Don't make me angry... You won't like me when I get angry (or how to not hulk out)

Belzedar

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I did check to see if there was a current thread on sudden episodes of anger/rage/panic/anxiety - whatever. But there doesn't seem to be.

For whatever reason, I have a hair-trigger temper. Before I was diagnosed six years ago, I knew I could be hot-tempered but losing my temper happened only a couple of times a year. Since then, anything can anger me and that will immediately escalate. Generally, I manage that by avoiding people. (Don't get side-tracked by that, I really do prefer solitude and it's always been that way. There are people who have a fulfilled life with three or four friends capable of stimulating conversation. We're known as introverts.)

Yesterday, I was embroiled in a situation that I could not have been prepared for. Sitting alone on a station platform, the nearest person more than 50ft away and on the opposite platform, I could not anticipate becoming the subject of ridicule of the crowd of strangers over there. Who would?

Yet, there I was, sitting on a sunny seat waiting for the train I've taken over two hundred times in the past year, a train I knew would arrive at the opposite platform at 13:42 and was more than ten minutes away. I was aware of the shouting and whistling from behind me and ignored it but it was clearly aimed at me so I turned round and the station guard was shouting at me about being on the wrong platform. I said I knew that and I was just sitting in the sun. This against a background of catcalls of "Should we all go over there to catch the train that's coming in on THIS platform?" and more whistling.

He walked off the platform and I crossed the footbridge to have words with him. I pointed out that whatever his need for drama, I did not appreciate being conscripted into his lunchtime theatre and being publicly ridiculed. I made the point that since he knew I made that trip every other day, and we'd last spoken just two days ago, he couldn't possibly defend his position that it was his job to let me know I was on the wrong platform. He ordered me to stop shouting and I shut that down by pointing out his shouting at me was the topic under discussion.

Anyway, enough of the venting. My problem is that when something triggers my anger, I can no longer rein it in. It just escalates and it lasts for hours. Now I know that people who know about these things refer to CBT but I think that doesn't really help if the rage is caused by a chemical imbalance that are the result of out of range glucose levels.

So there's no point in me telling myself that this was an innocent mistake and that the guy had failed to recognise me because I was sitting with my back to him - because I'm still livid about him exposing me to public ridicule. He could have just walked away when he saw my face and I shouted back that I knew all about the train and I was just sunning myself.
 

JoKalsbeek

Expert
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5,937
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I reversed my Type 2
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Cbd oil makes me less prone to panic attacks and anxiety... I can get irate, but it hasn't happened often since I started taking it two years ago, now that I think of it. Little more chill than I used to be. Bloodsugars (way up) do impact my mood adversely.
 
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Metabolism_Boss

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Hello,
Anger problems and diabetes has been discussed on the "Temper Tantrums" thread. I think in this case though your reaction may have been more "territorial". I am also fairly introverted and getting in my face as these people did to you would make me very angry too. This was not exactly a polite "hello, do you know that you are on the wrong platform if you want the train that is due?" was it? It seems these days people just say whatever comes into their heads
 

Jenny15

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I feel huge empathy for you. This was a childish act of bullying and really, that guard and any fellow employees could be disciplined for treating a customer in this way.

I think the way you handled it was very good. I would have walked away and pretended to ignore them, then probably burst into tears in a toilet cubicle somewhere. Or maybe gone to make a formal complaint, only to have it backfire on me with worse bullying from the company, and also the bullies forever after. (Actually I wouldn't have done that because I know that's what usually results from it.)

One tip I've used occasionally is to pretend I have an incoming mobile phone call and chat away, covering my other ear as if I'm straining to hear the phone. It sucks the wind right out of their sails because suddenly you are unreachable. They then find someone else to bully.

Once, when a man driving an SUV became road-enraged at me without cause, he then had the nerve to get out of his vehicle when stopped at the lights, walk around to my driver's door and bang on my window, yelling at me. Which is probably illegal, if a cop happens to be around at the time. I pretended to call 111 (which is like calling 999, but in NZ) and boy did he do a disappearing act. What an emotional child. With grey hair. I was shaken up afterwards but at least I wasn't assaulted. I now try to leave an escape route when I stop at lights, and I always lock my doors once I'm in the car. It reduces my understandable anxiety. Another thing you can do if hassled in your car is use the horns, hazard lights and headlights repeatedly.

When it comes to diabetically enraged introverts, you and I sound like two peas in a pod. I find it a relief to know this is in large part a biochemical issue. I wrote this thread about it the other day:

"I have spent the last two years getting more and more irritable - with myself, those around me, inanimate objects, and the world in general.

Now that I know a certain proportion of the public likely has increased irritability caused by diabetes (or other conditions) I can cut people a bit more slack. Instantly, I found I can tolerate people more. Amazing."

https://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/th...t-about-depression-and-diabetes-today.149350/
 

Belzedar

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Messages
62
Type of diabetes
Type 2
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Insulin
Thanks, everyone, for those kind words. While such incidents are mundane things for most people, they are deeply upsetting for me and I don't have a very supportive family. My mother is concerned that any public displays by me will reflect on her and has her own anxiety issues that often leads to explosive arguments between us.

When I tried to explain that to my brother so that he could explain it to her, he rejected what I'd said because his friend, recently diagnosed with diabetes, had said nothing about stuff like that.
 

Jenny15

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Thanks, everyone, for those kind words. While such incidents are mundane things for most people, they are deeply upsetting for me and I don't have a very supportive family. My mother is concerned that any public displays by me will reflect on her and has her own anxiety issues that often leads to explosive arguments between us.

When I tried to explain that to my brother so that he could explain it to her, he rejected what I'd said because his friend, recently diagnosed with diabetes, had said nothing about stuff like that.
That was unhelpful of him. He made the mistake of "generalising from the particular," which is a term to describe a "logic fail." It drives me bonkers when people do that.

