I'm feeling really down

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paula.nolan42

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I've only been diagnosed T2 since the end of November and I've only been monitoring my BGs for a week. In the mornings I'm always 7 something. So I'm already starting out high. From the moment of my diagnosis I cut out everything, smoking, coffee (with sugar) all cakes, biscuits, treats, chocolate crisps, bread, crackers, peanut butter. All gone. I drink tea, I hate it. I don't drink coffee with out sugar and sweeteners are yucky. All my portion are tiny compared to before. Everything gets weighed, everything gets logged. Yet it would seem I'm still eating too much, I look at the "what people are eating" forum and I wonder how 1 coffee can be considered breakfast. How can they eat so little. I have drastically reduced my food intake. And while I'm not officially LCHF I do think I've reduced hugely. But now it seems more and more things are on my 'banned' list. And I have no idea what to replace things with. As a type this I'm in Cafe Nero having yucky tea and desperately ignoring all the yummy food thing I want to scoff. I feel hot tears behind my eyes, ready to cry, ready to make me look like a fat fool. I've lost nearly 10kg since November. My HbA1c has reduced a lot. Up until this morning I thought I was doing ok, not great, just ok. But how am I supposed to keep this reduction going for the rest of my life?? How am I supposed to have a balanced intake of food when it seems that I'm still having too much of what little I'm eating. Im supposed to be at Pilates. But I can't be ***** right now. I don't have anyone to talk to about this and it would seem that when I do say anything I'm offending someone or I get upset and defensive. Food is everywhere and I can't eat any of it.
 

Natalie1974

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Sorry you're feeling so down.
Try to focus on the positives...a reduction in Hba1c is incredibly positive...as is weight loss. Do some more research into low carb alternatives...if you put your mind to it you'll be amazed at what you can find. Stick with us here...we do get it...and we're here to support one another.
 
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catherinecherub

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Hi @paula.nolan42,

You are having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. A diagnosis is a big shock to the system and we do grieve for the life we had before.
Eating smaller portions is a rather broad term and I wonder if, although you are trying to sort out an eating plan, whether you are not eating enough and that is why you are constantly fixated on food.
If you are going down the LC route then it might be an idea to join the LC Programme attached to this site so that you can see that whilst you may have to cut back on some foods, there are plenty that are not off limits.
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/lowcarb/
There are weekly modules and you can ask questions so that you understand everything that is involved.
Hope this helps. (((((hugs)))))
 
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Avocado Sevenfold

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Hi @paula.nolan42 Sorry to read you are down x

In my opinion, eating for good control is not about deprivation, it is about finding a different way of eating. The more delicious and varied this way of eating is, the more sustainable it will be. Concentrate on what you can eat. Don't be afraid to try new things. As CC says, you may not be eating enough. It is still early days. Many people who low carb report that their taste buds change over time and they no longer enjoy sugary things (milk chocolate is a prime example)

I suspect many of these breakfast coffee drinkers you see on here may be adding cream to their coffee. This is a great way to add sweetness without adding carbs and is good fuel for the day.
 
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ally1

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Sorry you are down, at the moment I am also down as my fasting bs levels are in the 11,s as a few weeks ago they were in the 6.s. admittedly the past few weeks I have been eating more because I, m cutting down on smoking. Not a good enough excuse on my part. I also suffer with bipolar which when I, m manic, my eating goes
 
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muzza3

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Hi @paula.nolan42

Wow don't be so hard on yourself as I am in awe of what you have achieved to date, it is GREAT
  • Lost 10% of your body weight having;
  • Stopped smoking and
  • Reduced your HbA1c
That is one hell of a three months. No wonder you are a bit fed up. Have a look thru the cookbooks on here and try something that appeals to you. Perhaps even have a good coffee with a sugar once a week if you have had a good week. Use your meter to trial a few snacks that appeal and if they do not raise your levels beyond acceptable spikes add them in.

But give yourself a pat on the back for a tremendous three months!!
 
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13lizanne

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Hi pal, it all stinks,does it not? The worst thing about feeling down is- what you said- your friends, family, and non-diabetic people just don't get it and say the wrong things which makes us prickly then we say the wrong things. We get it though, we really do. Sending you a gigantic hug (and having a good swear and foot stamping session for you too) you know that you are cared about - a lot X
 
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amgrundy

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Hi pal, it all stinks,does it not? The worst thing about feeling down is- what you said- your friends, family, and non-diabetic people just don't get it and say the wrong things which makes us prickly then we say the wrong things. We get it though, we really do. Sending you a gigantic hug (and having a good swear and foot stamping session for you too) you know that you are cared about - a lot X
Hi 13lizanne, I could not have put that better myself.:)
 

mo53

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Hello @paula.nolan42 I agree with @muzza3 you should be patting yourself on the back for your phenomenal achievements in the last 3 months! Fantastic. To change your eating and give up smoking at the same time is incredible! Don't be sad and depressed you are an amazing lady. Be proud! Hope your day gets better and better :)
 
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amgrundy

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Hi paula.nolan42, 13lizanne is right your friends and family and non diabetics do not understand, and yes can say all the wrong things we don`t want to hear. .... Something funny but not at the time....... I have just opened a carton of Alpro almond milk, as I was putting it back into the already packed fridge my husband came into the kitchen and said --- [ yes totally the wrong thing to say] What is wrong with ordinary milk think you are going over the top!!!!! Well big argument just doesn't understand or support me, and I told him. I am in one room he is in another. Funny now I think about it but not at the time. We all support you on here please don't feel alone or down we all go there sometime.:)
 
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Liam1955

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@paula.nolan42 - Sorry to read you are a bit down today. We all have them sooner or later - mine is also today so you are not on your own! But, as the others have all said: You have done fantastic, and in just 3 months too! :) And why can't you have the odd coffee in Cafe Nero as a well earnt treat? We on here are all one big 'adopted family' - so anytime you feel you want/need to let off steam, just go ahead. We are here to support each other in whatever way we can.:)
 
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AndBreathe

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I tend to agree with Avocado on this one, in that whilst we grudgingly accept that things must change if all we do is take things out of our diet, then there is a massive potential to feel we are missing out. Finding new and different ways of doing things can be delightful, and sometimes those things are really incredibly simple things. So long have so many of us been bound up in complex ways of eating, often with lots of additives or complex recipes that we've lost the joy of a a piece of chicken off the BBQ or slow cooked ribs from the slow cooker.

In some ways I think I was lucky in that within 3 weeks of diagnosis, I embarked on a long planned, and long term trip overseas to a country where there were always going to be fewer food choices, never mind fewer diabetes friendly food choices. The local diet is extremely carb heavy and sometimes we can go into the supermarket and it looks like it has been visited by a plague of locusts. There might be no yoghurt, no cheese, only local veg, like yamms or dasheen (both somewhat carb-tastic), and there have been weeks where the only meat on display has been chicken and imported chicken of super-chicken proportions (probably stuffed with anti-biotics and so on, in the States).

But, what that made me do was think about other ways of doing things. Never before would I have considered canned sardines or mackerel in hot sauce as a breakfast dish before, but I had that yesterday, by choice! It keeps me going and packs a flavour punch. The reason I eat it at breakfast time is my OH is severely allergic to fish and I eat it when he has already gone to play golf, so he isn't seeing or smelling it either.

I found t'internet invaluable and we found ourselves googling "low carb whatever we wanted to eat". You'd be astonished what's out there.

Aside from fish, I never eat differently to my OH. We made a pact we would still eat the same things as each other, together at the table, as that had always been out way of doing things, and we talk over meals. Sometimes he will have a baked spud where I won't, or he'll have a mountain of rice, whilst I have none or hardly any, but if we're having, say, chilli, it just means I get more chilli, which is the most delicious bit anyway, surely?

Over time, MrB has actually started rejecting more and more carbs, without encouragement. Partly he can't be bothered to cook them for one, and partly because he now says he gets bloated with too many. I couldn't quite believe my ears. The man is of Irish descent and I thought potatoes would have been heavily in his life forever, but no more (aside from roasties).

It takes time to get our heads around what we need to do and when and we will naturally resist that change. You'll get there. Don't disregard all that fabulous progress in your signature, but try not to start walking back in the opposite direction either.
 
