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Newly diagnosed, feeling daunted

Discussion in 'Newly Diagnosed' started by James.Kapherr, May 3, 2022.

  1. James.Kapherr

    James.Kapherr Type 2 · Member

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    Hi all,

    My name is James and I'm 43 and from the UK. I am overweight (21st 4lb) and 180cm tall. I'm active - can walk over 11 miles without issue. My resting heart rate returns to normal quickly after exercise - and I have normal blood pressure and low cholesterol. My mother had Type 1 diabetes and my father has Type 2.

    I found out on Friday that I have Type 2 Diabetes - my HbA1c level came back as 52. I had the blood tests done back in January and the doctor said if he didn't call me, then the results were fine. He never called so I assumed all was fine. Queue Friday when the receptionist called to apologise that I wasn't called back. A routine check was carried out and they saw that I never got the call, so they called me to tell me.

    Today I spoke with the doctor on the phone and he has prescribed me Metformin and told me to eat healthier. I know this - I'm overweight and know I need to make healthier choices. He told me he'd refer me to "DESMOND" where I can get other answers.

    So off I pop.

    I am married but suffer from depression. Most of the time, I am fine - managing it well. Then something like this happens and the first thing I do, is try to talk to my wife about it. All I get is lectures - everything I already know and we have talked about before - so we argue. All I want to do is tell her what I want to do to make positive changes but she tells me that eating certain things is fine ("You can eat as many potatoes as you like if they are boiled or jacket potatoes") when I know it isn't strictly true. When I tell her I want to follow the correct plan and find out more from this DESMOND course and they mention something she said as being true, I get the whole "Why is it you don't believe me when I tell you?" spiel. I just want to do it right and not base it off of assumptions.

    I feel my depression is coming on again as I can't stop feeling dark thoughts coming on again. I need support, not lectures and aggression. In the past, my depression comes from the fact I NEVER talk to people about my thoughts and feelings. I began being able to do that, but now whenever I speak with my wife about this - she gets upset, shouts and it escalates to the point I go back into withdrawal talking about things. All my friends are family members on my wife's side - I have no actual friends I can talk to. I can't talk to them. I have no family on my side - so I feel so alone.

    I don't even know where to start as everything feels like information overload.

    What can I eat? What can't I eat? Do I have to count things? Measure things? I looked at some books on what Type 2 diabetics can eat - but everything is tailored to eating programmes which assumes you can be at home to cook everything - I work in an office with no cooking equipment or microwaves etc

    I don't have much faith in the support I will get from my GP. First he doesn't call me about this issue. Then when he calls me, it's late. Then he doesn't send the prescription to the pharmacy so I have to go back to ask where it is. At no stage has anyone told me that I can claim free prescription for diabetes medication - I found that on Google. Got a form now - assume I tick the box for "Diabetes insipidus or other forms of hypopituitarism"?

    I feel in despair at the moment. It will pass - so sorry for getting these words out.
     
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    #1 James.Kapherr, May 3, 2022 at 7:29 PM
    Last edited: May 3, 2022
  2. Rachox

    Rachox Type 2 (in remission!) · Moderator
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    Hi James and welcome to the forums. You’ve come to the right place for help, advice and support. First take a deep breath, there is quite a bit to learn but it’s a marathon not a sprint, switch things out gradually. I had success in losing weight and getting my diabetes (mellitus not insipidus) under control. Three things I did to achieve this, lowered my carb intake right down, bought a blood glucose meter to test at home plus I take Metformin, though that only has a small effect, diet is by far the best way to get control. Here’s a link to one of our members explanation of how to sort your diet out:
    https://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/blog-entry/the-nutritional-thingy.2330/
    Have a read and come back with any further questions, there’s always some one to help
     
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  3. Lainie71

    Lainie71 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi James you have definitely come to the right place. The support we give each other here is paramount. I wouldn't have got as far listening to my GP but the advice and encouragement here has helped me endlessly. Stick with us and you will be fine. I have had a pants day today and have the lovely reading of 11 but don't know where its come from but I am not ashamed to tell everyone my ****** reading as there is no "telling off" on here. Just encouragement ;)
     
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  4. Lobsang Tsultim

    Lobsang Tsultim Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi James, I'm another newbie. Only diagnosed a couple of weeks ago when I was scheduled for an operation. It is info overload for us to be sure. I've found the forums and info here a great help. It's got to be a shock for both you and your wife: I hope you both can work together to learn about and tackle it.

    I'm cutting back on carbs myself, so lots of leafy green vegetables and some protein plus fats. For office lunches, how about taking a prepared salad with a dressing and a couple of boiled eggs, or cold chicken or Quorn pieces etc.
     
