@courtenayjane I'm a little confused as to what you mean by a diabetic obstetrician. In my hospital (which is a big London teaching one with quite a lot of expertise on diabetes) you get see jointly by an endocrinologist and an obstetrician as
@azure describes. One specialises in diabetes and the other in pregnancy. When you're on the labour ward in my experience you only see an obstetrician and it's luck of the draw how much they know about diabetes. Saying which when you have an obstetric issue although diabetes may cause specific challenges at the end of the day an obstetrician will view you from an obstetric point of view with the addition of you'll need a sliding scale and are more likely to have a larger baby which poses obstetric issues. A paediatrician will get alerted to the increased likelihood that on delivery the baby will have low blood sugar or other issues. The endocrinologist will be more concerned with you but are unlikely to be anywhere near you when you are in labour.
My experience has been that how well you're treated depends a lot on the staff on duty and the day of the week. I have never had to go to a DAU but I had an issue in antenatal clinic in one pregnancy where the consultant obstetrician decided I needed an extra scan and the receptionist and scanner decided the protocol didn't permit this. The consultant went majorly out of her way to try and sort out this problem including trying to arrange it in another hospital in the trust and in the end asked me to wait until the end of clinic and did it for me herself. I was somewhat appalled at the lack of respect shown by the other staff to her although she took great care of me. The issue was she was asking for something they didn't believe was permitted by the system (as she thought it clinicly necessary) and even when she managed to override the scanner's manager they claimed there were no slots available (entirely possible). The scan she gave me was the nicest I ever had.
My experience has been that:
1. You tend to be the person who knows most about diabetes in the room
2. You need an advocate to support you through these conversations (husband, partner, doula).
3. Get anything you care about written in the notes but you or your advocate may need to draw the doctor's attention to it
4. A lot depends on the person who sees you. Some are very knowledgable, some are more willing to listen and some will go completely out of their way to provide you with amazing care and reassurance, but it's luck of the draw which is why it's important not to go into any vulnerable situation alone and frankly being pregnant is a vulnerable time.
It sounds to me like there was poor communication going on between your doctor and the DAU. It is also possible that the obstetrician was perfectly happy from an obstetric point of view and you got the brunt of a bad day and underresourced unit. I know that sounds horrible but it can happen. My experience has generally been good in that when something is going seriously wrong you are noticed.
I hope that reassures you a little but I would recommend that if you find yourself in this situation again you do your best to make sure you have someone with you, that you can trust to advocate for you.