Grrrrr need to rant

[amberzak]

Seriously, what the hell. How come all of you seem to have control. I'm reading about people who are considering a reading of 12 high, or getting their Hba1c right down. And I'm able to advise other people, but I can't get it right myself. I'm so frustrated. Sorry, I just need to rant.

What is going on? How come I can't control my sugars, no matter what I do? I carb count, but all I seem to do is do correction doses, and that doesn't even seem to be right. I mean, yes, I am much better. No hypos and not been higher than 18 in the last 5 days (yes, that's actually better) but I've been testing 10 to 16 times a day, doing as my tester says (I have the Aviva expert) so acting on my readings.

Today, for example. Started at 6.8. Ate breakfast after my morning tutoring, so didnt eat or drink anything other than water, but I still got a reading of 10.2 at 11.30. Corrected, and got it down to 8.4 which I'm happy with. Then it went up again. Been steadily going up. This has happened every day, and normally I can correct and bring myself back down. But despite my many testing and correcting, tonight I have a reading of 15. Grrrrr. Why? I am trying so hard. I really am. All I'm thinking about is diabetes. It's not like I'm not trying.

This was where I got to before. And it just makes me want to give up.

I'm on multiple injections, but really want the pump.

Oh, and everything affects my sugars. And I mean EVERYTHING. We were told you don't need to inject for 10 grams of carbs, but I had a cup of tea yesterday (3 grams) and it spiked my sugars.

Why can't I get it right? I'm sorry. I am really happy for you all who have it under control. As I am people I know. But when a friend of mine (type one as well) says 'I'm high, look' and his reading is 12, and I think 12 is quite common for me, it really depresses me.

I know that stress affects it, as does weather. I know I probably haven't got my background insulin right. I know it takes time to get it right and it's trial and error. I'm aware that I've been giving advice to others on the forum, and I probably can find reasons for all this. It's just so really frustrating.

And having people from church moan at me yesterday didnt help. I thought I'd been doing really well. Considering my life before this meter was hypo, to off the scale high, to hypo, to off the scale high, this is so much better. And I proudly told a friend who's daughter has type one (and just had a baby) so she understands. She was saying well done. And then this stupid woman who is a nurse stuck her nose in and looked at my readings (I was showing the friend). '11s, 12s. You really shouldn't be in double digits. It's isn't good. You need to work on your sugars'. WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE THINK I'M TRYING TO DO?!? Grrrrrrrr

I'm sorry. I'm tired, I feel put down (her comments must have played on my mind because I've just brought it up), and I think it's my wrong time of the month. Sorry to bug you all. Just really needing some TLC at the moment.


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[mo1905]

Wow Amber, I really feel for you. I'll start by saying I'm a little like you in that I can happily advise others what do do with their diabetes but could look at my own a little more.
As for your BG readings etc, I think it's time to go back to basics. I would keep a diary of everything I ate, BG readings, insulin units injected etc for at least a week. This may highlight some problem areas. As you pointed out yourself, your basal probably needs adjusting too if you are steadily rising during the day. Also, see if exercise has any effect on your levels.
Not a great deal of help but I am sending a "virtual hug" !
Take care, Mo

 

[Morganator]

(((HUGS))) If it helps you are not alone, I would be dancing if getting 11's & 12's. We are all different that's what keeps it interesting lol. As for that nurse I bet she is not a perfect physical specimen, just imagine her with a large boil on the bum :lol:

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[angieG]

Sorry to hear you are struggling.
Have you tried having breakfast or at least a snack when you first get up? If you don't eat your levels will rise as your body will compensate for the lack of food and once your levels go high you will be roller coastering to try and get them stable again.
Even if you have a biscuit or something with just a few carbs it will kick start your body for the day and you may find it easier to stay in control.
The correction doses may be making things worse too if you are not eating, I find if I over estimate the carbs in a meal I don't necessarily go low after the meal but it dips then rises before the next meal, whereas if I get it right it comes down and then stays level until the next meal. I found this out as I was correcting for the dawn phenomenon in the morning with my breakfast and always ended up high for lunch, when I lowered my dose I ended up fine at lunchtime most of the time.

