son getting aggresive what to do???

[ams162]

so dylan has been getting very aggresive when hypo and im not sure what to do about it we have had football training tonight dylan has punched another boy in the face because they were arguing ive tested him after a dressing down and he was 3.2.

anyway my question how can i stop this besides the obvious of stopping the hypos of course generally he is not like this at all and have heard other people say they get aggresive when hypo.

help

 

[catherinecherub]

I'll bump this up for you in the hope that someone will reply.

 

[ebony321]

Hi,

i saw your post earlier and was hoping someone would comment with good advice.

It's very hard to explain how exactly you feel during a hypo, i have been agressive a few times, but only shouting and to be honest i really didn't realise i was doing it and i couldn't explain why i did it either, which was frustrating for me because i couldn't come up with a valid reason to the person i'd shouted at because just saying 'it was because my BG's were too low' made me feel like i was blaming it on diabetes.

I know you are trying hard to stop these hypo's but some are going to be enevitable, the lower you go when hypo will probably have an effect on if you becom aggressive or not. If you find Dylan is recognising hypo's lower and lower which result in aggressive behaviour it might be a good idea to think about letting his BG's run slightly higher to bring that hypo awareness back up so he is able to recognise them before he becomes aggressive.

It must be frustrating to Dylan to feel like this when he's hypo, it must be difficult for you as you know it wasnt completely his fault, but you also need to make sure he is responsible for his behaviour, hypo or not.

He needs to learn how to better control his emotions, encourage him to walk away from situations that may aggrevate him if he happens to be likely to hypo.

it really is difficult to know how to properly advise as you sometimes can't help what happens when your hypo, as sometimes it's like it's not you doing silly things, like i once made a full blown fancy sandwich when i knew i needed hypo treatment. I even had to go past the orange juice to get the bread!!

In no way do i mean to assume that you hadn't already but i hope Dylan apologised to the boy and it was explained that he was hypo at the time.

Maybe it's a good idea to monitor his BG's even closer near times he could hypo, such as football training and matches etc. Try and catch those hypo's before they get too low.

Hope some of this helps a little and maybe even prompts some responses

 

[josie38]

Apparently i get argumentative when i am hypo. I was at diabetic clinic once when my consultant asked if i ok and i said yes but she insisted on checking my bs which was low. She said i had been arguing with her for ten mins and hadn't realised.....fortunately she saw the funny side (if there was one) and still sees me but she does check my bs before to make sure!!!!!!

Is it possible, when he has finished playing, to test his bs straight away to try and avoid a situation? or possibly explain to him that eventually he will have to take responsibility for his own diabetes care so the testing needs to be done as soon as he has finished playing? Hope that makes sense!!

Let us know what happens

Josie

 

[jopar]

Ebony childrens bodies don't give the warning signals in the same manner as a adults will, it is extrememly for any child to pick up or regonise that symptom is a hypo warning, it's one of the things that makes controlling a childs diabetes very difficult..

Ams,

Yes some diabetics can become aggresive and unreasonable durning a hypo, but saying that one hypo can be different to the next, in the main my husband is just stupid normal going but we've had occasions when he's become quite combative durning a hyppo

About the only thing you can do apart from trying to avoid the hypo, is to monitor if any signs in the hope that you can pick up the hypo before he gets to the aggresive side stage of it, hope has he gets older and his body is more able to interpretate the signal/symptoms of his blood glucose levels getting low, he be able to avoid these situations himself..

 

[donnellysdogs]

TBQH, I believe that the only thing to do is to make sure that the adults around your son are aware of how aggression can strike when going hypo....it is a learning game for everyone around type 1's with insulin induced hypo's...... For the first time ever in almost 15 years I almost lashed out at my husband back in January (I didn't), but he certainly reminds me of the fact that I raised my hand as to lash out when hypo....

The thing to be quite honest, is: that unless you have ever experienced an insulin induced hypo yourself, you will NEVER really fully understand, or the public etc just that you can actually hear and repsond but nothing is right in your head....and unless you ever experience one, it is impossible to describe what happens inside our heads when hypo....I couldn't explain it after having 26 years of hypo's!!!!!

I think the best thing that you can possibly do is to make repsonsible adults aware of what can occur...and how to deal with it most effectively.......you may have to ask Dylan about this....becuase I say only from my own experience...that I hate people leaving me...I need someone with me if I have a bad hypo..and I need someone to coax me to and to stay with me without treating me like a bloody idiot.....I have had ambulance persons offer me a cigarette in exchange for taking milk and sugar...and for going to hopsital many, many years ago.......

Even children may need to know in a smaller manner....i.e go and get an adult....if Dylan appears argumentative.......

I am so sorry that you have had to experince this, but horribly so, it is part of being insulin depnedent......

 

[ams162]

hi and thanku all for ur replies the incident happened midway through training i had checked him before he started and he was 13.3 but had insulin to cover it still working as it wasnt long before he ate his tea 45 mins later he was 3.2 and this was just after the incident. i find it extremely hard as u explain he is low and isnt really aware of what is going on but it does sound like ur trying to excuse his behviour. he is very good at taking responsibility for his diabetes it was one of the things his school commented on in his school report that they are extremely impressed with.

yes ebony i got him out of the hypo and made sure he was ok then made sure he went and appologised to the child involved i appologised to the mum and today he has appologised to the coach who had to sort it out. when we got home last night i talked through it all with him and explained hypo or not he cant do that he must control his temper, the child in question is an in ur face type of child and they have had arguments before now so i encourage dylan to be away from this particular child but he does follow dylan around alot.

anyway i dont want to sound like im making excuses for him i have done everything i can to make the situation right and am embarrassed dylan did this just wondered how others managed hypos if they got aggresive

 

[donnellysdogs]

It is only my direct family that have only experienced a moderation of aggression when I have been hypo....so it is so, so, so hard as to what to say for any advice....

The only thing I believe that is possible to do is to tell the responsible adults, that adults with hypo reckon it to being very, very, very drunk.....with the way that your brain thinks...and then adults can relate to it better...as I expect the mjority have had the experince somewhere along the line....

From my experiences of hypo's. you cannot expect anything....despite explaining to Dylan etc...he will not be able to change whilst he is going hypo...our brains do not rationale like that under these circumstances....I wish I could stop crawling on the floor..but I can't...I wish I could stop screaming 'help me, help me., help me' but I can't....(these are serious hypo's!!!-and rare!!!).....

I really think that possibly the best way forward is to try and get him to recognise the hypo stage.......ask him afterwards if he had a headache before, or whether he felt different, or whether he wanted a piece of chocolate...the more times under the 4.5 level that you can catch him like this and ask him the better......

Even now....I do not think...'I am hypo'...but I do think....I need to test my blood.....the best time to make Dylan aware of this is to catch him around the 4-4.5 mark and ask him if he feeels any different...DON'T point out he is heading downward.....keep doing this.....

I believe that a child finds it very, very, very difficult to realise that they are hypo.....it can be hard as an adult!!!!!......just on a long term and short term basis...when he goes between 4-5...afterwards ask him how he felt.....

 

[ams162]

he knows what symptoms to look for as he has recognised the signs before but he doesnt always and this is when the trouble starts i guess it depends how fast he is dropping too to how quick u feel the signs, dylan doesnt know how to explain how he feels but he does know he doesnt feel right and im pretty good at spotting it too however from the other side of the football field its alot harder to spot as i notice it about his eyes first. the coaches are brilliant they had no option but to tell dylan off but understood he could do nothing about it its hard to explain to a load of 9 yr olds why dylan got like it. when dylan appologised to the coach today he said dont worry dylan its already forgotten but from a parents point of view u feel u have to do the talk even tho i know he could not stop what was happening

 

[josie38]

Hi ams,

Did you lower his basal rate for the match? Do u think this could help?

Im glad the coaches were brilliant about it.

Keep us posted hun xxxxx

Josie

 

[ebony321]

Sorry, i wasn't aware children didn't pick up hypo warnings like adults do.

Sounds like you did everything right in such a situation, it's clear that Dylan is a good kid, and this is clearly a one off due to low blood sugar, so hopefully the adults will know that it's out of character for Dylan.

i can imagine it is very difficult for other children to associate what happened with diabetes. But i can also imagine if the kid in question is a trouble maker then nobody will judge Dylan.

Keep striving to avoid those hypo's, i know exercise is tricky, test frequently and keep an eye on him where possible.

Also remember kids will be kids

 

[ams162]

usually i dont lower basal for training he seems to cope fine but does have a small snack after so he doesnt drop too much later but last night i dont know what made the difference, he is a puzzle but i love him dearly and wouldnt change him for the world.

thanku all for ur help and advice it does help having people understand, i dont know what i did before finding this site

 

[ebony321]

usually i dont lower basal for training he seems to cope fine but does have a small snack after so he doesnt drop too much later but last night i dont know what made the difference, he is a puzzle but i love him dearly and wouldnt change him for the world.

thanku all for ur help and advice it does help having people understand, i dont know what i did before finding this site

It may have been the fact he was angry? some people find emotions alter BG's, i think most find it sends them up, but i have seen some people say they find they drop. I believe there was a thread not long ago where a parent posted her little girl went low when she was upset so found it hard to sort of tell her off incase she got upset.

