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Extreme depression/burnout

Discussion in 'Eating disorders and diabetes' started by CosmicOwl, Sep 4, 2021.

  1. CosmicOwl

    CosmicOwl Type 1 · Member

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    Hi

    I am really struggling at the moment. I have been trying to communicate my concerns with my doctors for so long I’ve lost all hope or fight to look after myself at all. I really struggle with MDI due to complex mental health issues and I know a pump would take away some of that struggle (easier to radically accept amongst other things) but my drs and diabetic nurses are treating me like I’m stomping my feet and being stubborn despite me giving a reasonable, rational argument.

    The diabetic nurse in particular says I am capable of making the decision to not do the injections and she can’t convince me to do them so there’s nothing she can do, so they discharged me. I keep trying to stress that an insulin pump would change my quality of life, it’s been a 10 year struggle where my voice isn’t being heard at all. They even said they don’t want to be responsible for me, and ignore when I say doing MDI makes me feel suicidal.

    I haven’t left my bed other than to use the bathroom since May, I really feel like giving up, my eyes are definitely getting worse, I try and do my injections but they trigger my ptsd and I struggle to do the repeated action of giving it due to my adhd and then of course the diabulimia doesn’t help. I’ve sought out therapy and been in therapy for 12 years, but I keep hitting a wall with the drs. I’m exhausted mentally, entirely burnt out and am done with repeating myself. I wish I could just do the injections but I really can’t stick it out without burning out.

    Has anyone been in a similar boat? I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’m just being left to die with no concern of my mental or physical health.

    Thanks
     
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  2. ert

    ert Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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  3. Pipp

    Pipp Type 2 · Expert
    Retired Moderator

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    Can’t identify with your situation, @CosmicOwl but have known despair.
    Hope you can get the support you need, and I am sure other members , with greater understanding of your issues, will offer appropriate responses.
     
    • Hug Hug x 2
  4. CosmicOwl

    CosmicOwl Type 1 · Member

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    Thank you.
    I have talked myself until blue in the face with so many GPs, even outlining the pump criteria, they just refer me on to the endocrinologist that says they don’t want sole responsibility for me, they keep saying a pump is so dangerous but I don’t get how when I’m not doing my MDI now, not even my long acting :( I just take some to keep myself out of hospital when necessary. I feel like I’m being so unreasonable half the time and they tell me I’m being pessimistic, if I was truly pessimistic I wouldn’t be asking for help from multiple points…definitely don’t enjoy living like this and I’m terrified about the long term damage I’m doing :( I really am trying my best. I start my second year of uni soon too and I’m worried of the impact.
     
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  5. ert

    ert Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    It is really tough to hear but if that is the case that the GP's have decided a pump is too dangerous at present, you will have to accept MDI as the safer option in the short term. You should ask your GP what needs to change and what support you can be offered so you can become well enough and out of danger so you qualify for a pump. Please reach out and get the support you need and deserve.
     
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  6. CosmicOwl

    CosmicOwl Type 1 · Member

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    I am in 3 different therapies currently and have been getting help for over a decade, so I have never stopped asking for support. This is where it gets confusing though, they only say a pump is dangerous as I can omit insulin, and not get any background, however I am currently omitting insulin due to the MDI not being accessible for me, so they are ignoring that me being on MDI is dangerous as I am not taking my insulin often at all, and in fact just say oh well that’s your choice then without hearing me say I am unable to do the MDI due to the complex mental health conditions, it triggers my PTSD for starters, so that adds additional danger, it just keeps going round in circles with them choosing to ignore what I’m saying when it comes to the MDI, every time I try to keep it in range, I end up feeling suicidal needing to stab myself with insulin 4 times a day.
     
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  7. ert

    ert Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I understand what you are saying. And that you feel no expert is listening. They need to still give you steps and changes you need to be able to complete so you qualify for a pump.
     
  8. CosmicOwl

    CosmicOwl Type 1 · Member

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    The steps and changes they’ve said would be to do my MDI and get my A1c to a good level and then if I can do that consistently they’d maybe consider a pump, but each time I’ve done that (like 2 years of control where my A1c was 5.4) they’ve said oh you’re doing so well on the MDI you don’t need a pump now, which of course after all the trauma of the MDI and the effort it takes me to do the injections, is not really great and I burn out. The impact it has on my mental health is just as serious. I do quality for a pump based on NICE criteria, maybe I should ask somewhere for a second opinion? I feel baited all the time :/
     
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  9. ert

    ert Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    You certainly qualify - even when your Hba1c is good, based on your ongoing struggle with injections. It must be time to get another opinion.
     
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