Hope you get it sorted soon.
Regards
Angie

 

[mrman]

hi amber, know exactly where your coming from. Had good control for a few months, then out the blue, readings from hell and feeling ****! Change in weather, change in activity etc who knows. Problem is I'm not a very patient person lol and what good readings now. Much better day today though gaining some control back but as a motivater started to keep a detailed diary of carbs, ratios, suger to see if I can spot patterns. prior to this had nearly a 100% figure on all tests so all in range. Did go down to 50%, now at 65%, so getting better. have made appropriate adjustments and seems to be working. Also, what I find difficult is the fact friends and family really don't understand the mental strength and will power to achieve good control and when things arnt going smoothly how bad I feel.
You seem like u know what to do to get better sugars re basal tests, adjusting insulin/carb ratios. Also mistake I've made in the past is adjusting off one reading, generally a pattern is ness before adjusting hence why im now keeping a diary. Good luck, as you know plenty of help here
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[ConradJ]

Hi Amberzak,

I have the T-Shirt :roll:

A couple of things: once you've lost balance / control it does take a momentous and dedicated effort to return yourself to a better level... I'm still on my way there after years of Himalayan BG's and the feeling that I'm paddling through a sea of treacle, with the tide on an ever changing course. I guess you'll understand.

So, have you tried fasting in the morning? Wake up, check your BG and - if within a good range - don't eat anything and drink only water until lunchtime. Whilst staring at the fridge / food counter, check your BG's every two hours - if your levels have risen or fallen by more than 2mmol the likelihood is your Levemir dosage is wrong. If your BG's stay within range, then your insulin:carb dosages are wrong.

This scenario is referred to as "Basal rate testing" and is used for pump users, but is equally effective for T1's on injections.

There are other factors to consider: such as, don't do the basal rate test if you've hypo'd within the last 24 hours or are under stress/other unusual factors.

Do you clean your fingers before each test and not squeeze too hard?

Reading through your Grrr-ant, I think it's obvious that: a) you're over-testing and then reacting to each result rather than taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture; b) your Levemir dosage appears to be wrong (i.e. low) if this particular set of BG's is not unusual.

Call your DSN team and request an urgent chat; I think you're "trying so hard" that you're actually trying too hard and getting frustrated, anxious, stressed out, etc.

Yes, I do know how frustrating it must be - I had 25 years of complication-free T1, then it all went off the rails in 2003; I've been on a pump since 2005, but have needed laser surgery to both eyes and a vitrectomy to the right eye in the past year :thumbdown:

Don't give up, but do let out a little slack - the testing must be leaving your fingers ragged, not just your nerves!

 

[amberzak]

Hi everyone. Thanks.

I have been keeping a diary because I have a new diabetic nurse. Also, as my husband pointed out, I am so much better than I was. At least I'm reasonably consistent. I shouldn't have let that woman at church get to me. I know where I started, and how far I've come.

I will try eating something at breakfast. Thanks. I admit, I don't eat breakfast (the irony is I tell my students all the time how breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Should take my own advice).

I'm probably not helping myself by allowing myself to get so stressed about it. I'm on about 20% being in range at the moment. But then a week ago I never got in target. I was constantly low and then going high (that rebound high).

Well, thanks all. It's good to know I'm not alone. Feeling a little better as sugars have gone down to 11 (the church nurse lady wouldn't be impressed lol) and tomorrow is a new day. My plan for tomorrow is to take more background Insulin by two units and to eat breakfast.

Just wondered, I'm quite large. Could that affect my insulin absorption? I'm not huge huge, but I do have a bit of meat on my bones. I am trying to lose weight. (Another thing this nurse was quick to point out, I must add, as she said I must lose weight before thinking of conceiving, and it is something I'm trying to do but you don't lose it over night).