I can relate a bit since I have similar family issues. That's one reason I find it so helpful to use forums like this, to vent, ask questions, learn new info and hopefully share one or two things along the way that others may find of value. It's like having access to a group of people with similar issues, that you could never find offline, I believe.
 

therower

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If my sugars are high I can be an absolute cow to all around me.
With luck that jobsworth will leave you alone in future.
Wow!!!!!! I think I'm going to check my wife's sugar levels. :):):)
 

rab5

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I think that if you know you are trigger happy. You should find ways or strategies to sort it out. If it is the diabetes and or high BG. That’s good info but not an excuse

That’s what I think
 

therower

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Out of range blood sugars and short temper/ anger.
You need to be aware that low blood sugar can be the reason for a loss of rational thought let alone control of temper.
Many insulin dependent diabetics will testify to becoming unbelievably volatile,aggressive and dangerous whilst suffering with low blood sugars ( hypoglycaemia). It's not an excuse it's fact. Some of the most placid people on insulin can become absolute monsters with low BS levels.
As for the OP, well I'm not prepared to offer advice where type2 is concerned as I'm not a type 2. It would, however seem possible that the daily requirements of controlling diabetes could quite easily make a persons patience and understanding wear thin.
 

rab5

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Out of range blood sugars and short temper/ anger.
You need to be aware that low blood sugar can be the reason for a loss of rational thought let alone control of temper.
Many insulin dependent diabetics will testify to becoming unbelievably volatile,aggressive and dangerous whilst suffering with low blood sugars ( hypoglycaemia). It's not an excuse it's fact. Some of the most placid people on insulin can become absolute monsters with low BS levels.
As for the OP, well I'm not prepared to offer advice where type2 is concerned as I'm not a type 2. It would, however seem possible that the daily requirements of controlling diabetes could quite easily make a persons patience and understanding wear thin.

I probably agree with most of what you say. But I still stand by my comment having that knowledge one could find ways of overcoming the hair trigger temper. In the long run it could be safer for both the OP and others.
 

therower

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I probably agree with most of what you say. But I still stand by my comment having that knowledge one could find ways of overcoming the hair trigger temper. In the long run it could be safer for both the OP and others.
Unless you have been in a hypoglycaemic state you will never understand. Me, I'm probably one of the most placid people you could wish to meet. Calm, unruffled and level headed. Hypo times in years gone by have resulted in me having to walk out of my house for fear of attacking my wife whilst being hypo. Standing by your comments I can accept, but your lack of any knowledge regarding hypoglycaemia and temper is the flaw in what you believe.
 
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Grumpy ole thing

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discovering you cant actually turn the stairs round, or move the roof...
...reads through the posts and looks for an OMG, WHAT PLANET ARE WE ON NOW? icon..how dare anyone shout at you? And from how far away?? Why is that acceptable?...you were right to shout back (Imho,), people seem to think customer service is more about beating people into submission rather than listening to them and decentring enough to understand everyone is different, not daft, different....good for you, I too hate being shouted and made to feel embarrassed....I don't know how to end this now, I'm furious with him for you. I hope you feel better before the weekend is lost x
 

Jenny15

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I think that if you know you are trigger happy. You should find ways or strategies to sort it out. If it is the diabetes and or high BG. That’s good info but not an excuse

That’s what I think
I for one am not completely convinced that this form of mood disorder disappears once BGs come under control. The mind is complex and psychologists and doctors don't fully understand it. I didn't read the OP as using it as an excuse, I think he is doing his best.
 
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rab5

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Unless you have been in a hypoglycaemic state you will never understand. Me, I'm probably one of the most placid people you could wish to meet. Calm, unruffled and level headed. Hypo times in years gone by have resulted in me having to walk out of my house for fear of attacking my wife whilst being hypo. Standing by your comments I can accept, but your lack of any knowledge regarding hypoglycaemia and temper is the flaw in what you believe.
I think you prove my point. You felt you where going to attack your wife. Your strategy was to remove yourself from the situation until you calmed down. Maybe gave yourself time to think. You dont know what experience I have with being hypo or dealing with a bad uncontrolled violent person with a temper.

But this is only my opinion on a diabetes forum. Lets get real here.
 

rab5

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I for one am not completely convinced that this form of mood disorder disappears once BGs come under control. The mind is complex and psychologists and doctors don't fully understand it. I didn't read the OP as using it as an excuse, I think he is doing his best.
The best thing he can do is find a way to get his "Mood Disorder" as you call it under some semblance of control. He will be happier for it
 

Jenny15

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The best thing he can do is find a way to get his "Mood Disorder" as you call it under some semblance of control. He will be happier for it
Just curious, why do you put mood disorder in quotes? You may want to read the thread I started this week about the topic, that I linked in a post above. Do you not think he has tried to get his mood disorder under control?

There are many terms for the kinds of psychological issues that have been linked to diabetes in research. Mood disorder is sort of a shorthand term for many of them, which each have their own attributes.
 

therower

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I think you prove my point. You felt you where going to attack your wife. Your strategy was to remove yourself from the situation until you calmed down. Maybe gave yourself time to think. You dont know what experience I have with being hypo or dealing with a bad uncontrolled violent person with a temper.

But this is only my opinion on a diabetes forum. Lets get real here.
Your recent posts seem to suggest that you have gained control of your diabetes through a dietary regime and no medication.
Apologies if I'm mistaken. I do inject insulin, I have had hypos and I know full well that unless you inject insulin as a T1 diabetic with all that entails you have no knowledge or concept of what I am talking about.
You want to get real? Real is we are totally different. My condition is totally different to yours. Real is you will never understand my condition unless you have it.