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paula.nolan42

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You guys are all terrific. Thank you so much. Now I have tears of gratitude. I think you're positive thoughts reached me, I decided to go to Brighton to check out a yarn shop and have a wander around. I couldn't decide what to eat or where. And while making my way to the station I found a cafe called Love Fit Cafe. O M G this place has Low Carb on the menu with Cals and Carbs on the meals. I never felt so happy. To eat out and have great food. And as I sit here eating I read your messages and all is well again. Thank you, your support today has done wonders.
 
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Brunneria

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I'm a coffee breakfaster. And yes, I put in a hefty glug of double cream.
I use a 450ml mug, and put in maybe 50ml of cream (about 25g of fat and about 235 calories).
If I am going to have a late lunch, I will have another one at 11am.
No way is that deprivation! :)

I applaud your weight loss but for me, eating as a diabetic is more about sustainability than it is about calories, carbs or weight.
You are probably going to have to moderate your lifestyle and eating for the rest of your life.
These first months are about learning how YOUR body works, and working out how you can enjoy the next 40-50 years.

Food is a huge part of my life, and if I had to live on some restrictive, miserable, every gram counted, way of eating, I would give up in a week. I tried counting everything on MyFitnessPal for 3 weeks once. The tedium was unbearable. I started to obsess about it. I started monitoring nonsense like calories ***!

Now, I keep a rough mental count of carbs, have normal portions of protein, eat as many veg (non-starchy) as I can, and then use cream, cheese, mayo, butter, olive and coconut oils to make sure I never go hungry, or get bored.

I simply cannot bear Hunger (I've got some hormone stuff going on that means if I get Hungry, I turn into a Slavering Evil Witch. Ask Mr B, he will tell you). So feeling deprived, suffering, hungry, wobbly or generally ravenous is an absolute No! No! for me.
 
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Clivethedrive

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You guys are all terrific. Thank you so much. Now I have tears of gratitude. I think you're positive thoughts reached me, I decided to go to Brighton to check out a yarn shop and have a wander around. I couldn't decide what to eat or where. And while making my way to the station I found a cafe called Love Fit Cafe. O M G this place has Low Carb on the menu with Cals and Carbs on the meals. I never felt so happy. To eat out and have great food. And as I sit here eating I read your messages and all is well again. Thank you, your support today has done wonders.
Way to go...
 
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Scimama

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Hi paula
Glad you are feeling a bit better, as you can see there are lots of people on here that will support you so you aren't alone in this.
As you've already found out food is everywhere! and it forms a large part of our culture in terms of celebrations /occasions/ traditions.

It took me a while but I used the recipes and ideas available in this website and on other low carb sites to prepare my own 'cookery book' so when its a birthday / party / Christmas / Easter etc I have recipes I can make for myself for yummy foods that don't raise my blood sugars too much. Cakes, biscuits, pancakes, all sorts or yummy treats so you don't have to feel deprived.
I make my low carb 'bread', low carb veggie quiche, chocolate cake and low carb apple crumble at most family parties as I get moaned at otherwise!! At last years fireworks party most people didn't realise the apple crumble didn't have any added sugar and the topping was low carb, a few didn't even realise they were having cauliflower 'rice' instead of real rice!! o_O

some recipes can be found on here
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/post-your-recipes-here.2856/

http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/low-carb-recipes.4871/page-54#post-1066130

http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/vegetarian-vegan-low-carb-recipe-index.61859/


I find fellow forum member @ewelina has some great recipes on her site, she saved my pancake day, in fact they were so good I had them for Valetines day breakfast too
http://www.diabeticgoodbaking.com/2014/03/cream-cheese-pancakes.html


Also ……. peanut butter, you can get 100% peanut butter with no added sugar, most supermarkets have it, holland and Barrett also do a freshly ground nut butter, so you don't have to give up your peanut butter :)
 
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paula.nolan42

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Peanut butter is to me what cocaine or heroin is to others. I was a Jif or Skippy gal. I could get through a jar in double quick time.
 
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13lizanne

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Paula, you can make your own - just crush shelled peanuts with sea salt using a mortar and pestle ( available in cookware shops) this way you know that it is carb free and you can make it any consistency you like - as you crush, the oil in the peanuts is released and makes a smooth paste. I like it crunchy so minimal pounding of the ingredients achieves that.
 
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