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Love those Minnesota stories!
The toilet seat was invented by a Swede in Minnesota, but twenty years later a North Dakota Norwegian invented the hole in it.
When Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold.
He explained, “I'm not going down dere yust for 50 cents."
A Swede appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up.
As the victim entered the room, the Swede blurted, “Yep, dat’s her!"
Two Swedes from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish. “The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400,” said the first Swede. “Vell,” said the other one, “at dat price it's a good ting ve didn't catch any more."
Ole and Lena were getting on in years. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. One evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers and Ole reached over and patted Lena on her knee. “Lena, vat ever happened tew our sex relations?” he asked. “Vell, Ole, I yust don’t know," replied Lena. “I don't tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas."
Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it. “Oh,” said Ole, “I persvaded her to svitch to a clarinet." “How come?" asked Lars. “Vell,” Ole answered, “because vith a clarinet, she can't sing."
The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. “Vell how da hell should I know? Dats two thousand miles from here,” he says and hangs up. “Who vas dat?' asks Lena. “I dunno, some fool wanting to know if da coast vas clear."
On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena said, “Ole, you can go farther than that if you want to." So Ole drove to Duluth.
Ole was arrested one night while walking bare naked down the streets of the little town of Alexandria, Minnesota. The policeman, who was a good friend of Ole’s said,"Ole...What in the world are you doing? Where are your clothes? You’re naked."
"Yah, I know,” said Ole.
"You see, I vas over to dat 'playboy' Swen's for his birthday party. Dere vas about ten of us. Der vas boys and girls.”
“Is that right?", his policeman friend asked.
“Yah Yah, Anyway, dat Swen, he says, ‘Everybody get into the bedroom!’ So vee all go into the bedroom....where den he yells, 'Everybody git naked!' Vel, vee all got undressed. Den he yells, 'Everybody go to town!' I guess I’m the first one here.
The toilet seat was invented by a Swede in Minnesota, but twenty years later a North Dakota Norwegian invented the hole in it.
When Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold.
He explained, “I'm not going down dere yust for 50 cents."
A Swede appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up.
As the victim entered the room, the Swede blurted, “Yep, dat’s her!"
Two Swedes from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish. “The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400,” said the first Swede. “Vell,” said the other one, “at dat price it's a good ting ve didn't catch any more."
Ole and Lena were getting on in years. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. One evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers and Ole reached over and patted Lena on her knee. “Lena, vat ever happened tew our sex relations?” he asked. “Vell, Ole, I yust don’t know," replied Lena. “I don't tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas."
Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it. “Oh,” said Ole, “I persvaded her to svitch to a clarinet." “How come?" asked Lars. “Vell,” Ole answered, “because vith a clarinet, she can't sing."
The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. “Vell how da hell should I know? Dats two thousand miles from here,” he says and hangs up. “Who vas dat?' asks Lena. “I dunno, some fool wanting to know if da coast vas clear."
On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena said, “Ole, you can go farther than that if you want to." So Ole drove to Duluth.
Ole was arrested one night while walking bare naked down the streets of the little town of Alexandria, Minnesota. The policeman, who was a good friend of Ole’s said,"Ole...What in the world are you doing? Where are your clothes? You’re naked."
"Yah, I know,” said Ole.
"You see, I vas over to dat 'playboy' Swen's for his birthday party. Dere vas about ten of us. Der vas boys and girls.”
“Is that right?", his policeman friend asked.
“Yah Yah, Anyway, dat Swen, he says, ‘Everybody get into the bedroom!’ So vee all go into the bedroom....where den he yells, 'Everybody git naked!' Vel, vee all got undressed. Den he yells, 'Everybody go to town!' I guess I’m the first one here.
