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please someone listen to me I am so worried

Discussion in 'Type 2 Diabetes' started by andreaabbott1, Jul 14, 2015.

  1. andreaabbott1

    andreaabbott1 · Well-Known Member

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    I am sorry this is going to be along post, I am just begging please for some response or advice on where to go what to ask for.
    My husband has been type 2 for 15 years, totally out of control

    he is never under 10.6 and the last blood test his HBC was 120

    now he hasnt heeded the warning signs at all he hasnt been able to get an erection for over 8 years, even with viagra.

    he has also had something wrong with his eyes related to high blood sugar

    the passed 4 years he has complained of calf pain when walking

    last year he developed a pain near his shoulder blade he was convinced he had been stung, which he hadnt but the sensation spread round to his chest and he was put on amitriptyline.

    This March for no reason he developed a pain in his leg muscle at the top he said it felt like a strain he had done nothing to course this
    but the pain spread into his back and down his leg and he convinced himself he had sciatica

    BUT and heres the but since March and even being on tramadol the pain is worse its in his groin and all the way down the front of his legs to the point he cant bear anyone to even touch his legs
    he also falls because his leg gives way in April he could go up stairs with ease now he cant climb the stairs, the pain wakes him at night and he spends most of the day laying around in pain.

    he is on morphine patches

    no one seems to be listening to me he hasnt been referred anywhere and even a walk around the supermarket is getting to much for him

    also in 2 months he has lost over 3 stone in weight while you may say thats great it isnt when you are eating packs of doughnuts and belgian buns and consuming 4 cans of fizzy drinks aday

    he is not eating normal food stuff as he says he has gone off food

    so from March my husband has gone from a relatively fit 67 year old to being less mobile than my 87 year old uncle

    I need answers, I need to know if this is just going to continue to get worse to the point he wont be able to walk or will it get better

    who do i ask my GP to refer him to as my GP just says oh its muscles pain

    Andrea
     
  2. pileobunnies

    pileobunnies Type 1 · Member

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    That amount of weight loss over two months is a sign of a DKA -- his blood glucose may be too high for his body to process food and his blood may be going a bit acidic. I presume you have had his glucose checked in that two-month window? Another sign would be frequent urination.

    Whatever it is, your husband needs a doctor, probably an endocrinologist, and you need a new GP.
     
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  3. pileobunnies

    pileobunnies Type 1 · Member

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    If it is a DKA, your husband needs to go to the hospital.
     
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    #3 pileobunnies, Jul 14, 2015 at 10:36 PM
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 14, 2015
  4. Shar67

    Shar67 · Guest

    Have you told GP all that you have written here or does hubby just tell new symptons, Hubby needs to be referred to a diabetes specialist, print out what you have written here so you can show GP.
     
  5. andreaabbott1

    andreaabbott1 · Well-Known Member

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    whats DKA?
     
  6. noblehead

    noblehead Type 1 · Guru
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    Your husband is having an awful time Andrea but his diet of Fizzy Drinks, Doughnuts and Belgian Buns won't be helping matters with regards to his bg management, I'm going to tag @daisy1 as she has some information that you both should find useful, but do ask for a referral if unhappy with his treatment under his Dr.
     
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  7. pileobunnies

    pileobunnies Type 1 · Member

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    Diabetic ketoacidosis. It's a shortage of insulin that happens mostly in Type 1 diabetics. I'm Type 2, and I was hospitalized with a DKA in February after two months of extremely rapid weight loss for no apparently reason -- that's because the body is desperate to try to cope without functioning insulin and thus was using up my fat reserves to keep me alive. Side effect of that process is the blood gets acidic, which isn't good. I was in hospital for several days. It can be life threatening. I was so exhausted that I could barely move across my apartment, but after a few days of being in hospital, I felt perfectly fine.

    A doctor needs to check your husband for ketones to rule this out.



     
  8. andreaabbott1

    andreaabbott1 · Well-Known Member

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    The GP did a blood test last week and his hb had gone down to 88 the doctor said thats good and didnt seem at all worried about the sudden huge weight loss
     
  9. pileobunnies

    pileobunnies Type 1 · Member

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    Your doctor sounds like a ****** doctor.
     
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  10. Indy51

    Indy51 Type 2 · Expert

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    Is your husband taking a statin drug? They can cause all sorts of muscle problems for people.

