Teenage son won't do his insulin

Davidcharles

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14
Type of diabetes
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Insulin
Has he been to clinic since having the pump removed? Is he continuing to keep his appointments?
Yeah I toke him to clinic we can't make all appointments as the clinic is 30miles away and I have to take time off work . This isn't a problem for me but he has to take the time for his work to . He is in transition from youth clinic to adult clinic same team just different building . Unfortunately we missed his last appointment as a simple fact I could not park anywhere near as building work was being carried out but I'm hopping to get him to clinic soon and il explain everything to them
 

slip

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3,523
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simple fact I could not park anywhere near as building work was being carried out

wow! I'm sorry but that is, as far as I'm concerned, a poor excuse not to go, especially as your boy is having trouble - I would have at least dropped him at the clinic and said go in and be seen and I'll find some where else to park and catch you up.

I know it probably isn't as simple as that but I can only take what you say at face value so please don't be offended or upset at my comment we are all here to help you out of a difficult situation. ;)
 

Marie 2

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As a couple of people have suggested, If he will even wear a Libre, that really might help. You would need to find out first if he is even willing though. But I remember the fixation with watching it at the beginning and what it was doing. I still am with my current CGM! But maybe that would get him interested again?
 

Juicyj

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Sorry to hear about your son's issues @Davidcharles what an awful position for you to be in as a parent.

Maybe see if you can get him to join here, maybe talking to other type 1's will help him open up ? It's an isolating condition and with pressures of teenage years, new job and great upheaval, talking would help, but of course if you can get him to talk more about what's going on, I find the easiest way to have difficult conversations is to go for a walk, it's non confrontational as you walk side by side and can feel less judged, maybe if you can find out what's going on internally then you can work through this.
 
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Lulu9101112

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Just wondering is there a reason he’s doing it? Like has he been bullied or had comments at his school, college or work or both?
During my school years I rarely controlled my diabeties due to being the only Diabetic and just didn’t fit in and also used to get bullied for it. I had a reason but eventually I decided to go back as I kept getting violent and creating damages to the point it caused a couple of issues with security/police becuse it was affecting my behaviour and causing me to take it out on people I don’t like, as I was always high, However I ended up talking to someone and that made it better and am still working on getting it back on control
 

Harry potter1

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Hi if you don’t trust your son to do his own insulin you should invest in the Dexcom system because the CGM has the ability to connect to other devices so you can watch his blood sugar.
 

Diakat

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Hi if you don’t trust your son to do his own insulin you should invest in the Dexcom system because the CGM has the ability to connect to other devices so you can watch his blood sugar.
Libre link allows similar viewing on other devices. However being able to see that insulin is not being taken is not quite the same as finding a solution to the issue.
 

Grant_Vicat

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Hi not sure what to do my son is 17now and has had type 1 for many years . We have had ups and downs over the years with injection and pump . At the moment he is on injection but thinks he knows better when he's low or high but he is running high all the time . Unfortunately he is full of attitude towards his diabetes we have many arguments and it just courses upset all round . I'm at a lose as now I'm watching my son slowly kill himself but he just doesn't care
Hi @Davidcharles Reading this makes me realise what my parents must have gone through. I was diagnosed at 11 months and like your son, began to push The Monster away, especially in my teenage years. The following starts when I was about your son's age:
I have no recollection of any hypos while I was at senior school, probably because I was poorly controlled throughout my time there. One of the doctors at Southlands Hospital, Shoreham-by-Sea, wrote to me saying:
Dear Grant,
Further to your visit to the Diabetic Clinic last week, I have noted that your blood sugar was 26mmol again, which I feel is rather high.

At the time I was affected by a teenage resentment of my condition, ignoring outside opinion, and completely lacking any awareness of the significance of any information. As I write this [in 2009] I can see all kinds of interference on the computer screen caused by retinopathy: I am unable to keep my hands steady (not because of alcohol); and I am aware that my kidneys are struggling to survive. All this was wrapped up in those few words in the above letter. Throughout my life I have been regularly reminded, either through personal contacts, diabetic journals, visits to clinics, or through books, that all diabetics run these risks and that the condition, if unmanaged, can be fatal. Why is it that teenagers happily (?) ignore these warnings? On several occasions in the last thirty years I have been contacted by doctors, asking me whether I would be prepared to talk to a sixteen year old who is ignoring advice. Of course I would. Could they get in touch with me? On each occasion, nobody has telephoned. I think at this stage in life, when hormones are unruly, faces look like Spotted **** with a hairy frame, girls (or boys) are worryingly important, sexuality is uncertain, parents are a bloody menace and so on, the last thing a person needs is an uncomfortable label. I never wanted to talk about it. I’ve more than made up for it now. I have been able to manage The Enemy far more effectively since I have been prepared to discuss it. But, even at the age of twenty this can be daunting.

