Thought he was dead

[ellenvdk]

:cry: Monday morning i found my husband sitting in our office in a coma. He was choking on mucus, vomit and his tongue. He was soaked to the skin and i really thought he was dead cause his breathing was sooo faint.
It all started after an afternoon and evening of drinking. He came home at 12ish, said he had tested and injected ( i was in bed) and that he was 8.3. At 4am is i tested his sugar levels again as i always worry when he's been drinking. He was 4.4 Great or so i though. At 6.30 he was staggering around the bathroom trying to have a drink. He wasn't sweating and he was staring at me saying i'm ******, leave me alone i'm ******. I tried to test him but he said he was ****** and as i'd checked his sugar levels not so long before i never thought anuymore. He went into our office and sat down. I had got so annoyed at him that i said fine stay there then, and i went to bed. If only i'd known. When i woke at 8.30 he was in a coma. I've never been so scared. Paramedics arrived and after getting him onto the floor they gave him insulin drip. He started to come round and he couldn't speak. After the drip, drinks and food his sugar levels kept dropping so they took him to hospital to make sure he was stable.
Its left me numb. I am so angry and upset with him, and i can't get the images out of my head. I've warned him before when i've had to call paramedics out that i can't go through that again. This time was 10 times worse.
He says he's going to change but a few things are getting to me. 1) why is he only wanting to change now its scared him. THe fact it scared me before seems to mean nothing to him. and 2) why has it taken him 6 years and close to death to realise this? 3) what if he doesn't change.

Will i ever get over this and do i stick around to see him go through this again?? It scared my 4 year old boy too, to the extent he wouldn't sleep at home the first night.

 

[phoenix]

I'm so sorry,that is a horrible experience.
Is he still in hospital Ellen? can you get him to ask for help with drinking? it's the combination of insulin and alcohol thats causing these problems, otherwise you have to think of yourself and your son.

 

[ham79]

I can't believe how selfish he is I know it's hard to accept but why on earth would he put firstly you and your wee boy through this but when he knows what it does to him keep doing it he really needs help. Let the doc who has him in hospital know the extent of this and tell your hubby in no uncertain terms what this is doing to you and the wee man. I would really like to swear but he needs help good luck to you all

 

[Patch]

Sounds like you've had a tough one. I just hope that he's learned his lesson (the hard way, unfortunately).

You can't underestimate the impact that going into a coma will have on him. At the very least, he'll think twice when he reaches for a drink the next time.

Sounds like a kebab/curry might just have sorted him out if he'd managed to get one down after his bender!

 

[cugila]

Hi Ellen.

There isn't really a great deal I can say, it's all been said before. I feel sorry for you for having to put up with this, but I feel sorry for him that it has taken till now for him to see just what his intransigence is doing, both to himself and to you and your Son. Maybe this is the defining moment, maybe this will scare him into facing up to things. Only time will tell. He really does need professional help with this.

As for what you do in the meantime, again no one can answer that. Only you know how you really feel and what you are prepared to go through.

All I can do now is wish you all well, and hope that things do change.

 

[ellenvdk]

no he came out of hospital the same day. he knows now that he's been stupid but i've been telling him that for 6 years so i'm so angry that he now wants to change cause HES scared. what about me??? He told doctors he didn't have a drinking problem. don't get me wrong he can go without alcohol for one or two days, BUT when he starts drinking he can't stop!!
On top of his hypo he damaged his foot when falling into coma so he now can't work and have our own business, one man band, so yet again his stupid foolish ways have messed up our lives!!!

 

[jopar]

That sounds like one hell of a wake up call indeed, lets hope it's brought him to is senses about the need to look after his diabetes..

Copeing with the fact that you've become a diabetic is pretty difficult, but the changes and regimes that you need to make to your lifestyle can be a lot harder... As it feels like you are changing your indentiy changing into a different person, if you'll in a relationship it can be frighting indeed, as you built your relationship with who you were... It becomes scary how this is going to fit into the relationship and will it cope with the new you and all the changes.. So even though you want him to make the chages that he has to make he still might feel that if he does he might actually end up losing you... It's not a negetive against you he wants to hold onto you, the way he knows how is being the person that buit your relationship the non-diabetic as he knows that is the person you understand and care about... He's not sure if you like the new person he has to become if that makes sense?

Changing is going to be difficult, and may mean at times for you it feels as he's taking one step forward and two backwards so he will need time to adjust etc...And all you can really do is reasure him that well you've been there for him over the last 6 years, so you'll likely to stick around...

