy and always look to the bright side. It has just been these last few years that the blue bug has got me. I am still young (30) and only been type 1 since 97.

Since all your responses I am doing my best to get a diabetic group together meeting in the Tunbridge wells area. Anyone interested let me know? I find getting together with others the best way to fight this condition.

Thanks again for all your advice, lovely comments and general goodness,

Jack xx

 

[ham79]

well done mate I'm 30 and only been type 1 for 4 months the blue bug is a nightmare but this forum provides so much hope and advice bet you never thought you would be inspiring someone to crawl out of a very dark place. Well you have and for that I thank you merry Christmas and all the best for 2010