Specific parental skills

Pinson

Member
Messages
10
I would like to have your opinion on the following point: do you believe that us, parents of kids with T1D, need specific parental skills that may not be required with a child with no chronic condition? It is a question that I have been asking myself for a while, with no satisfying answer so far, so I thought I would pass it by you.
So far, I have gathered a few points :
1)love does not seem enough
2)my child who is 12 and has T1D, seems to need me to accompany him as a mentor, so I have been wondering what makes a good mentor...
3) Kids with T1D are kids first, and it occurs they have T1D. This means these kids have to become more responsible more quickly if this condition is going to be well managed.

Any thoughts or experience to share?

Cheers from Pinson
 

hanadr

Expert
Messages
8,157
Dislikes
soaps on telly and people talking about the characters as if they were real.
I've never experienced this, but I am a parent and grandparent.
As I see it, good parenting fulfills your child's specific needs. It could be learning difficulties, physical handicaps or chronic conditions.
You learn, you teach.
I was lucky, my 1 child is healthy and fairly bright. My grandchild is also healthy and VERY bright. I still find myself problem solving for my married adult daughter. I'm a parent! 8)
Hana
 

leggott

Well-Known Member
Messages
533
Hi, I have 2 children with diabetes. I found parenting challenging at times before their diagnoses. Now it's just a different set of issues. I certainly do believe that as a parent you have less time and freedom because you have to manage their condition and you are never really off duty.

I don't think in general you need specific skills, I do however believe that it changes your outlook on life and perhaps puts things into perspective a little. I have friends who get upset and bothered by things which now seem insignificant to me.

Leggott.
 

dot

Well-Known Member
Messages
66
My son is also 12 and T1. All you can do is be there for them when they need you. At 12 they should be old enough to grasp the fact that this is no-ones fault and that although you can't make it better, you are always there if they need you.

Interested in what you say about mentoring. I have found that my son doesn't really need to be followed too closely, despite only being 7 months diagnosed. Of course at first I worried about him, but now I know he gets through school days without me there, deals (physically) with all his own injections (although we do discuss BG levels and appropriate dose rates), and seem to be well aware of what he needs to do to deal with his condition.

I am very wary of wrapping him on cotton wool - he hates the idea of fussing about his T1 and we ae both determined that he shouldn't be prevented from doing anything because of it. Likewise, he doesn't want me hanging around watching over him all the time.

I think we have struck a fairly good balance, but perhaps I am just lucky that he has cottoned on to how this all works as well as he has, making life relatively simple for me. I trust him to look after himself (most of the time!)
 

SophiaW

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,015
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
I stay with my daughter for many of the activities she does out of school because in addition to her diabetes she also has other disabilities which make her less independent or as responsible as her peers. Although she physically can do the injections herself she is not yet confident enough to do it when she's on her own. She also seems to have lost some hypo awareness and if she's having fun she simply keeps going without recognising the signs. Most times I will identify she's hypo before she realises it herself. I have also found that some club organisers are very confident to learn about diabetes and take on the responsibility but other organisers seem afraid and unsure. When it is the latter I don't feel confident leaving Jess alone in their care and I also feel it's unfair on the organiser if they don't feel comfortable about the responsibility. Anything involving sport I tend to stay as this is when she's prone to going hypo.

Jess loves having me around as she has not reached the age or stage where she feels having mum around is uncool. But even still I try to blend in as best I can as I want to avoid anyone passing a comment that I'm simply there because Jess has something "wrong" with her. For Brownies I have volunteered as a parent helper, so although my main objective is to be there to keep an eye on her diabetes it would appear from an outsider's point of view that I'm simply a volunteer helper for all the children and not there for any other particular reason. I do a similar thing with her tennis lessons where I help the tennis coach with teaching all the children in the lesson. This means that I can keep an eye on Jess and deal with a hypo if it happens. I hope that by the time she no longer wants me to be there she will have taken over the responsibility of managing her diabetes and be more independent and aware once again of hypo symptoms.

When our children are not yet independent in managing their diabetes I think we as parents have to be very resourceful, be a positive thinker, and have good problem solving abilities to make things work as smoothly as possible and to avoid telling our children they can't do something because of their diabetes. I have had to become much more involved as a volunteer helper, it's been great fun actually and probably something I would have missed out on had it not been for Jess's T1. Some other things I've had to learn is to be a good communicator and learn alot about Diabetes so that I can explain it well to teachers and club leaders. I've also learnt a lot about food label reading and nutrition.