I felt I had to write here - we met on another forum Vicky, it's good to see you. I write with honesty but it's from the heart - I saw that you have been tagged into a thread on binge eating so I'm coming at it from that angle x
I have had eating issues, I guess binge eating is the right description, my whole life. I still have these issues and as an addict, although I don't respond the way I used to, I know they are there with me all the time. If I let it, it can rule my life again. It's easily done and often there is no rational explanation, I can be feeling happy enough, but all of a sudden, I want to eat. I'm not hungry, but crave the sensation of different tastes, the sensation of immediate relief from the overwhelming urge to block out emotion - problem being it can be positive emotions as well as negative ones. Awareness of this is one of the key factors, that hunger isn't the issue, that satiety, a full stomach, doesn't make one feel better - it makes one feel worse.
There are no quick fixes and no magic cures, I wish there was. I do know that acknowledging this, taking on full responsibility for turning it around, lies with ourselves, no matter what else is happening in our lives. It would be great if we could look for help elsewhere, counselling, diet clubs, those that support us - but bottom line is that we know what we need to do. I won't use the word excuses because it's a cruel description and wrong, but I do use the word responsibility. If it's been a **** day and we eat crisps, biscuits, cakes, whatever..we then choose to not eat one after another, to say enough. I have seen me pour water in crisps to stop myself eating a family size packet of doritos, pour washing up liquid on a sandwich to stop myself eating another one. Some may say that this level of extreme measure needs psychological input but I disagree, it's just one way of controlling eating and an acknowledgement that I had eaten enough. I have never sought help because it's not needed, I'm an addict who happens to have an addiction of overeating. It's not important why, I could spend ages trying to find out why but if I then don't use that information to turn my situation around, then it's pointless.
I know your situation, your health issues and I understand and sympathise. But I believe that the yo-yoing with carbs and cals is making things worse for you, eating low carb with a fried brekkie then having setbacks with high carb is pushing the calorie level right up. I know about the careworkers but think you need to rethink your strategy, I am very much an advocate of a lower carb diet but not when you are struggling to stay on top of it, which I know you are xx
I'm going to be brave. I'm going to say that you need to look past the pain (amazing news on the swimming!), look past the issues with the careworkers, difficulty in getting the shopping, family problems and past problems and look to the way forward - I don't believe you will find it in meal replacement because I think you will find it impossible to stick to it - I couldn't have done it either. Be wary of subconsciously finding reasons to eat the stuff you know will add weight quickly. Be wary of using higher fat foods as a method of eating if you know at the back of your mind, you will easily slip up when out, or at home.
These aren't orders or criticism Vicky, just thoughts from somebody who has struggled too. I think a low calorie diet is what you need to be looking at, in the form of protein and veg. Only my thoughts.
Big hug and best wishes xx
