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Struggling accepting your diabetes?

Discussion in 'Type 1 Diabetes' started by catfish185, Jul 4, 2015.

  1. catfish185

    catfish185 · Newbie

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    Hey there,

    So I've had type 11 diabetes for over 11 years now, since I was a little 10 year old, and still to this day I get really angry about the fact that my body decided to turn against me and about being different.

    Granted I have had depression and a personality disorder since an early age but I was wondering if anyone else still experiences this feeling after so long or how you learnt to accept your condition?
     
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  2. RoscoJ

    RoscoJ Type 1 · Newbie

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    I accepted it and moved on with things when diagnosed. Had an issue with a hatred of needles for a month or so afterwards, but I let very little bother me so all was good with becoming a diabetic
     
  3. himtoo

    himtoo Type 1 · Well-Known Member
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    Hi catfish185
    welcome to the forum :)

    what you describe and @IceLover posted about to support you with similar feelings is fully described in the 5 stages of grieving.

    getting an illness such as Diabetes which lasts for the rest of your life is very much like dying -- you need to go through the same stages that one goes through when a loved one dies

    this may sound bizarre but trust me it is completely true-- my doctors explained all this to me 43 years ago at diagnosis

    as a diabetic you keep revisiting these stages and learning how to get to stage 5 -- acceptance is a big part of coping with this disease

    here is a link to what I am talking about
    http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

    you( or anyone ) can message me if you want to talk about it more
     
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  4. bumblebee95

    bumblebee95 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hello I was diagnosed 11 years ago too aged 9 years old. At the beginning there was a novelty, I was very open to the changes that were occurring in my life, I dunno if this sounds stupid but I began to feel special...
    Then once I started taking care of myself I started to feel the huge burden of diabetes, I questioned how my life could be so different without it, how I could be normal. This normality had become an obsession. I discovered ways of manipulating my diabetes and started to do this, I was so fed up going into dka a lot of the time. Diabetes, I felt had ruined me.
    Now I am 20 and I still feel a little pitiful. Diabetes has been babied down so much to my family and friends that they think it is a mere injection and then over and done with. They do not realise that it is so much more than that
    And the notion of us 'leading a perfectly healthy life' as reiterated by diabetes care teams is superficial for a lot of us

    Take care and apologies for the esay, I had a lot to say :angelic:
     
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  5. bumblebee95

    bumblebee95 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Having said that, speaking to people, diabetics who just get it, get all of your anxieties, helps you slowly come to terms with it. It's a comforting thought that you are not the only one who feels like this.
     
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  6. kndjy

    kndjy Type 1 · Newbie

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    This my second post, having never posted before.

    I appreciate all that has been said. Luckily, or not, I was 16 when I was diagnosed so have not had to deal with it from such an early age. All I would say is that, in my experience you have will have a repeat of the feeling sorry for yourself (I do NOT mean this in any kind of derogatory way, it's what I still suffer from) for the rest of your life or being cured. There is no easy way to deal with this:

    Why me?
    What have I done?
    When was I so bad?
    I have always been good!
    I have never been nasty!
    I am always so nice!

    Not to decry anyone's religious beliefs but your are NOT being punished! It's a bit like the lottery, you just happened to get a bad set of numbers (or genes). You need to remember for all the **** it dishes out you are still pretty unique as a IDDM - there are approximately 150,000 of us in the UK out of a population of 63,000,000! How many of your friends/family/workmates/fellow students are so UNIQUE! I would suggest very few...

    Having been IDDM for 31 years I have only meet 5 other diabetics - other than through clinics. One of these was my brother who only lasted 2 years! I have had issues of guilt as to why a newly diagnosed diabetic died when I had had it for 12 years, at that time. However, this does not achieve anything and as my parents told me, eventually, I need to live my own life. They "allowed" me to move to London leaving the rest of the family in Edinburgh. They accepted that regardless of distance, should my time be up, it would be immaterial how close they were to me!

    Being down about our condition is only natural but as I said you are fairly unique! You will end up with a very supportive partner - you'll soon get rid of the idiots who don't get it! You have a family/friends (some will be unable to handle it - their loose not yours!) who will be supportive & understanding (moods are a nightmare!).

    Finally, what always gives me a kick up my backside it to remember going to an IDDM check up at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary after 5 years of diagnosis. I was on the bus, coming in from the countryside, and this family got on a few stops after me. This young kid, no more than four, was running about having a laugh and just enjoying himself in an un-annoying way. Just before I (we, as it turned out) was about to get off his hat feel off - he was undergoing chemotherapy and didn't have a care in the world! Why was I a 21 year old, about to get his first flat, feeling sorry for myself? This kid may not even get to my age or even my diagnosis age!

