QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER

WhitbyJet

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,597
QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on......

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
 

CollieBoy

Well-Known Member
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2,974
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
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Hi carb Foods
QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER - I CAN TRY


Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
cos theyr out to sting us! :twisted:


Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
A sadist!! :twisted:

Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
The guy that said "that calf is drooling milk, my mum's milk was good, so I'll try that milk" - simples


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Maybe he doesnt like halitosis!! :lol:
 

ebony321

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Wonder how many people sang twinkle twinkle and alphabet song just to check if it does have the same tune.... i did.
 

Sid Bonkers

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Customer helplines that use recorded menus that promise to put me through to the right person but never do - and being ill. Oh, and did I mention customer helplines :)
Very good, made me smile if not LOL :lol:
 

mistee71

Well-Known Member
Messages
368
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FOOTBALL. MY husband is a sports fanatic and watches everything. Most i can put up with just not football.
I had been feeling down today until i read that. :lol: Thanks you've put a smile back on my face :)
 

Valentine

Well-Known Member
Messages
167
Some more:

Do PG Tea employees have a cofeebreak in the morning?
Why do you press start to switch of your computer?
 

sip

Active Member
Messages
40
WhitbyJet said:
QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

I grew up with a kid who pronounced his esses as effs -- every time he went to the shop to ask for a sucker, the shopkeeper chased him out.
 

Dolly 89

Newbie
Messages
4
I have one :)
if i was to ask you do you want to sleep with me would the the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?
 

Sever

Member
Messages
21
hehe that made my day about the dog one ,
As for pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? of course it does! >>
Random question , do you ever threaten your electrical 's when they break like turn on or ill throw you out the window or is it only me that does it :lol:
 

GraceK

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Insincere people
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FergusCrawford said:
QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER - I CAN TRY


Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
cos theyr out to sting us! :twisted:


Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
A sadist!! :twisted:

Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
The guy that said "that calf is drooling milk, my mum's milk was good, so I'll try that milk" - simples


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Maybe he doesnt like halitosis!! :lol:

The person who put an 'S' in the word lisp wasn't a sadist, they were a thaditht. :lol:
 

dabmim

Member
Messages
20
WhitbyJet said:
QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on......

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Brilliant, loved them! :D
 

hanadr

Expert
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WJ
I hope you aree feeling better, you made me feel good laughing
Ta
Hana
PS
I think the answer to the luggage question is that they hadn't read Terry Pratchett
 

dwibley

Member
Messages
21
Here are some more:

If public schools are private, why aren't private schools public?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?

Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why do tug boats push?

Why do you sit in the stands?

Why is phonics not spelt fonix?

Why is monosyllabic such a long word?

If you are dyslexic and cross-eyed should you be able to read OK?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it called a TV set when there's only one?
 

GraceK

Well-Known Member
Messages
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Dislikes
Marzipan
Insincere people
Big cities
Vulgarity
dwibley said:
Here are some more:

If public schools are private, why aren't private schools public?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?

Why do "flat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why do tug boats push?

Why do you sit in the stands?

Why is phonics not spelt fonix?

Why is monosyllabic such a long word?

If you are dyslexic and cross-eyed should you be able to read OK?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it called a TV set when there's only one?

:lol: :lol: :lol: ... crosseyed dyslexic ... the one about the glue bottle has got me thinkin :think: