Isolate or not? How to deal with friends who don’t follow Covid measure?

[Hill28]

I’m trying to follow the Covid-measures, seeing less people seeing. Testing when having a slight cold etc.

Now some of my friends are following the measures a lot less accurately. That might be not too dangerous for them (we’re in our 20s and 30s) but Type 1s are considered a high risk group. So now I find it very hard to tell some of my best friends that - of course they should do what they want - but that they are not welcome at my place like that, as they put me at risks that I am avoiding.

Was wondering, how do you deal with this?

 

[sleepster]

I go with "sorry, it's not worth me dying for" or "I don't consider *insert activity* to be worth endangering my life for"
If they value your friendship they should value your health too

 

[JoKalsbeek]

I’m trying to follow the Covid-measures, seeing less people seeing. Testing when having a slight cold etc.

Now some of my friends are following the measures a lot less accurately. That might be not too dangerous for them (we’re in our 20s and 30s) but Type 1s are considered a high risk group. So now I find it very hard to tell some of my best friends that - of course they should do what they want - but that they are not welcome at my place like that, as they put me at risks that I am avoiding.

Was wondering, how do you deal with this?

Type two here, but.... "Sorry, I'm a fragile little porcelain doll these days, I shatter easily. So regretfully, I can't [invite you, join in, go wherever]....". Usually if I say it with a bit of frustration in my voice over my own body basically abandoning me, rather than a "woe is me" type of inflection, that's the end of the discussion without a lot of coaxing to change my mind or accusations of cowardice. People don't have eternal life, but unlike you, your friends still live in that fiction. "No.", contrary to popular belief, also is a complete sentence.

Keep putting your health first. Their potentially (misguided) hurt feelings'll mend. You might not, if hit with covid.

 

[Vplum]

I am lucky, my friends are largely following the rules. 1 isn't and I pretty much said what Sleepster suggested.

 

[kaylz91]

I have this but its family

My grandad doesn't follow guidelines and I feel very uncomfortable with him coming here 4 days a week for his tea but my mum just says it isn't my house and she's entitled to have her dad round

I also suffer OCD so you can imagine how difficult things are for me

Wish I could just get out of this house
xx

 

[Hill28]

I am lucky, my friends are largely following the rules. 1 isn't and I pretty much said what Sleepster suggested.

i just gave Kaylz91 a digital hug, that should be still allowed i completely understand how you are feeling.

I find it hard to make the difference between friends following the rules/not following the rules. As no one is flawless, neither me. But having 2/3 occasions a week with (slightly) too many people and then coming to my place with a nose cold and saying ‘nah a test isn’t necessary’ thats were I drew the line...

on the other hand I also dont want to act paranoid. Sometimes hard to find the balance these days.

 

[Antechinus]

Your own health is of primary importance. Sure it's hard to say "go away", but you should only have to do it once. Seriously, folk are dumb. Whole nations are dumb! With this new strain from Africa threatening even young people it is so important to be assertive and demand your right not to be infected.

 

[Fairygodmother]

I’m sorry your friends aren’t taking Covid as seriously as you hoped they would @Hill28 . I agree, you should let them know that you can’t afford to take risks. Kindly, of course, if you don’t want to lose their friendship.
I don’t know where you are or what tier you’re in, but it’s I think it’s right to be very cautious. Maybe you can let them know that you’re planning something for a great reunion once it’s safe to have one.

 

[Daphne917]

We always spend Christmas Day with my OH’s brother and wife but this time she has decided that she doesn’t feel safe so they won’t be coming. I respect that decision because she was shielding but has now been told by the hospital that she is no longer vulnerable, however, ironically, both of them are furloughed and go shopping 4-5 times a week to B&M, B&Q, local Fish&Chippy, the Range etc whereas, due to my OH having heart issues and Parkinson’s, we have our shopping delivered, my Christmas presents have been bought on line and we have been to medical appts. We have been out but probable once a week to the local garden centre. We’re both still working - me from home and him 2 days a week mostly outside. On reflection, whilst I don’t fully understand her reasoning, I have decided that they probably pose more of a risk to us than we do to them so I’m glad she has made the decision for us.

 

[hh1]

@Hill28 have you explained to your friends that you're at greater risk and are therefore being extra careful? I have another condition apart from T! and that's invisbible too. My bigger problem is neighbours, so I just say to people that I'm being extra careful as I'm at greater risk if I get Covid. Most are fine with that and respect my right to make that choice. I certainly wouldn't let anyone in with any kind of symptoms; I also think that anyone who disregards your concerns isn't in fact much of a friend. Good luck!

 

[Diane fluteplayer]

I have this but its family

My grandad doesn't follow guidelines and I feel very uncomfortable with him coming here 4 days a week for his tea but my mum just says it isn't my house and she's entitled to have her dad round

I also suffer OCD so you can imagine how difficult things are for me

Wish I could just get out of this house
xx

Very difficult. I’d send hugs (virtual) but don’t know how to!

 

[kaylz91]

Very difficult. I’d send hugs (virtual) but don’t know how to!

Thanks, hopefully I'll be out of this place soon as me and partner have put in for a new flat so fingers crossed the council deal with it ASAP and we can get the ball rolling, it would certainly make my life easier xx