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What to do with the Mother-in -law....

Discussion in 'Type 2 Diabetes' started by moodwife, Mar 5, 2016.

  1. Pipp

    Pipp Type 2 · Expert
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    I wonder if some of the complacency is down to the health care professionals? When I was diagnosed T2 11 years ago, although I had been caring for my T2 Dad, who had been diagnosed some 30 years earlier, but had kept it secret until his health started to deteriorate, the way the nurse delivered the news to me had me thinking it wasn't really anything to worry about. I was told I had T 2, given a meter and strips, with a prescription for metformin and more test strips. Told not to worry, as it couldn't be cured, but with meds could be controlled as long as I stayed on the low fat high complex carb diet I had already been following thanks to her advice. It was ok to have 'treats ' like biscuits cakes and sweets in small amounts daily though, and I wasn't to worry. I came away thinking that I must have a 'mild form of diabetes' despite all I had seen from relatives with T2.
    Now, had I been told the real truth that this was a serious health problem, although I would have been upset, I would have known not to take this lightly. Their softly, softly approach doesn't work. But then neither does the popular media view that we should be blamed and shamed.
     
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  2. moodwife

    moodwife Type 1 · Member

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    The MiL's mum lived to 101 years of age so she has a way to go before she believes she's too old to change she is also incredibly active in her community and looks after older friends and church members. It's very frustrating seeing her non compliance and disregard for this area of her health when she's been completely compliant with blood pressure meds, statins and B12 therapy for the last 25 years. When I ask about the diabetes she does look abashed and mutters about 'forgetting' to take the Metformin but she has never forgotten her BP meds or statins...
     
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  3. Brunneria

    Brunneria Other · Guru

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    That is interesting.

    Do think that maybe the metformin upsets her tum, causes wind, nausea or diarrhoea? Those are all well known side effects.

    Is she the sort to be too embarrassed to want to discuss it with you or the doc?
     
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  4. poshtotty

    poshtotty Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Not strictly true @Bluetit1802 and not very helpful to someone who is already resisting taking the medication! I have been taking Metformin for 2.5 years and have never experienced tummy upsets or discomfort and others have said the same, although we tend to hear mostly from those who have had problems. For those who do experience tummy problems there is Metformin SR which is gentler.

    Metformin is also believed to have other positive benefits including aiding longevity @moodwife ;)
     
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  5. BooJewels

    BooJewels Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    That was exactly my thought when I read the post by @moodwife If her MIL is like my parents (a handful of years older), they would keep something like that to themselves and not want to discuss it. If she is otherwise reliable at taking other meds, then it would suggest a reluctance with that particular one - and therefore there must be a reason. They're also enormous pills and I know my husband couldn't swallow one of them if his life depended on it - we have enough drama with paracetomols.

    @poshtotty - there are four members of my family who have taken Metformin, two without any incident at all, one it caused constipation and her consultant recommended a few almonds each day which fixed that and then me, who had a very unpleasant reaction to it, even the SR and even giving it a decent time to 'settle'. So statistically, that would suggest that it's tolerated by more than not.
     
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  6. poshtotty

    poshtotty Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I rest my case! Sorry to hear about your experience though. Thanks for putting things into perspective
     
  7. Dark Horse

    Dark Horse · Well-Known Member

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    If your MIL is in the UK. she should have been offered a diabetic eye screening appointment within 3 months of diagnosis. If she hasn't, she needs to contact her GP to find out what has gone wrong. Although, as others suggest, her blurriness may be caused by high blood sugars altering the refractive power of her lens, it could also be caused by maculopathy (retinopathy of the central area of the retina).

    Many people with Type 2 have had diabetes for years before diagnosis so may already have retinopathy at their first screening. Treatment for sight-threatening retinopathy is most effective if given BEFORE there is any effect on the vision. Hence, it is important to attend screening and not rely on visual symptoms as at this stage treatment may only prevent worsening of vision, rather than actually improving it.

    It can be difficult when someone doesn't seem to want to change. Sometimes focussing on all the bad things that can happen scares them into changing, sometimes it has the opposite effect of sending them into denial. You could focus on encouraging some positive behaviours rather than discouraging negative behaviours - for example, inviting your MIL round for a delicious Type 2-friendly meal (so she can see that it's still possible to enjoy food) followed by a nice walk (as exercise helps with insulin resistance). Gradually increasing desirable behaviours may be more manageable than trying to change all at once.
     