Your son is going through the same process as millions have before. By the time I reached 20 I had bleeding in my eyes and my kidneys had started a slow downhill path until I had to have a kidney/pancreas transplant 6 years ago. I still have good eyesight and only wear reading glasses. Since 2013 I have not been allowed to run, hop, skip or dance because of Charcot foot, a condiotion that can result in diabetes that can cause your foot or ankle to collapse.
I was 21 when this occurred:
During one of my ophthalmologist's consultations in my second year he asked me about my life. I told him that I was living in Kensal Rise; that I cycled into King’s College in the Strand every day; that I played squash; and that I drank moderately (I’m sure he didn’t fall for this). His response was that I should stop burn-ups on the Edgeware Road, that I should avoid squash, moderate my alcohol intake, and that I should shun aerobic exercise or anything that would make me red in the face. If I did not heed his words, I would be blind by the time I reached twenty-three.
“Thank you” I said. “Do you realise that in one sentence you have ruled out all the finer points of living?”

The reason I have included all this is so that you might feel better about your son's future even though he appears not to care. I'm sure he does, but he feels angry, yet safe to shout at his nearest and dearest. I hope he will adjust himself abruptly when it dawns on him that there is really only one path to take. Good luck
 
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Jamby45

Newbie
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3
Hi not sure what to do my son is 17now and has had type 1 for many years . We have had ups and downs over the years with injection and pump . At the moment he is on injection but thinks he knows better when he's low or high but he is running high all the time . Unfortunately he is full of attitude towards his diabetes we have many arguments and it just courses upset all round . I'm at a lose as now I'm watching my son slowly kill himself but he just doesn't care
 

Jamby45

Newbie
Messages
3
Hi not sure what to do my son is 17now and has had type 1 for many years . We have had ups and downs over the years with injection and pump . At the moment he is on injection but thinks he knows better when he's low or high but he is running high all the time . Unfortunately he is full of attitude towards his diabetes we have many arguments and it just courses upset all round . I'm at a lose as now I'm watching my son slowly kill himself but he just doesn't care
 

Jamby45

Newbie
Messages
3
Hi my Grandson was diagnosed December 2019 Type1 he was 12 years old. He came to live with me in March 2020 because he wasn't taking insulin or doing his blood sugars. His Mum was working long hours and he was down in the dumps.
As I was always home I thought it best I take on the task of trying to change his view and help him to see that if he did all the things he was asked to do by his Diabetes team he would see what a difference it would make to his life.

Its been so hard I've cried, shouted and got mad, then the guilt started. Of course I'm his Grandma not his Mum so I am more soft with him so I had to toughen up somewhat which I didn't like but it was necessary I now know.

The battles have been many, i tell myself I have to win for his sake. He as lied to my face, made excuses, I very nearly sent him home at one point. I told him if he was to stay with me then he had to start taking his bloods and insulin in front of me, if not he had to go home to his Mum as I wasn't going to allow him to be hospitalised or have an amputation, or do dialysis because his kidneys had packed up.

Well after a few battles more we are in a much better place. I'm still watching him take his insulin and him take his bloods all his well. He as changed so much since being diagnosed, angry, banging about and soon gets upset. I always remember him before being diagnosed always smiling, happy very loving. I know his age and hormones would change him but the Diabetes flattened his spirit. This led me to believe that was why he was so angry and in his own way he stopped taking insulin didnt do bloods to hit back. I explained to him time and time again. "You can embrace your Diabetes and take care of everything that keeps you in good health and live a great life with a few annoying things, or carry on your way suffer with possibly having amputation or failed kidneys, ulcers, tooth loss"
So far so good but I will not be taking anything for granted.
 

Andydragon

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3,323
Type of diabetes
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Hi my Grandson was diagnosed December 2019 Type1 he was 12 years old. He came to live with me in March 2020 because he wasn't taking insulin or doing his blood sugars. His Mum was working long hours and he was down in the dumps.
As I was always home I thought it best I take on the task of trying to change his view and help him to see that if he did all the things he was asked to do by his Diabetes team he would see what a difference it would make to his life.

Its been so hard I've cried, shouted and got mad, then the guilt started. Of course I'm his Grandma not his Mum so I am more soft with him so I had to toughen up somewhat which I didn't like but it was necessary I now know.

The battles have been many, i tell myself I have to win for his sake. He as lied to my face, made excuses, I very nearly sent him home at one point. I told him if he was to stay with me then he had to start taking his bloods and insulin in front of me, if not he had to go home to his Mum as I wasn't going to allow him to be hospitalised or have an amputation, or do dialysis because his kidneys had packed up.

