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Hate that I'm here :(

Discussion in 'Parents' started by MrsDMiles, Mar 21, 2013.

  1. MrsDMiles

    MrsDMiles · Well-Known Member

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    Hello
    My little boy was diagnosed few weeks ago, he is 3 in June. Please tell me it gets easier I just can't stop crying. I'm ruining everyone's life. I just hate it. Anyone going through the same? X x


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  2. Gonna

    Gonna Type 1 · Member

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    You poor thing. I'm newly diagnosed but I'm an adult and I'm finding it hard. No wonder you can't stop crying. I really feel for you. This forum is great and I'm sure you will soon have responses from other parents who have been through the same thing and come through it. Lots of hugs. Anne


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  3. MrsDMiles

    MrsDMiles · Well-Known Member

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    I think I just want everyone to say stop being silly it isn't that bad. Just feel like my world as ended. Need to try pull myself out of this hole x


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  4. Sid Bonkers

    Sid Bonkers Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I remember how scared and confused I was when I was diagnosed and I was 57 years old!

    Parents of diabetic children have my utmost respect and my heart goes out to.

    There are many parents of children with diabetes on the forum though and I'm sure they will be able to empathise with how your feeling right now and hopefully offer some useful advice and re assurance.

    Good luck to you and your little one, I hope you both get into a routine soon and things get easier for you.
     
  5. Traceylh

    Traceylh · Active Member

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    Hi, my daughter is 5 and was diagnosed just over 4 weeks ago, you are not alone in feeling like that, I am the same, I don't think that feeling go worry, guilt and grief will ever go w away but it will get easier to deal with, and my daughter surprises me everyday with how brave she is and how she just get on with it!
    The people on here are amazing people and give so much support!
    Any time you need or want to chat, not sure how much help I would be because its still all new to me but sometimes it's just good to let loose with everything.

    Hang in there xx


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  6. MrsDMiles

    MrsDMiles · Well-Known Member

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    I know that much worse can and do happy and he so happy in himself and looks healthiest I've seen him in a while. I just can't believe it's forever, I'm having our second baby on Tuesday. Planned section. Scared a out that, probably be on my own as don't want to leave my little boy. And he is being so so brave its all just normal to him already, he has his magic finger test and magic medicine. I'm usually up beat and happy but just can't seem to snap out of it. X


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  7. Traceylh

    Traceylh · Active Member

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    You will get there, and your have here for support!
    You will be surprised at how strong you can be when you need to be!
    Xxx


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  8. andywright

    andywright · Well-Known Member

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    I don't know how you feel. But if its any help I was 3 when diagnosed (Im 39 now) I have no complications. Diabetes care hjas come along way since then. Course there will be tough times but I promise that as time goes it will get easier to the point where it all becomes second nature. Make sure you ignore all the scare stories :)
     
  9. MrsDMiles

    MrsDMiles · Well-Known Member

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    Andywright, that makes me feel
    So much better already, just hearing your doing good with no complications. I have read way to much and joined way too many groups on Facebook where it is all doom and gloom. I'm sorry for being so negative and hopefully that'll all stop, just so difficult to think its forever, as you all already know, keep thinking if only he was a little bit older I could explain things to him. I'll be a happy Mammy if the artificial pancreas is here in the next 10 years. Thanks everyone for listening to me x


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  10. serankine

    serankine · Well-Known Member

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    Hi my daughter was diagnosed 23rd November 2010 then with coeliac disease 23rd may 2012. It may sound strange to say but after a whole things become normal and apart of every day life. Leah copes so well and takes everything in her stride. And yes she still plays up and answers back like any other kid. Obviously we watch her more carefully and I worry all the time but I try not to show it to much in front of her. She does miss out on something's like I stay at all her friends parties and she doesn't go to friends houses. But they come here but that's more to do with her gluten free diet. There is so much support around. Hope your feeling a little better and always no there is support here.


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  11. colacard

    colacard Type 1 · Active Member

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    My daughter was 7/8 when she was diagnosed, she's now 17 and has coped wonderfully with it all. I don't know how I would have felt with things if she had been 3! It was very hard in the beginning and we have had a few tough times along the way but she is so sensible and now knows no other life. Of course she has days when she says why me, but mostly she just gets on with life, thinking there are people worse off than her! Ask your DN for books on diabetes for kids, I remember one called Pete the pancreas, it was simple to understand for both of us, and she took it to school to show her teacher and the rest of the class.
     
  12. soostark

    soostark · Member

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    i feel you hon, and always here if you wanna chat,
    my son was diagnosed last november he is 9. i was very emotional to begin with, its so hard to take it all in,i still get wobbly days and feel sorry for him, but kids are adaptable,more so than adults, but i have to be strong for merlins sake, i try not to wobble when he is around though, i try and save my tears for when he is at school or in bed
    with being diagnosed so young, for your child it will just become part of their life and they wont know any different, obviously doesnt make it easier for you though. as a parent it is such a hard thing to adjust too, but if you ever wanna chat feel free to pm me xxx
     
  13. sarburg

    sarburg · Newbie

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    Well firstly its a rollercoaster having a baby let alone throwing a newly diagnosed child into the mix...dont be hard on youself,your looking after him and yourself and thats something you should be really proud of.my little girl of 14 months was diagnosed 7 weeks ago and I felt exactly like you and still do at some points.but the last couple of weeks have become a little more routine and as you gain knowlege I think you gain confidence.i dont know if he watches cbeebies at all but if so theres a programme called 'get well soon'...look on catchup and the episode 'sugar sweet' is about diabetes.its been a brilliant help to my eldest in explaining whats wrong with her little sister.he may just like seeing the puppet have a fingerprick done just like him? I hope that helps,Good luck xx
     
  14. MrsDMiles

    MrsDMiles · Well-Known Member

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    Thank you everyone for your support.
    I know I need to start being positive, I'm ruining my marriage the way it's going, and Oscar is just brilliant he doesn't mind any of it up to now. I'll have to have a look at the catch up sugar and sweet, I did read about that somewhere else. He is a very demanding little boy at the best of times so with this thrown into the mix as well! Perhaps the new baby might almost be good timing. Stop me reading rubbish on the Internet. If anyone is from leicester and love to meet up x x


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  15. Vic70

    Vic70 · Member

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    It's so hard to begin with my son was 5 when diagnosed he is now 7 it does get easier sounds as if you are doing a fantastic job already just take everyday as it comes it becomes the norm after a while hope you feeling a little better good look on Tuesday x


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  16. Palooka

    Palooka · Newbie

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    I just wanted to say hello and send you a big hug. My little cheeky boy is 8 and was diagnosed 2 weeks ago with type 1. Just like you, it was a huge shock and I have been trying to get my head around 'forever' too. He's just gone off to the cinema and I've told him that, if he forgoes his pudding and he goes to the cinema really quickly after lunch (and his jab), he can have two haribos instead. I'm still not quite sure if that's right or not. I am just determined to feed him really healthily but for him not to miss out on things all the time. Anyway, I'm waffling. I just wanted to send you some comfort and to let you know you're not alone in having a cry. We'll do it though - we'll be great.... Xxxxxx


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  17. jayne15

    jayne15 · Well-Known Member

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    meg diagnosed in October age 7 and I still cry- it will get easier and there are lots of fab parents on here that will be there for you, diabetes is a pain in the but but nothing you cant handle once you get into the swing of things.
     
  18. Sue_c

    Sue_c · Member

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    My daughter was diagnosed when she was 9 and had her 8th 'diabetes birthday' last week.

    I did nothing but cry to begin with - and even now cannot talk about those first days without getting upset. That never goes away really.

    The thing that scared me most initially was the thought that our lives had to become regimented and that we'd never be able to do anything again impulsively. That's not been the case but you do of course always have to have diabetes in the back if your mind.

    On one level I would almost like to say "it's not that bad"... but of course it is - but it may not be quite as bad as you're currently imagining and certainly not all the time. My daughter has never not done anything because if her diabetes - you just need to plan a bit more and ensure that the people around her know what they need to do in case if a hypo.

    You never stop worrying and every passing year brings a new challenge - ours are currently alcohol (fortunately she is being extremely sensible), driving and then next year it will be university... try to take it day by day though and try not to worry about it all at once.

    Try to find other parents in your area to meet up with and compare experiences. Diabetes is the perfect condition for a support group as its the same for everyone - no-one has it 'better or worse' than anyone else and you'll all be telling the same stories. If there isn't one in your area ask your diabetes specialist nurse if she can put you in touch with other parents who may be willing to share their experiences. When my daughter was diagnosed there was a very active group and I met them at a local play centre after about two weeks. I was first bowled over by how happy they were ... I guess I expected them all to feel how I was feeling... and they even joked about diabetes! I can't begin to tell you how much better I felt after that afternoon. I got lots of benefit in terms if diabetes knowledge but realising that life could still be normal was the most invaluable thing.

    There's no getting away from the fact that 3 is a horrible age for diagnosis. 9, if there could be a good age, may be it - my daughter could explain what she needed and could be persuaded to eat when necessary and once the first couple of days were over took it in her stride - it's going to be harder with a younger child so a support network will really help you. Try to train other people to give injections (childminders, grandparents) and to understand the main issues so that you have flexibility - if not straight away then once you're feeling more in control yourself.

    Just to say reading wise - "Type 1 Diabetes in Children, Adolescents and Young Adults" has been an invaluable book - initially I tried to read it cover to cover (it's about 2 cm thick!) but now use it periodically just for information on particular things. It has clear explanations, doesn't pull any punches but does give you everything you'd ever need to know. Another good forum is www.diabetesdaily.com. It's run by a someone with diabetes in the US so a lot of the contributors are US based also but it's very active and you always get lots of really informative answers if you post a request for advice on any topic.

    I wasn't going to write an essay - but have totally failed! Like most parents I could talk all day about diabetes.

    Very best wishes for Tuesday - what a lot to have on your plate all in one go.

    And finally 'be kind to yourself' - I usually hate that phrase but it is fitting in this instance. Don't try to learn it all at once and allow yourself space to feel this way - it will make adapting to it all easier in the long run.

    Sue





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  19. MattyK

    MattyK · Well-Known Member

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    Mrs d miles, I'm originally from Leicester, I can say with great confidence that when I was diagnosed 18 years ago, when I was 15 diabetes care in Leicester was second to none!
    If your little man is doing a lot for himself at this early stage, it really is half the battle, I know it won't stop you worrying, my folks were exactly the same as you and were trying hard to support me too. I must say I did find it difficult, but learnt much more by doing things myself too. I know it is different as your little one is still young, but you will be surprised by how tough he will be.
    Leicester support group is very good and used to hold residential weekends for kids like yours, I don't know whether they still do? They used to be held at quorn hall, I used to help youngsters deal with their new diagnosis. If you can get in touch with the Leicester group, they may still do the residential weekends.
    The support groups are really good as you can have as much or little involvement as you like.
    I hope you get on alright and come through the other end.
    It does get better!
    Matt


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  20. MrsDMiles

    MrsDMiles · Well-Known Member

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    Hello
    I just keep thinking about his future from
    Nursery to school to all the possible complications. It's so hard. He is so perfect and happy but I just can't believe it as happened to him. Wish they'd find a cure, keep finding myself wishing my life away so that he is older and understands more. It's all I think about day in day out, is that normal? I just want life back to how it was x x


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