    But your husband sounds to have a great many issues and I agree that you'd be wise to find another doctor if the one you have isn't taking your husband's issues seriously.
     
  11. andreaabbott1

    andreaabbott1 · Well-Known Member

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    I wonder if they are not bothered because over the years he has missed so many blood tests, they suggested recently he went on to insulin and he has refused, he is on the max dose of metformin which still upsets his stomach

    I guess they can see no matter what they do he does nothing to help himself.

    I have tried the whole healthy eating with him and he sulks and refuses to eat and then makes his own food
     
  12. donnellysdogs

    donnellysdogs Type 1 · Master

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    If he refuses insulin then what can GPs or yourself do? @Molly56 has a similar sort of scenario in a way to you but is managing some aspects of being the carer.. As indeed you both are.

    The only thing I will just add in to this.. In a number of families there is one person that is the "feeder" ... The person that does the cooking.. Sometimes just 1 person doing the shopping as well. Are you the "feeder" or your hubby? Or do you possibly do tbe shopping together?
    There are small things that you can do-although it doesn't stop your hubby going out and buying himself rubbish good.
    For example instead of having say bread purchased.. Change it to protein rolls from Lidl or oatcakes.. Try making delicious blueberry paleo muffins instead of doughnuts etc....

    You say he sulks and makes his own food... Then the andwer would be not to purchase the items that he makes his food with..

    You say you've tried the whole healthy eating...have you ever emphasised to him that the food you do is healthy or healthier than his?? This could be emphasising his choices in the wrong direction...

    Is there say a reason why you couldn't say cook a roast dinner and load it up with veg, serve it and then say... "I forgot to buy potatoes" if the lack of them is mentioned?

    Statins and products with aspartame in can cause pains in places that you describe...but the chances are this would be also alongside neuropathy from your description.

    We will try to support you through this but you cannot make your hubby change. It is only your hubby wanting to change that he will do it.

    I myself have a hubby (non diabetic) that had amassed fat... He was killing himself for best part of 15 years but change only happened when I found a superb private counsellor and we went to see him together. My hubby didn't have any ownership of the impact his actions were having upon me until the 3rd party counsellor told him straight.

    Best thing this counsellor said was to discuss things over a table opposite each other.. Even when discussing small things such as shopping lists as it professionalises discussions.

    The GP sounds awful but again if he has been missing appts he is lucky not to have been removed as most GPs now are removing patients if they miss 3 appts in 6 months. Some GPs have more stringent lines that they are following for removing patients...
     
  13. donnellysdogs

    donnellysdogs Type 1 · Master

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    You need to see a different GP.

    Yes, indeed it is very likely that it is going to get worse.

    You could ask for a referral to a pain clinic. You could ask for EMG tests to be done.

    However, it seems that GPs are also struggling. The thing about diabetes is that 99% is patient management 1% will be GP care.

    If your hubby fails to attend GP appts or blood test appts they are not obliged to priortise your hubby above the people that are struggling but that actually try to manage their diabetes....

    Is your hubby taking statins or drinking any products with aspartame in??
     
  14. Squire Fulwood

    Squire Fulwood Type 2 · Expert

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    You say that no-one is listening to you. Your husband is the one you need to convince. Whereas he should see a doctor he may take no notice of him/her either. I don't know what you do with someone who is so careless of his health that he eats doughnuts and drinks fizzy drinks.
     
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  15. daisy1

    daisy1 Type 2 · Legend
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    @andreaabbott1

    Hello and welcome to the forum :)

    To help you to help your husband, here, as mentioned by Noblehead, is the information we give to new members and I hope you will find it useful. Ask more questions and someone will try to help.

    BASIC INFORMATION FOR NEW MEMBERS

    Diabetes is the general term to describe people who have blood that is sweeter than normal. A number of different types of diabetes exist.

    A diagnosis of diabetes tends to be a big shock for most of us. It’s far from the end of the world though and on this forum you’ll find over 150,000 people who are demonstrating this.

    On the forum we have found that with the number of new people being diagnosed with diabetes each day, sometimes the NHS is not being able to give all the advice it would perhaps like to deliver - particularly with regards to people with type 2 diabetes.

    The role of carbohydrate

    Carbohydrates are a factor in diabetes because they ultimately break down into sugar (glucose) within our blood. We then need enough insulin to either convert the blood sugar into energy for our body, or to store the blood sugar as body fat.