You can tell by the way you talk about Dylan that you love him unconditionally

I too was very very lost without this site, it does sort of fill a hole when you have somewhere to go to talk, ask questions etc.

 

[ams162]

i never feel judged i knew when i wrote this thread no one would say anything bad and that i would get support sometimes its hard to get other people to understand what ur trying to explain but on here someone has experienced the problem ur facing and understands the difficulties u go through.

 

[iHs]

Hi

In my time I've had loads of hypos - some at school, home and work. Each time I've gone hypo and needed a bit of help from someone else, I'm always extremely embarrased as I start to come back to normal.

What is happening now for Dylan is that he is growing up and is realising how humble hypos can make you. So because he feels embarrased, he starts to turn argumentative and nasty to those in immediate contact with him. Probably a teacher could have stepped in to help if they had been aware of the hypo and got Dylan to one side and quietly tell him that he was going a bit hypo and needed something sugary to lift him up but instead an argument broke out with the other kid who probably was as you say 'in your face'. What can you do.......... well not a lot really. Not sure if making Dyland apologise is going to make him feel any better about being diabetic. I think the best thing is to explain a bit more to the teachers on how to deal with hypos and to try and not make too much of a big thing of it. A quiet polite and discreet word always worked much better with me.

 

[ams162]

hi ihs thanks for the reply i appreciate getting him to appologise doesnt necessarily help dylan but he has hit another child and if someone hit dylan i would expect something, the other mother was understanding as was the coach and i felt in getting him to appologise sends the right message about violent behaviour and dylan understood why i made him say sorry.

we had a tournament today and none of the children or adults mentioned it so its all done and dusted just hope it doesnt happen to often thats all

 

[stoney]

Hi ams162

James has a similar reaction when hypo. His school mates know when not to rile him as he too can be aggressive even to the fact that he says "you won't like me when I'm angry" but I will say he does not turn green :lol: :lol:

He can also be stroppy with me as well especially if he wakes with a low reading, then it's a case of banging, clanging and stomping around.

I am sure you will work things out and Dylan will understand, and I am sure it can get to him when someone is in your face, you just want to sort them out just like any other peson (without diabetes) would want to do.

Best of Luck x

 

[donnellysdogs]

Must agree with IhS comments...I can do such stupid things when hypo....that it can be actually embaressing having to go back an apologise for something that you weren't aware of what you were doing........for example....I went hypo in specsavers years ago....I had not long moved.....when the paramedics were called they asked me if I had any famuily or friends here...I said no...(I did, but my husband was at work,,,and in my brain at the time I didn't want him disturbed. THe paramedics asked me again, and so I apparantly said I knew the estate agent....they contacted the estate agent, who contacted the solicitor who then contacted my husband......by which time I was totally recovered and was with the paramedics in a cake shop!!!!!!...I had to end up buying specsaver staff cream coughnuts and cakes, the estate agent staff flowers and cakes, and my solicitors staff wine and chocolates!!!!!.....

It is really hard having to apologixe for something that you are not fully aware of...and especially when you do not know 100% everything that happened.....

I can only hope that you and Dylan do not get too many instances of horrible hypo's but do believe firmly that friends, family and all responsible adults around Dylan can help to minimise the impact of these horrible episodes.....I too am the most mild person, but can get really agitated and awful by the time it comes to needing help from others......I really hope that you can minimise the effects of hypo's, and am very glad to read that persons around Dylan seem to have passed on beyond the incident....

 

[KimSuzanne]

I had this experience myself today, went out shopping and went from fine to blood being in the low 1s in seconds I didn't have time to catch it. Got very argumentative and very aggressive with my Mum, lots of people staring and a few comments about me being drunk.

I can tell only tell you from my experience that as soon as I get to that point I have to walk away from everyone and be allowed to eat in a place that is safe. I get confused and frustrated very easily, today was particularly bad and I think I may have punched someone if I'd been like this at his age. It is difficult to understand and even harder to deal with that your not in control at that point. As I said for me I know I need to eat but people talking to me and being in a public environment is really confusing, as other people have said make others aware of this and help your son to understand what is happening to him. If he sees the 'red mist' as my mum used to call it check the blood sugar.
Kim

 

[ams162]

i completely understand what ur all saying about the apologising but to the 9yr old boy dylan hit he didnt get why dylan hit him and to him he would of deserved an apology its very hard to balance whats right for dylan in this situation and whats right for a childs behaviour in a normal situation if that makes sense.