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My mom killed my plant

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by corbanwolf, Jan 11, 2021.

  1. corbanwolf

    corbanwolf Type 1 · Active Member

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    It may sound funny but it is true. I had my little citrus plant, it was a mandarin, orange or lemon, I am not sure. And I planted it from the seed. It took long time to sprout, I even thought it was some random weed that came with the wind. But after it grew a bit more I could see it was my citrus plant because when you rubbed the leaves with finger you could smell nice citrus smell. So I loved that plant. It grew so slow so I appreciated every leaf it grew and each new branch it had. I didn't count the years but I really loved that plant. It grew so slowly compared to plants so I knew it was hard work for a plant to grow if it is so slow. It came a time for me to move out. I moved out 3.5 years ago, and one year my mom told me that the plant is dead. I asked her why, and she said because she forgot to water it.... And so, I am 24 years old in 2 weeks. My plant died over a year ago and I still feel hatred to my mom. I didn't cope with the fact that my plant has dried because of thoughtless actions of my mother. I am an adult however I feel like a child for hating my mom for something like this. She doesn't have an Alzheimer or Amnesia or something. She isn't elderly either. I think somehow she did this on purpose because that plant took to much space or she wanted only her plants on the windowsill. So here's my question. Should I tell my mom that I cannot forgive her for what she did? How can I cope with that? It is like, something that you cared for for years is just destroyed so ignorantly. There is something that you put love, effort, energy into something, and then one person just destroys it out of random. And it is your closest family member. I think she doesn't even realize that I felt sad when she told me what she did because I could hear no remorse whatsoever in hear voice. Now I feel like starting from zero. I could just buy another fruit and plant the seed but why if life can be so easily destroyed? And, you cannot just replace what you had. If your child dies, you don't start copulating to have another one, some people do that with pets, like dogs, however for me it is so superficial. You cannot replace what you had. You cannot replace your loved ones if they're gone. When they die, part of you also dies. Life stops to make sense anymore. Now each plant I ever but or plant a seed will never have the same meaning as it had before. For one thing is, I am 24, why would I start something now if I could continue and take care of something I had for many years. One thing is sure that I will never trust my mom to take care of a plant, of a pet or never trust her with anything because she destroys everything I own. She just doesn't respect my aspirations and what is important to me. She probably thinks of this plant as of any other random plant. She plainly doesn't see how much I valued it. Also I will add I have not visited my mom since that time. I just feel such anger towards her I cannot trust her with anything. Also I never told her anything about it. Never told her that I am angry and disappointed. Should I tell her or not? If I tell her maybe we will have a big argument, but if I won't tell her, I will still be angry at her which will give me satisfaction for still hating her for that.
    [​IMG]
     
  2. JTL

    JTL Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Ask her what she did and if you don't like the answer you can hate her some more!
     
  3. JoKalsbeek

    JoKalsbeek I reversed my Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    *You* left the plant behind. If it meant so much, you should have cared for it, not made someone else responsible.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. zand

    zand Type 2 · Expert

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    I think you need counselling. To say a plant is like your closest family member whilst you still have a Mum is to me unthinkable. I wish I still had a Mum, or even a mother in law. You need to forgive her. Forgiveness helps heal the person who is doing the forgiving.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  5. Robinredbreast

    Robinredbreast Type 1 · Oracle

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    Hi, I have 3 Lemon plants, your's does look like a lemon plant. But, if your plant is so precious and important, then you should know what type of plant it is.
    Lemon plants needs light and a jolly good soaking. Let the plant fully dry out, then give it a good drink and let all the water drain away.
    Buy a citrus fruit, take out the pips and plant another one, or two or three, just to be on the safe side.
    Edited to say, as you left it behind, did you give your mum instructions on how to take care of it, watering instructions etc ?
     
    #5 Robinredbreast, Jan 11, 2021 at 4:57 PM
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2021
  6. corbanwolf

    corbanwolf Type 1 · Active Member

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    I am not sure what plant it is because when I planted a seed I forgot about it because I didn't expect to actually sprout. I didn't check whether citrus plants are easily to maintain in this climate. And after months I see it grows and by the time I completely forgot what I planted. It can be lemon or mandarin. Anyway, I could not take it with me because I moved out abroad. My mom is not in UK, and I am now, I could not just bring plant with me, they would thing it is a bomb, people at the airport. Anyway,
     
  7. Lamont D

    Lamont D Reactive hypoglycemia · Master

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    I lost my job last June.
    It was my dream job.
    My job was my life.
    Ever since that day, I have not been the same.
    My life has changed and I had a breakdown.
    I am in counselling and in constant contact with my doctor.

    You have an issue, your brain is not thinking things through. Your loathing of the person who brought you into the world, who dragged you kicking and screaming through your younger years. Cooked your food, cleaned you, washed your clothes etc. Is illogical.
    To me the plant is a secondary issue, your sense of loss is OTT.
    It is similar to a loved pet.
    It may seem major to you but in the scheme of things, it is not.
    We are in a pandemic, a thousand people a day are dying in the U.K.
    People's livelihoods are threatened.
    There are three million kids in poverty.
    There are more than ten thousand people on the streets.
    It is cold, it is the most unusual time for a long long time.
    And you use a forum to take your 'road rage' on here.
    You need to think things through.
    If you are Christian and can't forgive, you need desperately to speak to your doctor.
    Or, a great idea, speak to your mum. Talking is always good.
     
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    • Hug Hug x 1
  8. Juicyj

    Juicyj Type 1 · Expert
    Retired Moderator

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    My mum killed my bonsai trees when I was a teenager, was gutted, but I forgave her. I now grow avocado trees and they seem quite hardy :)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. JTL

    JTL Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I came home from school to find my rabbit cage empty and no way could the rabbit have gotten out.
    Obviously stolen.
    This was late 50's.
    I ran for about 3 or 4 miles to the nearest police station and puffed my story out.
    But you must do something etc blah blah.
    They put me in a police car and drove me home.
    I took the copper round the back to show him.
    Mum saw me through the kitchen window.
    My dad was home and came to the door what's going on?
    When he was told my dad told the copper to follow him into the kitchen where he lifted the lid on a pan.
    Copper nods and was walked to the front door good evening sir sorry to have bothered you.
    I didn't need to be told where the rabbit was.
    We'll get you another one soon and that was it the next day we sat down to tea and ate the rabbit... tasted great first time I'd had it.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
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