    If the amount of carbohydrate we take in is more than our body’s own (or injected) insulin can cope with, then our blood sugar will rise.

    The bad news

    Research indicates that raised blood sugar levels over a period of years can lead to organ damage, commonly referred to as diabetic complications.

    The good news

    People on the forum here have shown that there is plenty of opportunity to keep blood sugar levels from going too high. It’s a daily task but it’s within our reach and it’s well worth the effort.

    Controlling your carbs

    The info below is primarily aimed at people with type 2 diabetes, however, it may also be of benefit for other types of diabetes as well.
    There are two approaches to controlling your carbs:

    • Reduce your carbohydrate intake
    • Choose ‘better’ carbohydrates

    Reduce your carbohydrates

    A large number of people on this forum have chosen to reduce the amount of carbohydrates they eat as they have found this to be an effective way of improving (lowering) their blood sugar levels.

    The carbohydrates which tend to have the most pronounced effect on blood sugar levels tend to be starchy carbohydrates such as rice, pasta, bread, potatoes and similar root vegetables, flour based products (pastry, cakes, biscuits, battered food etc) and certain fruits.

    Choosing better carbohydrates

    Another option is to replace ‘white carbohydrates’ (such as white bread, white rice, white flour etc) with whole grain varieties. The idea behind having whole grain varieties is that the carbohydrates get broken down slower than the white varieties –and these are said to have a lower glycaemic index.
    http://www.diabetes.co.uk/food/diabetes-and-whole-grains.html

    The low glycaemic index diet is often favoured by healthcare professionals but some people with diabetes find that low GI does not help their blood sugar enough and may wish to cut out these foods altogether.

    Read more on carbohydrates and diabetes

    Eating what works for you

    Different people respond differently to different types of food. What works for one person may not work so well for another. The best way to see which foods are working for you is to test your blood sugar with a glucose meter.

    To be able to see what effect a particular type of food or meal has on your blood sugar is to do a test before the meal and then test after the meal. A test 2 hours after the meal gives a good idea of how your body has reacted to the meal.

    The blood sugar ranges recommended by NICE are as follows:

    Blood glucose ranges for type 2 diabetes
    • Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
    • 2 hours after meals: under 8.5 mmol/l
    Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (adults)
    • Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
    • 2 hours after meals: under 9 mmol/l
    Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (children)
    • Before meals: 4 to 8 mmol/l
    • 2 hours after meals: under 10 mmol/l
    However, those that are able to, may wish to keep blood sugar levels below the NICE after meal targets.

    Access to blood glucose test strips

    The NICE guidelines suggest that people newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes should be offered:

    • structured education to every person and/or their carer at and around the time of diagnosis, with annual reinforcement and review
    • self-monitoring of plasma glucose to a person newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes only as an integral part of his or her self-management education

    Therefore both structured education and self-monitoring of blood glucose should be offered to people with type 2 diabetes. Read more on getting access to bloodglucose testing supplies.

    You may also be interested to read questions to ask at a diabetic clinic

    Note: This post has been edited from Sue/Ken's post to include up to date information.
     
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  16. copey399

    copey399 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I can sympathise @andreaabbott1 xx My husband has been T2 diabetic for over 10 years but just refuses to change his lifestyle or eating habits. He's progressed from pills to insulin but still eats junk food and gets quite aggressive or just laughs when I comment on the things he shouldn't be eating. He's had 2 heart attacks (minor fortunately but nonetheless ...). Since he retired a year ago he just sits in front of the TV from morning til night most days and sleeps. Everything's just too much effort. He says he sleeps all day because he has bad nights but that's a chicken and egg situation.

    Since I was recently diagnosed as T2 and did lots of reading and research on here I realise even more how his massive carb intake is doing him harm. He refuses to eat any veg except tinned peas and baked beans and lives on toast (with or without toppers). Plus pizza and fry ups etc.

    I've just resigned myself that you can't help those that won't help themselves but it's a miserable life watching him slowly killing himself. His brother has just lost a leg through a diabetic ulcer and even that doesn't motivate him to change.
     
