My gardening was totally different, as I used to toally renovate gardens, and then as another disease really started to take grip, I was lucky that I could carry on maintaining these gardens for those customers. I absolutely loved my work and business. I had to give it up becaus ewe moved to another uk country that is far less interested in gardening than the good english folt to be quite honest.....
My husband was always concerned about what I would do as he was always thinking long term about getting older, and less able to do the huge jobs that I was doing.
Is your diabetes, well managed and are your levels on a daily basis between the 5's and 8'......if not, this could have an impact on the way that your body is reacting. Re you eating a good, healthy diet?-sorry I sound like a depserate parent!!!!-of a teenager who has just left home!!!-but this can also have a big impact on tiredness and wellbeing.
I have a separate illness of fibromylaigia, which in all honesty would have stopped me doing all the gardening that I was doing, but we moved anyway-however, saying that my husband was getting more, and more aware of the problems I was ggetting-and he was thinking like you, that I was not going to to be able to do this on a longterm basis.
There has to be other things available, that you enjoy and can do well. Have you thought about passing your knowledge on in anyway...and charging for it. I live near to a fantastic gentleman, who is fantastic at doing superb flower arranging (I know this sounds odd!!!)....-and this year he has started doing flower arranging and christmas wreath and willow obelisk making lessons for locals or anybody-and actually charging for them.....there are ways around things....i.e. repairing lawnmowers, farm machinery etc.....you so obviously enjoy what you do, and I totally agree that you should be thinking of other options, as it is actually very, very few of us that can keep doing the same job for all of our live's. In fact, my hubby is now 45 and he is already thinking about coming about of management etc and for the future, as it is so much a young boy's graduate job nowadays.
It is very rare that you can keep in one job from leaving school until retirement, and/or beyond (unless in a government sort of based job!!!!)-even they are having to make changes!!!-there is no longer any job for life, and that applies to every single person-not just us diabetics.
First of though, you have to get in to a positive frame of mind about this, at the moment you seem to be very, very despondent and concerned, and looking on the black side.....