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Overwhelmed with life..

Discussion in 'Emotional and Mental Health' started by sjm1308, Feb 12, 2018.

  1. sjm1308

    sjm1308 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi everyone. I'm looking for some encouragement and direction. I have so much going on atm I feel incredibly overwhelmed and instead of facing it head on I've gone into hiding and avoidance!

    So a bit about me.. A married nurse from Ireland.. Type 1 diabetic for 8 years.. Currently on Novorapid and Levimer.. Hba1c 7.5%

    Following a lot of struggle/trauma in my 20s I became depressed and anxious. I gained 3st I'm still trying to lose. Having been told for 17years it would be medically impossible for me to get pregnant (I went through menopause aged 15) we have now been offered a chance at ivf. This is incredibly surprising to us both. We have our app with fertility clinic next month but obviously I need to lose weight and improve my A1c (especially at my age). My consultant is changing my insulin to fiasp and I've been prescribed the libra so that should help but I'm so stuck in a rut with my diet and (lack of) exercise.

    I'm also awaiting investigation for inflammatory bowel disease. My app with that consultant is in a few weeks. Obviously that's also worrying me.

    Then I'm starting a new job in a few weeks. I'll be leaving a nursing home (very quiet, physically easy job) to go to a busy hospital ward which will be very busy and physically demanding. I'm terrified as I also have very low confidence.

    My last issue is my home. I'm struggling to get into a routine with housework and cooking. I work 3 13hour shifts a week so I have 4 days off to get everything done yet I let my anxiety overwhelm me and I end up leaving the house work for weeks on end.

    I know this is technically only partly a diabetes problem but I know a lot of you are experienced with what I'm struggling with so am hoping to get a few tips. It's quite embarrassing to ask for help but I'm really struggling. Any advice would be most welcome.
     
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  2. Mike D

    Mike D Type 2 · Expert

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    Why did you switch jobs? Unless it was a forced change, I don't quite get that with your anxiety
     
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  3. Juicyj

    Juicyj Type 1 · Moderator
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    Hi @sjm1308 Sounds like a lot going on there, no wonder your feeling over whelmed.

    Ok let's look at this in terms of priorities...

    1. You, feeling less anxious, taking steps each day to manage your anxiety, can you get out for a walk on the days you have off, so just a 20-30 minute walk in th fresh air, does wonders for anxiety, deep breaths and green spaces. Gentle exercise will help both your weight and HbA1c, so has lots of positives and will ultimately help you feel better mentally.

    2. IVF, sounds like it may still be a while off, so don't worry about this yet.

    3. Work, was it necessary to change jobs, can you stay where you are ?

    4. Housework, bottom of the pile, there will always be housework, don't let it drain you, instead just focus maybe on getting 1 or 2 jobs done a day, don't look at the whole picture, break it down into manageable tasks.
     
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  4. sjm1308

    sjm1308 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    The home is being sold so staff made redundant. No choice in the matter unfortunately..
     
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  5. sjm1308

    sjm1308 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Thank you @Juicyj the job change is necessary and I didn't have much choice as to where my new post is. I can definitely do the exercise. At the min I don't do anything so I bought a pedometer today and will aim to build my steps each day
     
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  6. Mike D

    Mike D Type 2 · Expert

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    Understood. Good luck and good health :)

    Just control what you can
     
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  7. Juicyj

    Juicyj Type 1 · Moderator
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    The exercise is a good start, using the pedometer will give you a good sense of achievement and work well no point worrying about it until you are doing it, you should be trained so it will be a good chance to buddy up with someone and find friends, take one step at a time with all this, as I said there's a lot going on so one day at a time.
     
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  8. lindijanice

    lindijanice Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hey sjm 1308m, sending you a big hug and a wee kick in the behind....hope it doesn't hurt! I have struggled with depression for many, many years - partiicularly when we lost two pregnancies, had three bouts of serious cancer, chemo....etc., etc. House work was the last thing on my mind, but constantly looking me in the face - never went away! So, I decided that less chaos = less stress and anxiety....I came up with a plan and a reward system for myself and maybe you can try something like this as well....Every day there were two tasks that I had to do and I wrote them down....then, when done, I literally put a god star beside each one - yes, I bought gold stars and pasted them to the paper! It may sound silly, but seeing those stars there I would think "Cool, I actually accomplished something good today"! The hubby noticed these changes as well, and being ever supportive as he has been all through our married life, would cheer me on by thanking me for doing the laundry or cleaning the bathrooms....it was less for him to do....Gradually, I increased to more things being put on my list and checking them off was enough - the gold stars weren't as necessary!

    I still go through times where I really don't want to get off my recliner and throw a load of wash in or dust the furniture down, but I recall how I felt amidst the chaos versus an orderly home....My home is "well lived in" not perfect, but comfy and peaceful - that's what I strive for nowadays.....it works.

    Having fertility issues is a tough one if one hasn't experienced them....the emotional roller coaster a couple goes through is terrible - hopes dashed, dreams of success seem almost improbable - social expectations overbearing and hard to deal with at times.....just remember to breathe and to be one another's best cheerleader and friend....be honest with your feelings and love one another well.

    A new job is scary and exciting at the same time - nursing is soooo challenging these days and people just don't get it with all that is thrown at us and the crazy expectations placed on our shoulders (retired RN here!) and then the distress of sometimes not being able to physically do our very best for all of our patients when we are understaffed, overworked, exhausted, etc., etc. A very tough place to be in emotionally and physically. So perhaps this will prove to be a good move for you - more active pace, learning a new ward, new team members....think on the positive!