    • Like Like x 6
  17. andreaabbott1

    andreaabbott1 · Well-Known Member

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    I know this sound like i am an evil but its not worth paying for a private health check up, honestly it would make no difference to him
    over the years myself and his sons have got him books magazines , we have explained the damage he is doing
    but everytime we say anything about his health he comes back with one answer
    you two smoke, which yes we do, (i should add never indoors as I have a disabled daughter)

    like i said he hasnt heeded the warnings a quad heart bypass, his eyes, erection, muscle problems

    I have bought vitamin B supplements he wont take them
    I cook healthy meals he wont eat them

    I honestly and screaming inside as to why the hell he cant see what he is doing to himself
    its me always me that reads up on diet and lifestyle choices and the dangers of type 2
    I dont think he has ever looked at a website I have even left this site up on his screen

    I even told him last night if he dosent get this sorted then I am not living with an invalid that has deliberately put himself in that position.

    I cant care for him I have a disabled daughter of 17 with the mental age of a 2 year old and another son in his 20,s that is autistic, I full time care for both of them and I just cant cope anymore when he is self inflicting this
     
    • Like Like x 2
  18. Robinredbreast

    Robinredbreast Type 1 · Oracle

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    Hello and welcome, so sorry to hear of yet another women's heartache and frustration with their male partner /husband. We, as females are not 'carers' for men, especially those with medical conditions. such as diabetes:eek: With diabetes, its about looking after yourself and if the men don't, then quite honestly that is their problem, not yours.
    You could write him a letter with everything that you have written on here, maybe, the message in black and white may make a difference ??
    Look after yourself, you have more than enough on your plate to deal with, please don't let what is going on drag you down mentally or physically.
    Good luck and I wish you all the very best.

    Take care RRB :)
     
    • Like Like x 6
  19. AndBreathe

    AndBreathe I reversed my Type 2 · Expert
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    I have spent a good deal of my working life, working with Change. Sometimes it's on a corporate level, and sometimes individuals, but to be honest, the principles for these things rarely differ.

    Changes happen for two reasons; either the person/institution volunteers to change (self motivated) or the change is imposed by a third party, which might be legislation for a business, or might be something the person encounters like a medical diagnosis or the unwanted breakdown of a relationship. Those are clearly just examples.

    Self-inspired changes as great, because the person wants it, and wants to succeed. That doesn't always mean it succeeds, because life and outside factors can all too frequently get in the way.

    Imposed changes are much more difficult to make happen. Legislative changes are easy, because the consequences of non-compliance usually make it clear why someone should or shouldn't do x, y or z.

    Otherwise, I find there is are two critical, critical questions to be answered for each and every person undergoing change. Those questions are quite simply, "What's in it for me, and what are the consequences of not making this change?" Without a clear engagement with those questions and answers, sustained change rarely happens.

    Now clearly, many of us can see the answer to both these questions, and have as such gone about addressing the change, but until your husbands do the same, you can encourage until you are blue in the face, but sustained change is unlikely to happen.
    I know all of that sounds pompous, and we can all be holier than thou and critical of others, but how many of us carried a few pounds before diagnosis, realising it wasn't really in our best interests to do so? How many of us have rellies with diabetes, and were therefore always at a higher risk of crossing the line? How many of us grabbed ready meals when time was tight, rather than going for the probably faster, and more healthy option of an omelette? Almost all of us. But, it wasn't until we had the stark reality of the "what is in it for me?" and the "What's the price I may pay if I do nothing?" that we bothered to do anything about it. My HbA1c at diagnosis was 73. In under 4 months it was non-diabetic levels of 37, and still reducing.

    With slight love handles, a brother who is T2 (albeit well with it) and a penchant for good food, why didn't I do anything about it before? Simply because was my desire wasn't great enough.

    Your husbands are adults who will have to live with the consequences of their actions, and unfortunately, you guys will have to live the their consequences too, but until the time is right for them to recognise those questions and answers, you might as well make the best of the situations you find yourselves in.

    I know that's a tough message, but it's a tough corner you find yourselves in. I just hope your chaps have a lightbulb moment sometime soon.

    Good luck with it all.
     
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  20. pileobunnies

    pileobunnies Type 1 · Member

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    It doesn't sound like you're evil -- it sounds like you tried and did your best. You can't push a mountain. He has to want to be healthy.

    You're in a terrible situation, but your conscience is clear. You tried, and you tried more than most people in your situation would have.
     
    • Like Like x 10
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