Why does no one give us credit for the things we have done well?


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[amberzak]

Hi Conrad. Thanks for your support.


"So, have you tried fasting in the morning?"

I don't eat until about 11 or 12 in the morning (wake up at 7). Sugars still rise. So thinking basal is wrong,


"Do you clean your fingers before each test and not squeeze too hard?"
I use baby wipes. Is that okay do you think?

"I think you're "trying so hard" that you're actually trying too hard and getting frustrated, anxious, stressed out, etc."
Yes, that sounds like me.

I don't trust how I feel. When I feel thirsty I immediately assume I'm high (even though most of the time I'm not) and when I feel hungry I assume I'm going low. I'm so used to my sugars swinging.


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[SamJB]

Hi amber,
Don't be too down on yourself. I was the same when I was carb counting. Fine levels one day, random highs and hypos the next. You're not alone, carb counting doesn't work for the vast majority of people (by "work" I mean get an HbA1c below 6.5%).

Of all the studies on carb counting I've read (around a dozen), none of them have got their patients to achieve HbA1c levels of 6.5% and below. The only thing that works for me and many others that have been in your situation is low carbing.

 

[ConradJ]

"I don't eat until about 11 or 12 in the morning (wake up at 7). Sugars still rise. So thinking basal is wrong,"
It may well be, however, (as AngieG stated) you may find your correction doses are sending you lower... with the attendant rebounds. Eating a breakfast is usually beneficial for both your control ...and your morning lectures - your brain needs fuel too!

Have you tried testing your BG at 2am and 4am? The dawn phenomenon may be causing the rising levels in the morning, but you may also find that you're going hypo during deep sleep periods (e.g. midnight to 3am), which then causes your body to release its own glucose stores and raise your levels over the next few hours. If you discover severe lows at night, then a bedtime snack of porridge or something similarly slow digesting, may help to avoid such dips. If you're running high at night, then your basal probably is wrong (unless you've done something to raise them).


"I use baby wipes. Is that okay do you think?"
Probably - I would steer clear of the fragranced ones. Note, that it's recommended that you wash using soap and water.

"I don't trust how I feel. When I feel thirsty I immediately assume I'm high (even though most of the time I'm not)"
I often feel thirsty when I'm low, maybe you do too? In which case, you may need to re-learn your hypo/hyper symptoms.

 

[Becca6510]

Amber ignore that old crone. Does she have to struggle with control every day?! NO. You're right loads of different things affect it, see if you can get a continuous glucose monitoring system fitted. You wear it for a week and it measures your sugar by doing like 250 tests a day. And then your consultant can see what your sugars are playing at! The more you worry and stress the worse itl get, it won't be helping so just try to chill the best you can and get the help you need! Also try doing some extra activity to bring the sugars down , if you enjoy any sports or a good workout? These are just ideas but book in with your diabetic liaison team and try get it sorted! Hope all goes well Hun!


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[rachy0121]

honestly i feel exactly the same, i try my best no matter what to try and keep my sugars under 10, but theyll always end up going higher. and it exhausts me trying to carb count and try to eat the exact right amount every day at the same time, but im sorry no person on this planet can eat at exactly the same time and the same things every single day of their lives its not possible. they say "try to keep stress levels down" how the hell is anyone meant to do that? trying to keep your sugars under control is stressful enough let alone all the other problems life throws at us.
as for the nurse? i dont think i would of been able to keep my rag, maybe she should try living with this disease and see how bloody hard it can be.
just a question, what does every one elses sugars tend to be generally? are they above 10 a lot of the time ?

 

[Paul_c]

Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes Solution...

http://www.diabetes-book.com/

cut the carbs, cut the carbs right back... then it makes the insulin doses much smaller and reduces the roller coaster of highs and lows...

I may be T2 on diet and exercise, but low-carbing enables me to keep my blood sugars under control. My father (age 77) is a very late T2 who is now on insulin as his pancreas is totally shot... he's following the guidance in Dr. Bernstein's book and is able to keep his blood sugar levels within safe limits...