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    #4 Lobsang Tsultim, May 3, 2022 at 8:37 PM
    Last edited: May 3, 2022
  5. VashtiB

    VashtiB Type 2 · Moderator
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    Hello and welcome @James.Kapherr

    You have definitely come to the right place for advice and support. I too suffer from depression and there are some days it can feel overwhelming. The support I received here has made all the difference.

    The first thing I would say is that I agree with @Rachox - it is a marathon not a sprint so while there is a lot to learn you don't have to do it all at once.

    The second thing I would suggest is that if you don't already have a meter then I recommend that you get one. It is the tool that will help you learn the effects of different foods on your body.

    I also suggest reading the following link- I found it really useful.

    https://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/blog-entry/the-nutritional-thingy.2330/
     
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  6. Antje77

    Antje77 LADA · Moderator
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    You've got many useful answers already, so I won't add to that, but is that a ferret in your profile pic? I think it's a great pic!
     
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  7. James.Kapherr

    James.Kapherr Type 2 · Member

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    It sure is - he's a little rascal called Axl ;)

    Thank you everyone for your posts - i've read through the post from Rachox - and ordered a test kit ( VivaChek Ino X ) - so should arrive tomorrow. Seemed to have a lot of good reviews.

    Got a lot more reading to do - still feeling down. Tried to talk to my wife again, but she has told me she doesn't want to know or to talk to me about it.

    Thanks again for all the positive comments and suggested reading.
     
    • Hug Hug x 2
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  8. Antje77

    Antje77 LADA · Moderator
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    He's very pretty, please say hello to him!
    I guess this means you're on your own for now when it comes to your diabetes. Which is hard, but perhaps better than her interfering with your getting to grips with it and learning.
    Once you've got a bit of a handle on it all, things simply are the way you say they are, as you'll be the expert!
    Hang in there, we've got your back!
     
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  9. MaviesDavies2

    MaviesDavies2 · Member

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    Hello James. I’m also a fairly newly diagnosed T2, with depression too.

    I’m sorry your wife has shut you down. That must be hard.

    I would say: you don’t need to do anything drastic immediately. Take some time to read up on things, find info out, do research. Your GP should point you in the direction of a diabetic nurse, who can give you some of the basics too (but there is a lot of variety in DNs!)

    I know that being diagnosed is a lot to take in, and it’s easy to be very hard on yourself about it, particularly if you are followed round by that flippin black dog.

    You are not alone, not by a long shot.

    Keep on asking questions here.
     
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  10. MrsA2

    MrsA2 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Your meter will become your friend as it will clearly show you what works for your body and what doesn't. It will know you better than any outsider, including your wife and GP.
    We are all different and find different foods affect us differently...that's why there's so much conflicting advice out there.
    Over time you will get to know your own body and will be expert in your diabetes..
    I've never seen a GP about mine, was diagnosed in the first lockdown week, over 2 years ago now, but have found tremendous support and information on here. Am still happily learning 2 years on. This is for life so take it steady, no need to rush or panic
    And yes most of us felt down or shocked or confused at diagnosis, it's perfectly natural and only temporary.
    Welcome!
     
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  11. Ronancastled

    Ronancastled Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I typed a big response cause you are me 3 years ago, through cutting, pasting & parsing I lost it all, ******.

    Hit low carb, ignore the dieticians, watch your wifes face light up as the stones drop off, keep up the exercise, you'll be non-diabetic in 3 months.

    See my Sig, guess what that will do to your metal health.
    Fist pump
     
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  12. Resurgam

    Resurgam Type 2 (in remission!) · Expert

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    Hello @James.Kapherr - the good news is that your Hba1c is not as high as some - but your wife might just be a teeny bit wrong about the potatoes.
    I don't eat potatoes - but I am a really ordinary type 2 with a high sensitivity to carbs. You might be something more interesting, but I find my diet is easy to stick to and it works for me - so might be worth a shot.
    Any meat fish seafood, eggs or cheese, full fat dairy - all are fine as they are low in carbs.
    I cat low carb veges as my meter shows me that I can get normal blood glucose numbers if I stick to low carb - you might find that you see normal numbers at two hours from starting to eat when you have more carbs or different foods.
    I eat things such as cauliflower cheese made from cauliflower and cheese, or use any left over mashed swede to make bubble and squeak - I also eat salads and do curries with cauliflower instead of rice, and real coffee with cream.
    I think type 2 is diabetes mellitus, by the way.
    Oh - just in case it is relevant - my husband has been eating a fairly low carb diet most of the last 40 odd years and never once had any bother with what men seem to worry about. Not once. Apparently that is unusual. Of course it might be down to my ravishing good looks, possibly.
     
