Oh my goodness, aren't you all having a tough time. I do so sympathize with you all, as I was worried when I read how much pain your son is in.
I have a confession myself, although I am nearer to 50 than 40 I had a bad hypo infront of my Mum this New Year, the first that was this bad....anyway during this hypo I was screaming out that I was fed up with living, that I was fed up with the pump, and that I didn't want to go on living with all this pain- and all this was me screaming this out and being very horrible as well.....it absolutely horrified my Mum, Stepdad and Friend that were staying with us. They didn't realise how much the pain and depression went hand in hand.
When I read your posting about your son, I was concerned that he may too be feeling totally fed up and depressed with the pain. Diabetes can make people depressed, but so can pain. I am so glad that he has your support, but it must be tough on you too. Perhaps if he is tearful, then he may need an antidepressant as well to help him get through this.
I only speak from my experience, I am not a HCP, just somebody that has chronic pain and depression and constant fatigue through fibromyalgia. I take ampitrptalene at teatime and citilopram in the morning. At the moment I am resting from all the trials of pain relief tablets, as I had a severe reaction at the end of last week, and am not due to see my GP till beginning of March.
Are you able to see just one GP that can really take an interest in your son? Sometimes it is best to stick to one GP and ask him if he will try to establish causes of pain and to get some relief from it.
I was also sent to a Neurologist last August, who didn't think I had diabetic neuropathy, but thought I needed an MRI scan of my neck that I am still waiting for.
Apparently the pain clinic where we live is about a year's waiting list, I believe most hospitals have them. I was referred by my GP.
I don't want to pry too much, but what made your son fall down the stairs? I know we bought a bungalow because I found it difficult to go up and down stairs, but the fact that your son has fallen downstairs suggests to me (Not an expert though!!!) that it may not have been because of pain, but possibly being a balance issue.
You also say he has difficulty walking across your lounge, it that through pain or with possible balance problems as well?
Does your son see GP's and HCP's by himself or with somebody else with him?
So many questions I know, but I am concerned because I see some of what your write about your son, in me, and how I felt. There is help that you can get, don't give up, but please seek further help from your GP. Mine actually saw me weekly initially, and I think this may be what your son needs. You can't bombard your GP all at once with a list of problems, so try to book up weekly appointments to discuss issues with him/her.
Do let us know how you get on, I am concerned for all of you, as I know how badly it can afect the people around you....best wishes...