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Explaining your condition to others

Discussion in 'Ask A Question' started by MB1995, Apr 25, 2022.

  1. MB1995

    MB1995 · Newbie

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    Hi everyone, I’m new to this chat. I am a 26 year old female with type 1. My question is, have any of you guys been accused of not doing a good job of managing your condition by loved ones, even when you are doing everything you can? I had a low blood sugar episode yesterday morning and immediately my bf started complaining about how I suck at having diabetes and that I need to work harder. Granted, it was a bad low… he had to give me pop etc before I was coherent but the thing is… my insulin sensitivity just changes very rapidly and not for a particular cause. Before going to bed I checked my blood sugar and it was high as in 313. So knowing that I took my night insulin but also two units of my fast insulin to help correct. By the time I went to bed it was not by any means immediately after eating which was strange why it was so high to begin with. Generally speaking, I feel like I was being cheap with just two units. If one unit could potentially bring your levels down by 50 when you have high blood sugar, then two units would only bring it down by 100. So that would be 213 and then with the night insulin helping correct. Somehow I still ended up with a dangerous low and when I tried to explain that for some reason my sensitivity changed, he refused to accept it and just started berating me. In his mind, having good control means never having a low. But after reading some of everyone’s post who have had type one longer then me (I was diagnosed at 20) and are more experienced, I’m guessing this happens to people even if they do all the textbook things. I honestly thought that I was just doing everything wrong when I have a low and he consistently blames me… mind you, this does not happen often by any means. How should I better explain this to him? Has this happened to anyone else?
     
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  2. EllieM

    EllieM Type 1 · Moderator
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    Hi @MB1995 and welcome to the forums.

    T1 for 52 years here and sometimes hypos just happen. (There are so many things that affect insulin sensitivity that you just can't get it right all the time.)

    I am very very lucky that my husband/partner has always supported me in my diabetes and rescued me on the rare occasions that I need rescuing. He has never criticised me for hypoing. (And I've had some epic ones,particularly when pregnant with our now adult children.)

    Do you have a cgm? (dexcom or libre?) My hypo awareness isn't as good as it used to be when I was younger and having an alarm when I get to 4.4 (level can be adjusted) means that I greatly reduce the chances of severe hypos.

    It sounds to me that you are doing everything right and your partner is less than helpful. (Maybe he should try being T1 for a while and see how he does.)

    And you will sometimes make mistakes (oh the joys of injecting bolus instead of basal) but we are all human and that is no reason for criticism.

    Lots and lots of virtual hugs.
     
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  3. In Response

    In Response Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I found my partner started to understand when I got him to calculate my insulin doses.
    He would do some carb counting and then be surprised when my diabetes didn't behave as he expected.
    He then learned that doing the full time job of a major organ in our body (which most bodies do automatically) whilst carrying on with a full life is tough.
     
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  4. Antje77

    Antje77 LADA · Moderator
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    That's just wrong!
    Managing diabetes is not easy, and diabetes doesn't always behave predictable. All T1's have hypo's.

    I like @In Response 's approach, that would clearly show him it isn't as simple as doing the math right and then having perfect numbers all the time.
     
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  5. Jaylee

    Jaylee Type 1 · Moderator
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    Hi,

    My wife just sees it as "one of those things."
    I'm pretty passive while low but can talk esoteric garbage.. lol. I once found myself out of the blue during cordial pleasantaries chatting about Norwegian death metal to my wife's boss at a work thing.. Before I made my excuses to fix the low.. not my specialist subject.
    How did I do? Yah did well..

    I feel your chap needs to losen up? :)
     
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  6. Geordie_P

    Geordie_P Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    This is really very smart- beneficial to both of you: there's no better way to understand something than to actually do it and live it. It might even be useful in the original poster's case.
     
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  7. Juicyj

    Juicyj Type 1 · Expert
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    Wow that's not on at all, he needs to reign it in, particularly when you are low and your brain is already depleted of glucose, I wouldn't cope with this mentality, you need support as you already have enough on your hands to deal with.

    Hypos happen, they are mostly unpredictable, and we only get an alarm when going low, but the sooner you can catch it, the quicker you can treat it.

    Hope he starts to learn some empathy soon, and yes try walking in your shoes for one day, he would soon learn.
     
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  8. Soplewis12

    Soplewis12 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I've been type 1 for 32 years now & with my husband 30 years in total. In all that time I've had 3 major hypos that I've needed support with. The last one pre libre 2 & pump my son was very distressed & my husband was furious, insisted I apologised to my son. Not on at all as the guilt he made me feel for something out with my control was terrible. In hindsight I think he got the biggest fright of all of us but it didn't excuse his reaction.
    I love @In Response suggestion!
     
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  9. JohnEGreen

    JohnEGreen Other · Master

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    You know divorce is still a possibility even after 30 years.
     
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  10. Zhnyaka

    Zhnyaka Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Ask him "are you thinking I'll feel better if you scold me?" It is really difficult. I'm 26 too and I have T1 for 18 years. Sometimes the glucose level in my blood changes from 3 (55) to 20 (360) during the day and it's terrible. Say your boyfriend that you need his love, not his reproaches
     
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    #10 Zhnyaka, Apr 25, 2022 at 5:35 PM
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2022
  11. JAT1

    JAT1 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Having Type 1 is hard enough as it is, but dealing with the likes of your bf is worse.
     
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  12. In Response

    In Response Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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  13. Lamont D

    Lamont D Reactive hypoglycemia · Master

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    I just wonder what he's like, when he has man flu?

    Ignorance is not an excuse!
     
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  14. Fenn

    Fenn Type 1.5 · Well-Known Member

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    Oh this makes me angry, you are doing amazing MB!
     
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  15. Soplewis12

    Soplewis12 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I could have been easily persuaded at the time, lol
     
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