Why do I keep going off the boil?

the_anticarb

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Is anyone else like me? I can have periods of really good control when I am engaged with my diabetes and eat right and test. Then, something can come along such as a holiday, Christmas, a period of stress or being ill, and I make excuses not to test and eat what I like telling myself I'll get back on track 'tomorrow'. Well tomorrow never comes! And then I look back and see I've been out of control for a few weeks before I finally kick myself back into touch.

The latest incident was Christmas. By which I don't mind Christmas day, but the whole build up to Christmas, going out, work xmas drinks/meals out, bought a trolleyfull of whatever food and booze we wanted for Christmas week itself (would not be so bad if it had just been that week), then away to the in laws for new years, more food, more parties, I'll start the diet again next Monday, Monday comes and goes....

I have now had a penny-drop moment, I went to the opticians and she could see some minor retinopathy signs in my eyes, so it has scared me into taking control again.

I just need to find a way not to lose the control. It's not stopping (the bad habits, bad food, lack of testing) that's difficult, it's staying stopped.

I just find it's easy to motivate myself for a little while but not forever. My two pregnancies although difficult physically were psychologically the most motivated I'd ever been as I had someone else on board to protect, and I wish I could feel that motivated again but it's like I get motivation burn-out after a few months. How do I keep it going forever?
 

noblehead

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I'm not sure of the answer, but family are a great motivator, we all want to see our children grow up and have children themselves, so if we don't look after ourselves we may not see the day.

Sorry to hear that your retinopathy has reappeared, use that as motivation to get back on track (and apologise if my reply isn't helpful).
 
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DeejayR

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If I stop testing for a few days I'm disappointed to find I extend my meals to include no-nos. Example, stir-fry beef marinated in soy sauce, Worcester sauce and balsamic vinegar -- all normally reserved for Mrs D. Bit of leftover spud in soup. Milk in coffee in a restaurant. What the meter doesn't record can't matter, right? :facepalm:
Is it something to do with our self-worth? We need to be motivated primarily for ourselves, I think, and not for others. I know many people spend their lives caring for others while neglecting their own needs (I have no halo, I hasten to add) and when it's time to put yourself first it can be difficult.
 
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Sarah69

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Perhaps you get bored with the lchf diet? I have tried it and find it very limiting.
 

the_anticarb

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Well my diet at the moment is LCHF. The problem isn't my diet though, it's my motivation. Eg the other week I was being good then went to a big all day team meeting at work, the table was laden with cake, chocolates and biscuits and I just thought f*ck it I don't want to be different so I indulged. and then the day was ruined.
 

the_anticarb

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Hi Noblehead. I'm not sure my retinopathy has reappeared, the doctor has said there are no new vessels and don't need more treatment but when I went to the opticians she said she could see background retinopathy in my left eye. Seeing as that eye has been through the whole range of phases up to the most dangerous, high risk active retinopathy, then treated, I'm not sure it can go back to the background level? As the eye is already quite severely damaged before you get to the active stage so surely any background retinopathy would be from years back. It didn't make much sense to me. I saw my ophthalmologist in October and he gave me the all clear so I like to think he knows better than the optician. Anyway the opticians comments did somehow galvanise me into taking care of myself. I know it's completely illogical that after all I've been through with my eyes I would ever think of pigging out on carbs again, but we are not always logical creatures.
 

Lenny3

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I often slip for a week or so but we must get back on track. Its not a diet but a life style. easier said than done. Today I'm feeling a bit down and considered having some naughty cheese cake, but instead am making a microwave cake that is low carb and filling it with a cream cheese type icing. We just have to try and break years of habit of using food as a treat. Again easier said than done. Im treating myself soon to a new hair do with colour, highlights etc.......... but today to cheer myself up a bit maybe I'll paint my nails.
 
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noblehead

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Hi Noblehead. I'm not sure my retinopathy has reappeared, the doctor has said there are no new vessels and don't need more treatment but when I went to the opticians she said she could see background retinopathy in my left eye. Seeing as that eye has been through the whole range of phases up to the most dangerous, high risk active retinopathy, then treated, I'm not sure it can go back to the background level? As the eye is already quite severely damaged before you get to the active stage so surely any background retinopathy would be from years back. It didn't make much sense to me. I saw my ophthalmologist in October and he gave me the all clear so I like to think he knows better than the optician. Anyway the opticians comments did somehow galvanise me into taking care of myself. I know it's completely illogical that after all I've been through with my eyes I would ever think of pigging out on carbs again, but we are not always logical creatures.


I know you say you had your eyes examined in October, but if this is worrying you then ring the Ophthalmology clinic up and ask if they can see you before your next appointment is due, just explain to your consultants secretary that a Optician has seen some changes in your eyes and this is worrying you, that's what I'd do anyway as someone who has had problems before with diabetic retinopathy. Good luck.
 

the_anticarb

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I know you say you had your eyes examined in October, but if this is worrying you then ring the Ophthalmology clinic up and ask if they can see you before your next appointment is due, just explain to your consultants secretary that a Optician has seen some changes in your eyes and this is worrying you, that's what I'd do anyway as someone who has had problems before with diabetic retinopathy. Good luck.
Thanks Noblehead. I actually don't think the optician has seen anything too concerning. She did say it was only the very minor background changes, which is pretty small fry when you've had 10 x laser and a vitrectomy. She also said that she hadn't seen me before so didn't know what it was like previously. I'm not getting too concerned, especially as I had my hba1c back from December and it was 48. I am due to be seen at the Eye hospital again next month, so I will get a view from the experts then.
 
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CollieBoy

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@Sarah69
for diet @DeejayR means way of eating!
If you ate nothing, you would still have a diet (Ultra low calorie/starvation diet;))
 

Sarah69

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Oh I see, I just eat what I want. I tried lchf but found the diet very limited. I found that food always seemed repetitive too. It seemed like everyone ate salad for lunch (not keen on) and everything else with lots of veg (again there's not too many veg I like). I have a roast lunch every Sunday and could easily just eat the meat and roast potatoes with no other veg!