    However, low or down you get, remember there is, without fail, someone worse off than you, for whatever reason that may be. It's perhaps not the best cure but it works for me when I am on a downer.

    Take care of yourselves and following instructions, most of the time, usually ensure your levels are normal and you can life a fairly normal life. My only issue with this is CARBS - cut them down ALONG with you insulin and you should find life/complications easier. I have only felt well when removing them - rice, pasta, bread, pizza, potatoes including crisps, - eat lean meats, veg (lots have little to low carbs) & fruit (which are usually higher in carbs but satisfy a sweet tooth - a diabetics worse nightmare). Add nuts - not ready salted peanuts - for a a bit of savoury taste. Or mix them all to suit you - steaming veg in a Microwave only takes a couple of minutes...

    I hope my honesty hits home and NOT aid your upset...
     
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  7. Patch13

    Patch13 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I think it took me about 10 years to finally accept it. I think my main problem was being frustrated with not feeling in control of my own body- I would have high and low swings which made me feel rubbish and very tired. I would be moody and irritable and everyone else around me thought the only thing I had to do was inject and everything was fine (don't get me wrong my family are caring, but they didn't have to put up with high and low sugar levels etc).
    I also had some bouts of depression which made me feel worse, which made me eat more, which made my sugar levels worse and made me feel worse - and so the cycle continued!

    The thing that helped me the most (this is my personal experience and I recognise that it isn't what everyone wants to do) is going on a very low carb diet. I found my blood sugar swing less, my hba1c is massively better and I then feel less frustrated / scared about the future. Also due to my blood sugars being less erratic I also find I feel better mentally (sure at times I will still feel a little down, but nothing like before).

    Don't get me wrong, I still have days of frustration - some days I need to adjust my basal due to the weather, hormones, exercise, alcohol, illness, etc, but usually I manage to find a reason for the change in my sugar levels and knowing there is a reason helps me to feel more in control and less irritated.

    I hope you find your acceptance soon
     
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  8. Robcz

    Robcz Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    What a great forum where people can write about their experiences, and be open about them....Thumbs up to you guys!
    Thinking back to the age of 5 when I first got the dreaded big D..... I now feel more sorry for my mum having to deal with diabetes.....Bless her xx
    I would like to say one thing that made me the way I am, and the person I am now.....And that was always being told by (Doctors mainly), that if I did not take care of myself I would go blind, or loose a limb etc. I think that really disturbed me (Not depressed), And as I got older I was, and still am, trying to live life to the full before something like that happens..... Being told as a young kid that your life has nothing to look forward to was hard to swallow.....But! Look at me now....I'm still here :) All that worry for nothing.....
     
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  9. Kasiek

    Kasiek · Newbie

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    Hi there. My daughter has been diagnosed with type 1 two years ago. She was only 2 and half years on. I felt I have to be positive and stay strong for her. I was. After 2 years I have started to be angry and have been depressed. She is going to reception from September. 490 children in her school, no one with diabetes. I feel it's not fare. Why my daughter. Strangling sometimes with emotions. Obviously I don't show these feelings to my princess. She has accepted her diabetes immediately, I think it's different with younger children. She is not afraid of injections, very brave strong little person. I do everything what I can to maintain good blood sugar levels. It's not easy. Stay positive!!! We all have better and worse days!!! But we have to stay strong!!! My husband has been diagnosed when he was 11years old. I met him 18 years ago. I love him and our daughter so much!!! Good things also happens, take care.
     
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  10. NowClosed11

    NowClosed11 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    5 stages of rubbish ..sorry ..have read it many times and the dam thing just makes me more angry
    Work that one out lol
    Sorry grumpy mood
     
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  11. himtoo

    himtoo Type 1 · Well-Known Member
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    hi Mr Bloominggrumpy
    welcome to the forum :)
    some people are unable to get past their anger at the diagnosis -- this is not uncommon for many people -- not just D's getting to grips with the disease.
    if your avatar is anything to go by that might be a clue - LOL

    you only need to read the post before yours by @Kasiek to grasp the meaning of the 5 stages - it gets repeated over and over throughout life

    message me if you want and i will try to help -- D is a part of me but it does not define me
     
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  12. babyboscher

    babyboscher Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I haven't accepted mine yet and I've been diabetic for 10 years since I was 8.
     