    Sorry for the long post, but your situation has brought back lots of memories and I just wish you and your hubby all the best with your appointments and whatever happens from there. Please be gentle with yourself and give yourself some space to welcome each day and whatever that day holds - tomorrow is another day that you will deal with when it comes. Blessings/L
     
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  9. DCUKMod

    DCUKMod I reversed my Type 2 · Moderator
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    @sjm1308 - I'm not T1 and have thus far have avoided the black dog (well, except for a handsome black lab called Gelert), so I won't comment on those things, but I just wanted to wish you well and chuck into the mix something my Mum used to say to me when I'd be frazzled after a bonkers week a work (or whatever).

    At those times, she just used to remind me nobody ever died of a dusty skirting board.
     
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  10. sjm1308

    sjm1308 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    @lindijanice what a lovely post thank you so much for taking the time to reply. It seems you understand me very well! It is so difficult and not everyone "gets it". I will definitely take your advice on board. Thank you lovely xx
     
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  11. lindijanice

    lindijanice Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hugs/L :)
     
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  12. donnellysdogs

    donnellysdogs Type 1 · Master

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    I wouldnt worry to be honest about housework.

    My saying is that a clean house is for people that can afford cleaners!

    Otherwise so long as you have clean undies-well to be honest, what else matters?

    Me and hubby just went minamilist... been that way for me so long as I can remember.

    ivf and just getting to that point is a hard slog. Those lucky enough to fall reasonably easy may not realise what a toll it can have on life... so I wish you well...

    My tip for losing weight is just to go from a dinner plate to a tea plate.. I'm the opposite due to other health probs and just trying to keep weight on and jyst about working up to dinner plate of food!!

    You arent alone here. We undeestand.
     
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  13. sjm1308

    sjm1308 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Thank you @donellysdogs
     
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  14. Phoenix55

    Phoenix55 Prediabetes · Well-Known Member

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    I go with the advice offered by others. Break down the housework into jobs that are essential, those that are preferable and those that can wait. Then split them into manageable chunks for different days, those when you are not on a 13hr shift.
    To allay your anxiety about the new job why not ask if you can go in to observe on one of your days off, so that you can 'hit the ground running'. I usually find that most employers appreciate this apparent eagerness, and I am sure that you have enough experience not to 'get in the way' of fellow professionals. You will find out where things are kept, who are the key players, how things are done, anything that you need to remind yourself about or bring yourself up to date with modern methods.
    Then you can start to increase your own fitness through walking a little further each day so that you are a fitter member of staff when you start.
    Finally and most important of all give yourself a small reward for each task accomplished, even if it is a gold star, a new pair of shoes or a square of chocolate.
    You have asked for help, the second stage after acknowledging that there is a problem, so you can do it. Spring is coming so paste on a smile and go for it!
     
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  15. Nicksu

    Nicksu Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hugs to you - you have a lot on your plate!

    As the others have said, portion size and exercise. Reduce the size of your plate and walk. The good thing about walking is it doesn't have to be done all at once. Try for 10 to 20 minutes of walking per day. Split it up if you need to. When I was first diagnosed I found it hard work! Now 2 years down the line a 30 minute brisk walk doesn't even get me out of breath (I have to say I was knackered at first - I always needed a sit down after 30 minutes). Its a great cardio workout and its nice to get out and clear your head. Gives a break from all the stresses of the day. In the winter I tend to fit my walks in before I get into work (I get off the bus and walk - which is a 20 minute walk) and then 10 mins at lunch or whenever. And the best thing about it is that its free!

    Housework - do the necessary bits but try to keep some time for yourself - you need to de-stress. Don't try to do everything at once - it doesn't do you any good at all.

    :)
     
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  16. donnellysdogs

    donnellysdogs Type 1 · Master

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    When we moved to this home one day before I had my 1st mastectomy -all I coukd think about was to get home sorted for my hubby, so that he would be ok...

    Did it really matter? No, not in the whole context of things.

    30 months on, still here and now, although I know he will be ok and things sorted.. well, to be honest, it didnt really matter... a home is a home, no matter what...

    Your health, body and whole well being is more important...

    I couldnt have children, (non diabetic problems) and saw others in the same boat as me going through real agony each cycle with hope and despair.... uts a time that even family forget or can be stupid. I had an aunt who always said to me about I'm leaving it too late etc when she knew I couldnt have children. So you have a lot on your plate and think that small steps like reducing food to a small teaplate, and even (if you drive) parking the car further away from work to make you walk those extra steps will help.

    Be aware that fit gadgets alrhough can push you to doing more, they can make you feel upset that you've only done "x" steps when you wanted to do more... my hubby found it brilliant, I didnt. Made me feel again as if I was not adequate as a human..... at time my thinking was more "half empty" rather than "half full".

    It is just taking your way of improving your mind and body together.. perhps before sitting down in evening you could just push yourself against a wall for 5 sets of wall exercises. Or just run up tge stairs instead of walking up them at home? Every little thing helps body and mind. Its good to balance both...
     
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  17. Resurgam

    Resurgam Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

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    I am a terrible housekeeper - but I have a rule of three - each day I take out a small bag of rubbish or recycling, and I do some cleaning in the kitchen, and one more thing - it can be anything, washing, folding, dusting - but it has to be done.
    If I go to the sink in the course of the day to rescue something I need for serving a meal then I do three more items than needed - unless it is cutlery and then it is three sets.
    It is fairly painless and after a while things begin to look better, and then better again.
    Good luck for the future - I hope all goes well in all things for you - take one step at a time, just lengthen your stride on the easier parts of the way.
     
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