 

[SamJB]

Ditto what Paul says. I'm a T1 low carber. When I was on a normal carb diet I had random highs and quite a few hypos. By reducing carbs you will reduce your insulin. When you're on a high carb diet there's room for error in the carb quantities written on the label, room for error on your calculated insulin dose and room for error in the amount of insulin that enters your blood stream. By reducing carbs you are reducing the room for error in all of those variables. Hence you will have fewer highs and lows. My hba1c went from the mid/high 7s to the low 6s. Works a treat!

 

[rachy0121]

the thing is ive tried to be on a low carb diet, and everything i eat has carbs in some form, im really trying to figure out what foods are the best?
any suggestions??

 

[Paul_c]

salad veggies as the carbs in them are tied up with intrinsic (ie not artificially added) fibre...

carrots in the raw form, celeriac, cauliflower, broccolli...

here's some guidance from a fellow low-carbing diabetic on what you can eat:

http://www.phlaunt.com/diabetes/18856280.php

her book "Blood Sugar 101: What They Don't Tell You About Diabetes" is excellent for guidance on how to keep your blood sugars within safe limits.

 

[nixbroome]

So glad I found this forum. I'm not alone - Amber clearly YOU are so so not alone !! If my Hb1(whatzit) result is less than 10 I throw a party! Get the pump if you can, it does help and is very accurate if you feed it the right info, but it's not a magic bullet!! From time to time I micro-manage with multiple tests, food diaries etc but this always backfires with an increase in hypos and swinging between hi and lo. My endo told me to lie low in the canoe and just ride the rapids- I had no idea what he meant then but I sort of do now so I try to curb my OCD approach to diabetes. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say this here but since I've gone on a ketogenic diet everything is a lot more delightful! I can't believe we were told to eat all those complicated carbs and lentils and beans for so many years!! Every single aspect of my life has improved since I cut them out!! I just take big glugs of good oils straight out of the bottle now and loads of fibre!!! Thin, healthy, shiny hair, good skin and clear-headed, what a revelation (for me at least).

 

[Bogusman]

Amber, here is my (negative?) advice, f*%k carb counting, f*%k testing your blood sugar. I have been diabetic for 29 years and I can honestly say that I have never had a days problem with it in all that time.
My eyesight isn't what it used to be and a couple of my toes are very slightly numb, but i'm 53 so that is going to happen anyway. Ok, I have taken hypos (a hypo to me is when I have passed out or needed assistance from someone) and that has happened VERY occasionally. I inject Novorapd before I eat, at breakfast, lunch, dinner, evening, (maybe an odd couple of units here or there) and then Insulatard before I go to bed and that's it.
If my bs is low I can feel it is low and eat something, if it's high then it's high, too bad.
Diabetes is a malevolent illness, there is no beating it, and the more you try then the more it seems to backfire and frustrate and depress you.
Have you ever noticed that all the advice and information etc. etc. etc. you get contradicts itself? Just deal with it the best you can and don't be too hard on yourself. As the late, great Frank Zappa said "and ultimately...who gives a f*%k anyway"

 

[Thundercat]

Everyone is entitled to an opinion but it is my opinion that the previous post is both reckless and dangerous. I have had diabetes for 28 years and last year for the first time I had a retinal bleed. I have mild neuropathy and early stage kidney damage. I was in denial of my diabetes for a long time and I know in my heart that my complications are a direct result of that. I now have stable bg levels and very very few hypos purely as a result of reducing my carbs (currently 80-100g daily) . I think I personally would find very low carbing difficult to do but of I have to, I will. I like being healthy and well and anything I have to do to continue being so is a small price indeed. The previous poster may well feel he is somehow getting away with it but, in truth, the longer you live with erratic control the shorter your odds on developing complications. IMHO anyone with sense should disregard advice that basically says 'to hell with it and take your chances'.

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[2christine]

when things get me down I just think of Kevin ,in the thread, terminal and scared, such a inspiration.