My much adored son (32) likes a drink every night and a bit of the old grass and he eats at about 10.00pm.
This drove his girlfriend mad and they have now split up as she didn't like his drinking and he got ****** off with her constant untidiyness.
Made it difficult for me as I could see both sides.
They both have new partners now and my son is going out with a girl who smokes a lot of grass and has the odd drink. Which my daughter in law didn't do. (She was a binger.Went out once a month and drank as many units as I do in a month.)
Alcohol has been very prevalent in my life as a young Mum years ago as my partner who I loved dearly,was an alcoholic. He drank 2 bottles of Vodka a day. He used to drink half a bottle to get himself 'into gear' first thing in the morning. Then he used to get in his car and drive to work as a builder. He never once had an accident and never acted like he had had a drink. He was always like that....
When we were younger he was a laugh when he had a drink.
As he got older he got morose... He was constantly accusing me of sleeping with other men (which I never did) and his treatment of me was appalling. Of course he could never remember what he had said the next morning...
When he was ill 3 of my girlfriends got in touch and said that when my son was little they had affairs with my partner. They asked me if I minded. I said that I had no idea but it didn't surprise me. I have since lost touch with them all. I have tried to find them on Facebook but to no avail.
It then made sense why he was always accusing me of bed hopping. He had done it many times himself....
Myself and my son managed to get him down to 1 bottle. Then in 1997 I had a brain haemorrhage. I survived and promptly had another soon after. I was in hospital for 3 months in all and when I got out I found out my partner was again on 2 bottles a day and because my life had changed so much (and I was bald) I decided I had to leave him.
Actually I missed something out. His stomach began to get larger and larger. His arms,legs and face were really skinny.Legs like sticks of spaghetti but he had this enormous stomach.
One night he became really unintelligible. More than usual so I called out the doctor who took one look at his stomach and said "Ascites".
"I give him 6 months".
This put myself and my son (then 16) into total shock.
My partner began to treat me VERY badly and he would stay in bed with the curtains shut. He slept erratically and if he ever slept at night (which was rare) I would sneak into the spare room to get a bit of much needed kip and he would get up and appear at the door and he had my largest sharpest knife in his hand and he would ask me to come back to bed. Of course I went. I was too scared not to.
The doctor (who was very unsympathetic towards my partner) said "You know he has a knife don't you?"
I replied "Yes" and left it at that.
My partner was taken to hospital and had all the fluid drained off. Something to do with your liver isn't it- Ascites?
27 litres was drained. He went in weighing 12 stone and came out weighing 7 1/2...Something like that.
He looked skeletal. And very ill.
The fluid built up again slowly and he was admitted again. This time he had 17 litres drained.
He never gave up drinking. I was to blame really as I was the one who went and got it from the corner shop. But if he didn't get it he would have made my life even more intolerable.
One day he wouldn't let me have my bag which had my purse,mobile phone in and when I tried to get it from him he lashed out and I fell and smacked my face on the doorframe. He didn't mean to do it as he was so ******... And dying. I had just come out of 2 open head surgerys and against all odds I survived and it must have been awful for him to see me getting stronger (or trying to)....
I went to the council ,explained what had been happening and they asked if I wanted him removed. I had a massive black eye and as much as I tried to say he didn't do it I don't think they believed me... They put me in B&B and said when he died I could return to my council house.
He lasted 5 years. He was a complete git the whole time. I left my son to look after him and my son didn't speak to me or return my daily texts which hurt a lot. In the mean time after 6 months in B&B I was given a lovely flat in a halfway house nowhere near where I lived.
He died in 2003 and it was his lungs which got him in the end. He had Emphasyma. His pancreas had dissolved and his liver was shot.
My son and myself hugged at his graveside and I moved back into my house in the country. My son moved in with his girlfriend and I was incredibly lonely and the house held so many bad memories so I rang the council and they suggested a flat. They said I would get £1,000 + £500 towards the removal fees.
I came to look at the flat and it was lovely. So I agreed to move and dumped 95% of my life in the back garden of my old house and paid the binmen £20 to take it all away. I didn't have a bed... Or a sofa or chairs. I just moved in with a few things and began my life again.
All I have now is what I need and nothing more.
It was cathartic ( Is that the word? ) dumping my life and starting from scratch....
I was left with a lot of bills that I couldn't pay so the £1,000 didn't go very far really....
Then in 2011 I was diagnosed with Emphasyma. I gave up smoking straightaway. Now I have Type 2 diabetes. I have fits linked with my brain and all the hardware they put in it to sort the haemorrhages. I have had a wet room fitted which is amazingly efficient. (My bath was deemed too dangerous in case I have a fit.) And I have a Lifeline alarm fitted in case I fit again.
I drunk a bottle of Rose everyday since I came out of hospital in 1997. I wasn't a regular drinker until then. I have been honest with my doctor about the amount that I drink and I have heard that folk halve the real amount when talking to their GP. I find that a slight worry.
I have halved it as wine and mineral water doesn't taste much different to be honest. So I am now down to 4 units a day. And I am sleeping much better. I noticed that straightaway....And it isn't exactly strong at 8% is it?
But it pains me that I still drink everynight. I have an alcohol support group near me in the small town where I live but I don't think I can bear to go. But the Type 2 diagnosis was a bit of a shock. But if I am sensible I can crack this and help my Emphasyma and my Type 2.
If.....
This is the first time I have recalled this in writing. I am feeling quite low at the moment and hope I haven't bored you but I felt a need to share....