Hi guys I haven’t posted on here in a long time. Tbh I’ve not had the best of year and my bloods have shot back up, my carbs intake is off the chart and the problem I feel is an addiction to food. I have tried cbt, 12 steps and even made contracts with myself (which I broke) to eat right and get healthy. For this past month my ankles have felt like there’s pressure on them and when I tried to get back to fitness it was quite sore to run. Even lying down I have this pressure in my ankles and now lower legs that I’m really worried about it. I’m on metformin and anogliptin however I am stuck in this loop of wrong foods and it’s not because I don’t know what to eat, calorie counting, meal preps, more exercise etc. I have depression and the only happiness I’ve felt now is eating **** however Immediately after it I feel guilty and I’m so hard on myself. I have accepted my behaviour is similar to an alcoholic and I need help, but there’s nothing to stop me doing it and I am now truly at the point of accepting the fact I am going to die through my diabetes. I am only 37 and only had type 2 for 2 years. I’ve looked online and found nerve damage can be the case however I’m secretly panicking about this as family aren’t always the best to discuss these things with. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow for blood results of my 1ac and I know it’s going to be high. I had to go in today for more blood tests on my iron and trans fats so I know tomorrow morning is going to be a lengthy discussion. I just can’t live in the circle anymore as I know my depression and it’s comforter ie eating is going to kill me. I used to train all my life and eat right then that went downhill on the passing of my parents. The doctors said on my last 1ac if the tablets don’t help then they’ll put me on a tablet that makes me urinate more but I don’t feel it’s the tablets. It’s the food addiction. Just don’t know what to do anymore. Sorry for the long post.