As to how you feel about his hypo's, well it's natural at times to feel angery, I'm a diabetic as well as my husband, and I still could have crowned him last week, when he didn't bother to check his BG's before we took the dog for a walk at the ponds... Then didn't mention that he was getting low around the ponds when I noticed something was wrong he had started the usual stupidity and difficult to handle stage, when we are half way around the ponds, light fading fast (he has no night vision) it's 1/4 mile to either the car park where the car is parked or the other end to where the ponds join a housing estate, I've got no mobile phone on me (forgot it) and I can't leave him to get help as he would likely end up in the pond etc etc... Who can blame me for being angery that he hadn't checked his BG!

 

[kegstore]

Ellen, he's lucky to have you! Insulin and alcohol are not a great combination for any diabetic because of the way they interact. That's not to say he should avoid alcohol completely (or maybe he should?) but he HAS to acknowledge and manage his condition first and foremost. I sincerely hope this is the only wakeup call he needs, and that he will start thinking of others by taking better care of himself.

 

[Debloubed]

Ellen, I've just read this and I am truly horrified! You are an absolute saint and your hubby is so very lucky to have you.......has he read some of the stories on here about children who have found their parents in an unresponsive, hypo state? as you well know it is a horrid experience for you so I just pray that your son doesn't ever have to find his Dad like that.....

Your hubby's issue sounds like more than diabetes denial. It's combined with an apparent drinking problem and I am guessing one won't be resolved until the other one is. Drinking problems come in all shapes and sizes (kind of like diabetes!) and many people with a 'problem' can go for days without a drink, it's habit forming and the inability to stop once started becomes the issue.

Sorry, I know you know all this and I wish I could say/do more! Do you show your hubby these posts? The advice is usually firm but fair.......

 

[hanadr]

I've been there Ellen, more than once.
I'm puzzled that the paramedics put him on insulin, when what's usually needed, in my considerable experience, is lucozade. What was his sugar at the time?
Ellen, this may well not be the last time he does something like this. It's selfish, but human. Make sure you can lay your hands on the meter and the lucozade at all times.
You'll be glad to know that after a couple of days, Everything is back to normal usually.
My last one of these was this last April, when T1 went right out of the house at 2:30am, in pyjamas and bare feet, to get someting that didn't exist from his car. I knew nothing about it until I heard the crash down stairs. I got him out of his hypo and back to bed, but he ended up in hospital a few days later with an infection from the thorn he'd trodden on. T1 is 62 years old and 35 years on insulin, 38 years married to me. You'd think he'd know better. He hadn't been out drinking by the way, he's given that up. Had just overestimated his carbs for dinner.
Hana

 

[cugila]

I'm puzzled that the paramedics put him on insulin, when what's usually needed, in my considerable experience, is lucozade.

Hana.
I know the OP stated that it was an Insulin drip, but I don't think that was the case. Insulin would only serve to make matters worse by lowering the blood glucose level even further. However if the subject was in a coma as stated here by the OP, i.e. unconcious then the treatment would NOT have been to administer Lucozade unless you wanted to choke the person ! Never try to place food or drink in an unconcious person's mouth. Keep your fingers out too unless you don't mind losing a few !

This is the correct method to treat a severe Hypoglycaemic event.

Management in adults.
Initially
•Glucose 10-20 g is given by mouth either in liquid form or as granulated sugar (2 teaspoons) or sugar lumps such as Dextrose tablets.
•GlucoGel®- formerly known as Hypostop® Gel may be used.

.If hypoglycaemia causes unconsciousness, or patient is unco-operative
•50 mL of glucose intravenous (IV) infusion 20% can be given.
•Alternatively, 25 mL of glucose intravenous infusion 50% may be given, but this higher concentration is viscous, making administration difficult; it is also more irritant.
Once the patient regains consciousness oral glucose should be administered as above..

.If the patient is at home, or IV access cannot be rapidly established
•Glucagon 1 mg should be given by intramuscular (IM), or subcutaneous (SC) injection.
•This dose is used in insulin-induced hypoglycaemia (by subcutaneous, intramuscular, or intravenous injection), in adults and child over 8 years (or body-weight over 25 kg). N.B. 1 unit of glucagon = 1 mg of glucagon.

 

[phoenix]

Just to add to Ken's posting , you can get a prescription for a glucagon kit. It's something that lives in my fridge, I hope that OH will never have to use it... but its there.
http://www.diabetesuffolk.com/UnderstandingDiabetes/Glucagon.htm

 

[lisa41]

Just read your post and like other comments was truly horrified! Know it's a difficult thing to cope with but the hoplesness when it's not you and you can't do anything is horrible. I was a bit of a 'only one drink??' person so have stopped completely and feel better. Hope your husband comes to his senses