Well after a few battles more we are in a much better place. I'm still watching him take his insulin and him take his bloods all his well. He as changed so much since being diagnosed, angry, banging about and soon gets upset. I always remember him before being diagnosed always smiling, happy very loving. I know his age and hormones would change him but the Diabetes flattened his spirit. This led me to believe that was why he was so angry and in his own way he stopped taking insulin didnt do bloods to hit back. I explained to him time and time again. "You can embrace your Diabetes and take care of everything that keeps you in good health and live a great life with a few annoying things, or carry on your way suffer with possibly having amputation or failed kidneys, ulcers, tooth loss"
So far so good but I will not be taking anything for granted.
Well done for trying so hard to support him. It must be so tough

I don’t know if it’s the same for type 1s but for me high blood sugars do make me angrier. Maybe that’s part of it?
 

faychesters

Newbie
Messages
1
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
I understand this is worrying and frustrating for you but maybe if you look for a different angle, although he’s not managing it as well as he should, he is still taking some insulin on his terms. If he’s eating icing sugar and Nutella with a spoon being type 1 without insulin he’d be hospitalised seriously unwell. I know it’s not brilliant but if he’s doing the bear minimum that’s better than nothing at all. It sounds like, from the other type 1s here, wanting better control and health will come with a few more years under the belt. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.... as the saying goes, if as parents you make sure he has all the medication, supplies and equipment available to him, you can’t make him manage the diabetes.
I've been going through the same thing with my 15 year old daughter for the last 2 year .I've tried everything I can think of with no luck .I can't keep watching her do this to herself anymore checking to see if she still breathing every morning.Is there anywhere I can go to get her or me some help before it's to late .
 

lovinglife

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I've been going through the same thing with my 15 year old daughter for the last 2 year .I've tried everything I can think of with no luck .I can't keep watching her do this to herself anymore checking to see if she still breathing every morning.Is there anywhere I can go to get her or me some help before it's to late .
Hi @faychesters & welcome to the forum

Teenagers can be a worry can’t they, this is quite an old thread and the member you quoted hasn’t been on the forum since 2019 so you probably won’t get a reply. If you like you can start your own thread with your questions, you may get more replies that way .

I’m T2 diet only so can’t help with your question really, but have you spoken to your GP or your daughters HCP team to see if she’s eligible for counselling? We have a good few T1 members who have been diagnosed since very young and they’ve been through it and lived to tell the tail. I’ll tag a couple of them for you off the top of my head @EllieM @Nicola M @Jaylee
 
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EllieM

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I've been going through the same thing with my 15 year old daughter for the last 2 year .I've tried everything I can think of with no luck .I can't keep watching her do this to herself anymore checking to see if she still breathing every morning.Is there anywhere I can go to get her or me some help before it's to late .
I am so sorry your daughter and you are going through this @faychesters .

If it's any consolation I lived through my teenage pre glucometer T1 years with awful control (I used to inject the standard amount of insulin but ate far too much for it, which made me feel extremely ill on occasions) , and have now survived 54 years of T1 with all my limbs and organs still functioning.

I take it you have spoken to your team about this? How long has she been T1?

And I guess a relevant question here is whether she is skipping insulin to lose weight (aka diabulimia). This article here from the UK diabetes charity might help if that is the case?
 

Nicola M

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I'm 27 now, I've had diabetes since I was 1 years old and my control through childhood was pretty decent up until I was about 16 and from then on it just never really got better and up until 2021 my HbA1c was horrendous at 78 but I also struggle greatly with depression and I was officially diagnosed at 18 although definitely struggled beforehand but that was definitely a contributing factor as to why my control was so poor.

The major turning point for me and I know this isn't an option for everyone at the moment was going onto a Hybird closed loop system. It's hard especially as a teenager, you can't always do the things your friends are doing and you aren't "normal" (what even is normal anyway?!) and it's definitely tough and as much as I know as a parent you want her to do better there is no point in forcing anything because she will just rebel and do the complete opposite.

I'd definitely see if you can speak to your team, whilst I was struggling I saw my diabetic nurse at the hospital more frequently (every month or so) and she was able to put plans of action into place that we would go over and work towards goals each time I went back. I'd also look into whether they offer a diabetic psychologist in your area, in my area we have one of those and they specialise in diabetes and my time with my psychologist was extremely beneficial.
 

Grant_Vicat

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I've been going through the same thing with my 15 year old daughter for the last 2 year .I've tried everything I can think of with no luck .I can't keep watching her do this to herself anymore checking to see if she still breathing every morning.Is there anywhere I can go to get her or me some help before it's to late .
As my post #48 above is aimed at giving hope to very worried parents of teenagers ignoring their diabetes, I hope it will help you consider that "too late" is maybe not so close in your daughter's life. It is worth remembering that treatment was very hit-and-miss in the 1970s when I was a teenager and yet I am still able to read, drive a car and have nothing missing. In fact I gained a transplanted pancreas and kidney in 2013. Even that is remarkable since I first showed signs of kidney problems exactly 40 years earlier. Deterioration was very gradual after I came to my senses in 1979. I hope all turns out well for you and your daughter in the end.
 
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