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GETTING INTO HEAVEN

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Randburg, Dec 12, 2014.

  1. Randburg

    Randburg Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven.

    I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"

    "NO!" the children answered.

    "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?"

    Again, the answer was 'No!'

    By now I was starting to smile.

    "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweeties to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?"

    Again, they all answered 'No!'

    I was just bursting with pride for them.

    I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"

    A six year old boy shouted,”Yuv goat tae be deid"

    :)
     
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  2. Tracieo

    Tracieo Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Love it!
     
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  3. Doriand

    Doriand Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    A Scotsman went to visit relatives in North America. As they were driving through the forest, a big animal ran in front of the car just missing them."What da faahk was dat?" "It's a moose" "Shett if dats yorr moose Ahh hett ta see yer Katt!!!!"
     
  4. IanD

    IanD Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I switched on my radio - tuned to Classic FM, & caught the tail end of an advertisement:

    " Merry Christmas - terms & conditions apply! "
     
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