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  13. Hezzal

    Hezzal · Member

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    Hi James, it’s very easy to feel adrift when we’re first diagnosed…I’m sorry you’re not currently finding much support at home, but sometimes our loved ones are as shocked and frightened as we are and that can turn to anger at the perception that this is something we’ve brought on ourselves. If you read further on here you’ll see that we have a propensity to be addicted to carbs BECAUSE our bodies have an increased likelihood of becoming diabetic! So no blame should be attached by her or you! The good news is that you’re in the right place for support…and more importantly INFORMATION…best of luck and hang in there!
     
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  14. Daibell

    Daibell LADA · Master

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    Hi. It's difficult when your wife reads all the NHS and other nonsense about diet and assumes they know what they are talking about - they don't. See if you have a good DN at your surgery. My DN is superb and knows that low-carb is the way to go. Point her to this forum perhaps? So, yes keep the carbs down and have enough proteins and fats to keep you feeling full. Don't worry about fats and cholesterol as the body doesn't directly store fat as fat. Your blood test results should continue to show good lipids results even having more fat and less carb. Exercise is always good of course. The Desmond course should be good but beware NHS staff who haven't a clue about diet.
     
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  15. James.Kapherr

    James.Kapherr Type 2 · Member

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    I've had a few days to get my head around things and things are a bit better now. My wife and I have sat down and talked more and we are both prepared to make the changes and she is supporting me. I think we just had a wobble in the week which also seemed to impact other family members - must be something in the air!

    One of my friends is a PT and he's going to sort me out a low carb diet with the aim to move towards being vegan to help as this is a good way of reducing my levels.

    I saw the nurse today - feet are fine - she gave me a lot of booklets on every day eating etc

    I received my meter last night so i've been spending a bit of time experimenting with it.

    2 hours after I ate last night, I took a reading - 5.5mmol/L
    I went to the pub and had 2 pints of cider then tested myself 2 hours later - 5.6mmol/L
    Before I went to bed, I ate something carby and tested myself when I woke up - 7.9mmol/L
    Before lunch today, I tested and back to 5.5mmol/L

    I am understanding more about the impact carbs are playing and how it impacts the levels - which is great as if I can see it, I can understand it and work with it.

    The thing I am kinda struggling with, is breakfasts; I am limiting myself to omelettes with cheese... which I probably can't maintain that forever. Need to find some ideas :) Porridge could be good - but arrghh no maple syrup is gonna be harsh!

    Thank you all for all the support you've given this newbie :) Really appreciate it!
     
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  16. Jayne1983

    Jayne1983 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi there a website that sells low carb bread and porridge and tea cakes it’s called seriously low carb. They do low carb brownies to and beer and wines. Good luck I went from hbA1c 54mm in March 2021. Then June 35mm November 34mm then this year March 2022 it’s 31mm I do low carb and I’ve lost 3 stone 8lb up to now I’m trying to get my last stone off but I keep Maintaining probably to much vodka on a weekend lol. I exercise every day to walking or exercise bike and running up and down the stairs lol my kids think I’m nuts .: good luck
     
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  17. MaviesDavies2

    MaviesDavies2 · Member

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    I’d give my right arm for readings that low!! Am glad you and your missus have re-grouped. I doubt it will take you long to sort this out.

    I have slowly weened myself off honey in my porridge, eventually porridge tastes fine on its own!
     
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  18. James.Kapherr

    James.Kapherr Type 2 · Member

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    Thanks Mavies - the main thing is to also lose weight. I am 21st 4lb - and whilst I am relatively fit (Can walk 11miles without a rest), this will ultimately have an issue later in life if I don't address it now.
     
  19. Rachox

    Rachox Type 2 (in remission!) · Moderator
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    Alternatives to omelette and cheese, are a fry up (avoiding carbier foods like baked beans, hash browns) Greek yoghurt, berries, any other low carb foods you eat for lunch or left overs from dinner. Personally I can’t tolerate traditional porridge, so have this keto ‘porridge’ instead, with a few strawberries each morning:
    https://www.dietdoctor.com/recipes/keto-coconut-porridge
     
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  20. Resurgam

    Resurgam Type 2 (in remission!) · Expert

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    I had to read your post twice - going vegan?
    Many people reverse their type two by cutting out the starch and sugar eating protein and fat instead, as they do not impact on blood glucose levels.
    I have had long arguments with vegans who tell me that the magical element of eating a vegan way will restore me to health and give me the ability to cope with carbs.
    So far my way of eating, low carb and lots of nutrients seems not to be possible on a vegan lifestyle.
     
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