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  13. gillkin

    gillkin Type 1 · Active Member

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    I don't think it's a case of accepting, I think it's more, you have no choice so get on with it. If you spend all of your time thinking oh woe is me, rather than this is my life so I have to do the best I can to make it the best it can be, you'll be miserable your whole life.
    The last 47 years since I was diagnosed at the age of four haven't been all plain sailing but nobody's life is, you just make the most of the good times and get through the bad ones.
     
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  14. himtoo

    himtoo Type 1 · Well-Known Member
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    Hi gillkin
    your post is actually the definition of acceptance -- getting on with it :)

    that is what many struggle to do - actually just get on with it -- they need (our) support and guidance to help them achieve the acceptance
     
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  15. becky.ford93

    becky.ford93 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    If it makes you feel any better, my Mum broke down a few days after I was diagnosed. It was so weird seeing my Mum upset, she's always the one telling me to stop being silly! You're doing an amazing thing, and you're right, its not fair. But there are worse things than diabetes and I try to remember that :)
     
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  16. teacher123

    teacher123 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    As a young person, it's difficult to understand why it's happening to you, why is my body not producing insulin etc and I can't have a normal life anymore. But, that's not true...I'm still running, still cycling, still walking mountains and I know there are many ups and downs with it all but as @becky.ford93 there are worse things than diabetes. Plus, when you are in the diabetic ward or you listen to other diabetics tell of people losing limbs because of diabetes then that puts the fear in me. I ask myself the question, am I really going to be that careless and end up like that? Definitely not. You've done brilliant for 11 years and you will continue to be an inspiration to those around you :)
     
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  17. Juicyj

    Juicyj Type 1 · Expert
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    You know what ever your feeling just write it down, talk about it, do whatever you can to get it off your chest, I have a theory about people and emotions that we are like pressure cookers, when something's boiling us up making us mad we need to talk about it, it doesn't do any good to keep it inside otherwise you will turn on yourself and this is where your own care and management can start to fail.

    I have only been diagnosed 3 years but have accepted it, I think my age helped as i knew there wasn't anything I could do about it so I just had to get on with it, i've had some tough times, but that's only to be accepted. My sanity has been saved by talking about it and also learning as much as I can about food, nutrition and eating low carb so I have better BG control, less insulin, less room for error and less erratic highs and lows which made me feel low.

    For each one of us it's finding what works for you and what helps get you through the day ;)
     
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  18. barbarapreston

    barbarapreston Type 1 · Member

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    Hello everyone,I was diagnosed 61 years ago at the age of 10, just 6 months after sweets came off ration! I accepted it as I thought it was better than Polio or TB which were both prevalent at the time.You don't know how lucky you are to be able to use a new needle for each injection and get a blood sugar reading immediately.My needles were thick and had to last for many injections,blood sugar tests were done at hospital and took many days for the results to come.Very few sugar free items were available then .Roses lime juice was the only drink that I remember and it was expensive.Diets were strict and everything had to be weighed,some things to a 1/4 ounce.The Diabetic Association used to run 2 week camps for children over 10 years of age and I can remember going to a few all over the UK.Local councils used to pay for the camps, I can't see that happening now.!I am still well and haven't let Diabetes spoil my life but got on with it and enjoyed myself.I have received the 60 year medal from Diabetes UK .but am aiming for the 70 one now.!
     
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  19. azure

    azure Type 1 · Expert

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    I've been diagnosed for 21 years. I was extremely angry at first. I thought it was unfair. My mum said the usual "There are plenty of people worse off than you" but at first that just annoyed me too. I wanted to say "Yes, I know that, but this is still CR*P!" But after a while, remembering that did help a bit.

    I don't think I'll ever accept diabetes. Partly because I see accepting it as almost 'giving in'. D is an extremely unwelcome guest at my party and I'm not going to accept them. However, I wanted to get on with my life, so to do that I needed to move on and not brood over diabetes or let the daily grind of it get me down.

    I do that by focussing on getting my BS as good as I can. That way I can convince myself that I'm 'winning' against diabetes.

    I've also found this forum very helpful. It's such a relief to speak to other people who know what it's like, and can offer help and advice whatever problem you have. You're not alone here.
     
  20. Robcz

    Robcz Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I am just coming down from a hypo.....a wonderful feeling of twitching! With my eyes wondering from left to right...... I don't know why I am writing this while I am feeling so bad...but we are lucky to be here!! Today I read a thread about a man wanting to die because of diabetes.....I hope this man finds his way.....but in away, I I see his point....I also do not want to see past 60......I have had a good life and if I die tomorrow I would not care.......accepting diabetes is a choice.. life or death....sorry I have to go....need some coke.....sorry!
     
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