T1 Males unlucky in love.

Quoting myself "I would only hide something to protect someone else." (I aint worked out how you do that fancy quote thing "

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although ED is one of my big fears of DB i have to remind myself it is the most treatable. so i'm thinking by the time i have to use it (hopefully never) i will defo be with a long-term partner, and i'll be in a steady job and probably only have sex at scheduled sorta time lol, so i'll be prepared!

+ i'm not too worried about passing on the genes to my children cos they probs wouldn't get it and if they did by then there'll be a 'closed loop pump' or a cure.

tony if you practice law, i'm sure there's loadsa women who'd be interested in you. i assume there's some dollar in it. + if things go bad when you're older you'll have the retirement to remove the burden from your partner. i'm not saying your relationship will be built on money but it might put you on par having DB.

i keep trying to think that the treatment will only get better so if i look after myself well enough for long enough when the improvements come i'll never get the comps. so don't miss you injections.

all best,
howie

Honestly, tony.
Get yourself sorted first.

You really need to come to terms with this diagnosis. Diabetes really isn't that bad, and women honestly don't care about it.
But you won't believe that, until you can accept it.

The problems won't disapear, but they will be a hell of a lot less when you realise that there is nothing to be gained by hiding it, and women won't reject you for it.
I really would reccomend finding a good greif councellor. You're greiving for your health, and that oh-so perfect life you thought you'd have.

Gawd, what a nasty cliche, but no-one will love you until you love yourself :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

-hugs- It sux. But you're not alone, and you can still do everything / one you want :twisted:

Hehe

ha same for me! My work is quite strict and we cannot access a lot of thing on the internet... however this site is allowed... l take that as a sign

No, you don't need your head testing. Seems like it's in damm good working order.
You just need to talk to someone about this.
As people, we've lost thge fact that actually being able to listen to someone is something very valuable. Fiends can help a lot, but someone who can kind of understand what you're going through, and can help you with the mess i think would be good for you.

I was a mess when i found out, but i was only 9. Kids are much more flexible and accomodating in some ways.
Here - sending invisible internet carb free cookie for you :lol:
-hugs-

Agh, sorry I posted twice everyone! I mistakenly thought my first did not appear! So sorry to dominate the board and bore you all!

I think women care not so much about what disease you have got but about your attitude to caring for yourself, managing your disease etc.

If a woman can see that you don't care for yourself, that you skip injections or that you aren't comfortable with your own disease, then it may well be that at some subconscious level you indicate to her that you won't be an easy person to settle down with. It might suggest to her that you are looking for a 'mother-figure' to care for you rather than an equal partner.

Anecdotally, my brother is Type 1, he looks after himself, exercises a lot, doesn't eat junk food, doesn't smoke or drink and injects when he should. He has landed a kind, stunning, smart, cultured and loaded woman. She doesn't have a problem with my brother's diabetes.

My dad is on insulin for Type 2, he doesn't take care of himself, eats junkfood and loads of carbs, misses injections, doesn't self-test, rarely exercises, doesn't want to learn about diabetes and sticks his head in the sand (in spite of ready access to my copy of Dr Bernstein). My mum sticks with him because she loves him but if she'd known 30 years before that that's how he'd approach his future disease, I'm not sure that she'd have been so attracted to him in the first place.

WRT to the ED issue, I can understand that from a man's perspective ED must be soul destroying. But from a woman's perspective it is worth bearing in mind that their are plenty of ways to please your woman that don't involve your penis (worth studying up on this for the many intervening years before you get ED!!)

goji said:

He has landed a kind, stunning, smart, cultured and loaded woman

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Wonder if that might work the other way around too... fingers cross.. ha do those type of men exist... (sorry joke!!) :wink: :roll:

I had the same thoughts as you being a fairly new (ish) beeties sufferer.. Thought that no one would want me with the potential complications.. But you know what, there are those REAL people out there who will love you so much that no matter what happens they will be around to help you out and offer you any support that you might need..

Just give yourself some time and keep your eyes peeled for your Miss Right.. She's out there and you know what, probably looking for you too..

I found my man at my place of work, call that luck! He is a total star with coping with me being a sweaty grouch when I'm having one of those bad moments...

All seems a bit cliche but things will work out - positive thinking! Now its Friday, go out and party hard (but in moderation ha ha) :lol:

Good luck
Weeza x

TonyTruthful said:

T1 is very, very rarely influenced by genes, mostly in the african descent population.

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So what does this mean - because I'm T1 with no family history of it and got it probably through environmental factors, (which I'm pretty much certain) is there no real chance of me passing it on?

But if my dad had T1 and my granddad had T1 would this be different?

Tony

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Err, that's wrong surely? The chances of offspring developing T1 are increased if one parent is T1, and greatly so if both are T1?

I do think environmental factors are exactly the triggers for genes to adapt and develop, although possibly not always in a good way? Also called evolution, survival of the fittest etc. I think I'll stop now, this could get awkward...... :wink:

tony, like you i'm convinced my T1 was triggered by environmental factors but, but susceptibility is usually in our genes. apparently its whether you're born with HLA markers, i got no family history but 90% of T1 don't, maybe it's been there locked up for years but personally i think i probs wouldn't have HLA markers and i was just unlucky enough to get it after a traumatic period.

i would guess that would make me less likely to pass on the gene than people who got it under normal circumstances and also people who have a strong family history, but then again who knows what triggers peoples T1, could have been the shock from tripping up in the playground at school as a child or getting stressed out with someone pushing in the cue at mc donald's.

just in case i'm not gonna have kids till the' closed loop pump' or 'smart insulin' is released, but that suits me cos i don't plan on kids for another 10 years. from what i've read the risk isn't that high.

howie

Hi people.

Just reading this post. I am new to the group and I have had T! for 29 yrs. Yes I have had problems like anyone else but I have never had a problem with getting girlfriends. It is all about Love and finding someone who loves you back who you trust. I have never found Diabetes to be an issue in finding a partner and I, like many other Diabetics have complications such as Sleep Apnoea and other things and they have never been a problerm.

Maybe TT is having an hypo, :wink: . By the way, what is ED? I hope I haven't got that as well :lol: .

Nice to meet you ALL!!!


Wayne

My first post also!

ED = http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erectile_Dysfunction :wink:

Ive been in a relationship for 7 years and i can honestly say my type 1 diabetes is an absolute non-event. Its not a concious "thing" that causes problems and sits in the back of everyones minds waiting for them to judge you, its just something you have to learn to get on with!

As has been said many times, if that certain someone you meet does have that calculating personality you have described, they're not worth a second of your time anyway IMO.

Type 1 diabetes is becomming more and more socially accepted as just another condition people have to deal with through life, like asthma for example.

The view you should get out of a potential partner about the condition is one of interest. Most people i have met are eager to learn more about it, rather than just being satisfied by the common misconception that you take insulin if you feel "funny" regardless of whether you are hypo or hyper.

I can also say that in love, luck has nothing to do with it :wink: