Food and drink choices

1st offer of OJ, alcohol or mince pie.

No thank you!


2nd offer of OJ, alcohol or mince pie.

Please GO AWAY!!! ( or something along those lines)

When everything calms down, just say " wow I must have been hypo"

therower said:

1st offer of OJ, alcohol or mince pie.

No thank you!


2nd offer of OJ, alcohol or mince pie.

Please GO AWAY!!! ( or something along those lines)

When everything calms down, just say " wow I must have been hypo"

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Like your style!

Diakat said:

I do not want to be blamed for never letting her see grandchild...

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Tell her no thanks, you want to be able to see "your" grandchildren.

MIL's are a pita.

bulkbiker said:

Don't go?

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Yes, don’t go

Hope you don't mean ALL mils @Tipetoo cause I am 1x3 and I am not pain anywhere (I don't think)

I used to have the same problem when going to my sisters for sunday lunch etc. she is a natural 'feeder' and piles plates high, insists on desserts and alcohol so we stopped going until she finally understood me, I now drive so she won't serve me alcohol, take some cheese for my dessert and just don't eat the carbs on my plate (even though she still puts them on!) stay firm and polite, it's their problem if they don't understand, how would she feel if you were taken ill from too much sugar?? awful, I bet

Diakat said:

Hi all,

I need some witty but non offensive responses for Christmas time pressure. In the past I have ended up screaming at people and I want go avoid it this year.

We are spending Xmas with my MIL, a type 2 who has a casual approach to diet. I do not low carb, but do like to choose where my carbs come from e.g. will not drink orange juice unless I'm hypo...

So, every year I am hassled to drink orange juice at breakfast, wine at lunch (don't drink alcohol either) and to eat mince pies (eugh). When I simply say no thank you this is not accepted as am answer. She has known me for 15 years and I am sick of it. Help me shut this down please...

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“ oh no that could / do you want to /kill me “ or “ oh no that causes cancer “ or else just say to her “ could you for once ****** listen NO “ I know what one I would use with a tad more relish though. When she gets her fright eg amputation of some appendage ( and this will happen ) take her up a nice fruit cake or my favourite iced gingerbread, and as Mrs Doyle would say “ go on, go on, go on “ ref Father Ted.

carty said:

Hope you don't mean ALL mils @Tipetoo cause I am 1x3 and I am not pain anywhere (I don't think)

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My partners MIL was an absolute ratbag, and crazy as a two bob watch. Her mother was not a great deal better either.

Thankfully they both lived in the UK, and we never had to make an effort with them.

Snapsy said:

Mr S was in trouble with his mum recently when we went out for a cuppa at a cafe and he had a very posh decadent dripping-with-syrup homemade flapjack - she was upset that he wasn't sharing it with me. Apparently it was 'fine' because 'it's got oats in'.

Aside from the fact that it would have been well nigh impossible to do any approximation of carb counting with it, I really wasn't hungry and wouldn't have wanted it even if I weren't diabetic! Was a little disheartened that my choice of 'no thank you' was not respected as a valid answer.

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This is a deliberate attempt to dominate you both by forcing you to do something you don't want to. She knows you don't want to and she is trying to exert power over you. She is also deliberately picking on your partner as well to try and gain extra leverage by making you feel bad because he is in trouble. In trouble because of you and your unreasonable behaviour.

As a failed amateur psychologist of no training or ability I would tie it into the fact she feels that she can bully her son. If her son told her to pack it in and stop being offensive then this would not happen. She is used to successfully bullying him and sees you as just another victim.

@Diakat this also applies to you. A good host or hostess takes note of the needs of a guest, especially a close family member. Any attempt to force you to do things against your will is playing dominance games. It may well not be deliberately malicious, more likely just a learned response over many years, but it is still the sign of a successful bully. It is the responsibility of your partner to put you first above his mother and step up to the mark and protect you.

bulkbiker said:

Don't go?

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Absolutely, well said, don't go...simple as that problem solved and if she asks, be like the Australians, call a spade a spade and tell her upfront the reason why.............that may allow you to go if invited the next year she will have got the message and will let you do your own thing.

mallorca

Diakat said:

Hi all,

I need some witty but non offensive responses for Christmas time pressure. In the past I have ended up screaming at people and I want go avoid it this year.

We are spending Xmas with my MIL, a type 2 who has a casual approach to diet. I do not low carb, but do like to choose where my carbs come from e.g. will not drink orange juice unless I'm hypo...

So, every year I am hassled to drink orange juice at breakfast, wine at lunch (don't drink alcohol either) and to eat mince pies (eugh). When I simply say no thank you this is not accepted as am answer. She has known me for 15 years and I am sick of it. Help me shut this down please...

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I might have missed it, but I was wondering how you got on with your Christmas and your MIL, @Diakat? Did you cook a meal (your type of meal), or make goodies to take? I hope you weren't subjected to pressure and that you had a good Christmas, but if so I also hope a 'no' did the trick. I'm interested, as I was expecting similar pressure but was very lucky that the rellies had done their best to understand what's good and what's not. The large dollops of cream in coffee took a bit of explaining though!

Diakat said:

However my present from mother in law was a gift set of assorted jams

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Hugs with fairy lights on from Snapsy xxx

@Diakat . That's 3 references to the JAM that I've seen posted now ( there could be more ).
You've got to let it go.