  8. Bluetit1802

    Bluetit1802 Type 2 (in remission!) · Legend

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    Yes, of course side effects don't affect everyone, as with all medications, but I wasn't trying to advise the MiL, I was trying to advise the poster, who is not resisting taking medication. I should have expanded on what I said by suggesting side effects may well be the reason she isn't taking the tablets. This is exactly what happened with my own mother who was prescribed tablets for a chronic illness, not taking them and hiding them away in a cupboard so I wouldn't notice. It took me a lot of persuasion before she admitted they had been making her nauseous. I thought the poster, being Type 1, may not know a great deal about Metformin.
    I apologise if my post was in any way misleading.
     
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  9. Patricia21

    Patricia21 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I am nearly 75,and T2 I have got my BS levels down in a week of joining the forum,and watching what I eat and feel fine.
    I know I am going to die of somthing but not somthing I can help.and control.
    My sister in law had a new kidney and lost toes,but didnt look after herself and died age 69.
    Its easy to say only once but if not careful only once can be every day,even friends and family will say once wont harm.
    All the best to your mother in law and I hope she stays well.
     
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  10. DaveNN

    DaveNN · Well-Known Member

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    Fair play!
     
  11. SugarJunkie

    SugarJunkie Type 2 · Member

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  12. Potteron

    Potteron Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I understand your frustration as I have a similar problem with my mother. But in this area she is the expert as she has been diagnosed Type 2 for 15yrs and is now 84yrs of age. I am 1yr into my T2 diagnosis and 60yrs old. Both of us diet controlled. My mother has followed the NICE guidelines as advised and I am signed up to dietdoctors LCHF. I take her shopping every week and the differences in the contents of our trolleys are vast !
    My frustration lies in the fact that she is often tired/worn-out/lethargic/feeling off, most of which I feel is caused by the bananas/oranges/scones/ bread/ potatoes /poridge/cornflakes/evaporated milk etc that fill her shopping trolley. But all these items are within the diet she has been told to follow.
    My mother has tried hard to follow the advice she was given and is constantly told at her reviews that her control is good. Until the NHS can come up with some guidance that helps us towards a better management and control and is not patronising in its assumption that we won't be able to manage if our diets are too constricted beyond the 'norm' then I can see a future for many that is seen through a foggy haze of vision and tiredness.
     
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  13. ladybird64

    ladybird64 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I'm going to be bolshie and say my nightmare was how my type 2 was handled while on an Oncology ward:cool: If I'd eaten what thy were insisting I ate, my levels would have been through the roof and I would have felt even worse than I did at the time - guess it works both ways.
    Having had some experience of how diabetes was addressed when my mum was so ill towards the end of her life, I can partially understand the reticence, particularly if the person is on a lot of other medication, as many of the elderly unfortunately are. When mum was admitted to hospital, over and over I saw that when her levels were checked, they were significantly raised but the checking just seemed to be there for the sake of it, no action was taken. Same with gp care, there seems to be a very relaxed attitude about it all. I think for some - obviously not all - they do feel they have reached an age where they should be allowed their "treats", and if the HCP's aren't worried, they won't worry either.

    It's a difficult one to deal with..
     
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  14. Kyi

    Kyi Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I think I have some empathy for your MIL. When I was 42 and diagnosed with diabetes I did nothing because I did not understand the seriousness of diabetes and I was not in a head space that wanted to live life taking medications. It is easy to ignore when you do not see what you have to live a long life for. Put another way if you chose to eat sugars because you enjoy their taste and know that it will shorten your life, do you really want to remove it and spend the remaining time miserable, denying yourself treats? Everyone has to die at some point. Luckily I got out of that head space and started treating my diabetes with respect but it took a long time for me to change.
     
  15. AndBreathe

    AndBreathe I reversed my Type 2 · Expert
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    But, @donnellysdogs , 28 days of what? Avoidance of answering the phone if "that" number appears. Each and every one of us can manage the action, but not necessarily the reaction. Herein lies the problem. Unfortunately.
     
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