Diabetes burnout, anyone?

[Kerryachown]

novorapidboi26 - thanks, that's good to know.

sue - virtual hugs are always welcome. thank you : )

noblehead - thanks for the welcome.

himtoo - thanks for the link. i understand why you posted it, but I'm not convinced it's a useful tool for me, personally. I don't have a problem in dealing with the fact that i have diabetes; i accepted it a long time ago. I think my problem is more like 'exhaustion' than anything else. I'm just, for want of a better word(s), 'burnt out'.

It's so hard fighting against an invisible enemy; relentlessly putting in a ton of effort merely to keep the tide at bay. And knowing that even if you put the effort in, the tide could easily breach your defenses regardless. It's so easy to just let things slip, especially when the consequences of letting things slip aren't always immediately obvious. I've been taking my eye off the ball more and more over the last few years, which is very likely the cause of the retinopathy mentioned earlier. That diagnosis certainly made me up my game, but after the laser treatment,and a few subsequent check-ups that showed the treatment had been effective, I'm back to square one.

The nicest thing anyone has ever said to me was said by a nurse last year. After my retinopathy had been diagnosed, she asked how well controlled my diabetes was. I said that it was basically pretty up and down. She didn't criticise. She didn't patronise. She simply said, 'yeah, it must be a nightmare'. And sometimes, that's all I need. A hug while being told this would be nice too, obviously ; ) But just the simple recognition that it really isn't easy, and it really can / does have a huge psychological impact, is just amazing. (Luckily they'd already finished shining bright lights in my eyes by that point, because I really couldn't stop myself from welling up).

My parents, bless them, were very much of the opinion that one shouldn't feel sorry for oneself - you just get on with it, because feeling sorry for yourself doesn't get the job done. I think my friends are either a bit wary about mentioning my condition, or, more likely, don't want to appear patronizing or condescending. And I don't want to appear needy by asking them to recognize how difficult this condition is.

So all of this leads me to having to deal with it all on my own. I don't feel I can turn to my family or friends, even though they are all lovely and well meaning. And most of the time, that's OK. But sometimes (and this is becoming more common), I get days like today, weeks like this week, and months like this month where i just want to curl into a ball and cry. Pathetic, I know. But true.

Anyway. Sorry for the emotional splurge! Really needed to get that out, and this forum feels like it might be a relatively safe place to do that.

The thing that helps me is the Facebook page for people who have type 1 and who do sport. They are all so positive. I wouldn't describe myself as sporty but I love the positive vibe. I also feel that doing physical activity makes me feel positive. Even today, I did park run and I found it really hard, but it helps me keep positive even when I'm struggling like you.

 

[Suercc]

novorapidboi26 - thanks, that's good to know.

sue - virtual hugs are always welcome. thank you : )

noblehead - thanks for the welcome.

himtoo - thanks for the link. i understand why you posted it, but I'm not convinced it's a useful tool for me, personally. I don't have a problem in dealing with the fact that i have diabetes; i accepted it a long time ago. I think my problem is more like 'exhaustion' than anything else. I'm just, for want of a better word(s), 'burnt out'.

It's so hard fighting against an invisible enemy; relentlessly putting in a ton of effort merely to keep the tide at bay. And knowing that even if you put the effort in, the tide could easily breach your defenses regardless. It's so easy to just let things slip, especially when the consequences of letting things slip aren't always immediately obvious. I've been taking my eye off the ball more and more over the last few years, which is very likely the cause of the retinopathy mentioned earlier. That diagnosis certainly made me up my game, but after the laser treatment,and a few subsequent check-ups that showed the treatment had been effective, I'm back to square one.

The nicest thing anyone has ever said to me was said by a nurse last year. After my retinopathy had been diagnosed, she asked how well controlled my diabetes was. I said that it was basically pretty up and down. She didn't criticise. She didn't patronise. She simply said, 'yeah, it must be a nightmare'. And sometimes, that's all I need. A hug while being told this would be nice too, obviously ; ) But just the simple recognition that it really isn't easy, and it really can / does have a huge psychological impact, is just amazing. (Luckily they'd already finished shining bright lights in my eyes by that point, because I really couldn't stop myself from welling up).

My parents, bless them, were very much of the opinion that one shouldn't feel sorry for oneself - you just get on with it, because feeling sorry for yourself doesn't get the job done. I think my friends are either a bit wary about mentioning my condition, or, more likely, don't want to appear patronizing or condescending. And I don't want to appear needy by asking them to recognize how difficult this condition is.

So all of this leads me to having to deal with it all on my own. I don't feel I can turn to my family or friends, even though they are all lovely and well meaning. And most of the time, that's OK. But sometimes (and this is becoming more common), I get days like today, weeks like this week, and months like this month where i just want to curl into a ball and cry. Pathetic, I know. But true.

Anyway. Sorry for the emotional splurge! Really needed to get that out, and this forum feels like it might be a relatively safe place to do that.

 

[Martina K Dairo]

Hi all. This is my first post / thread on a diabetes forum, so please forgive me if I tread on toes / break rules / inadvertently do something wrong.

Bit of background: I'm 43 and I've had T1 diabetes since I was 5. No major complications yet, although I have recently had (succesful) laser treatment for retinopathy.

I've tried using a diabetes forum before (online ones and once, a 'real life' group), but (and I'm sure this will p1ss some of you off, for which I apologise) I've always ended up avoiding them because I just find them to be depressing. Many / most threads and posts seemed to be about horrible complications, so every time I visited a forum or read a post it just reminded me of how awful things can get. And I don't want to be reminded of that. The group i joined that met up in person just ended up being a morbid discussion about how awful it is to have diabetes. I didn't stay for long.

So why have I joined this forum? Well, today I found out about something called diabetes burnout. I was searching online for terms like 'diabetes + depression', 'diabetes + stress' etc because, for some reason, I feel pretty close to cracking today. I like to kid myself that i cope really well with being diabetic, and in some ways that's true... but having read about 'diabetes burnout', I now realise that it describes how I feel and think about my condition perfectly. I'm sitting at my desk at work and I'm fighting back some tears because the descriptions of diabetes burnout so accurately reflect how I'm feeling.

My friends, bless them, are all really amazing when it comes to being supportive and stuff. The problem is, i don't want to turn to them for support. I don't want to keep marking myself out as someone who is different, who is 'less able', who needs help, and who can't cope.

And so I'm turning to you folk for two reasons - firstly, I'm relatively anonymous and so I don't feel quite so wretched having to admit that i can't cope. And secondly, well - if anyone's going to understand me, it's probably you lot.

Sorry, i don't have a specific question or anything, and this post is probably a bit rambling, unstructured and random, but that's pretty close to how i feel today.

 

[kevinfitzgerald]

Hi Martina,

I am quite new to this forum also. Anything IT feels me with dread!

I am not new to diabetes though being Type 1 for 33 years.

I know a few diabetics that have had periods of burn out, I being one! It is true that people who do not have this illness normally have little understanding of the emotional issues it brings.

So sorry that you seem to be struggling at the moment. It will pass though. May not seem like it but it will. Remember that there are so many of us that suffer this illness. I also remind myself of that when feeling bad. It is part of being what we have and I accept that now.

It is a bit like the marathon runner hitting "the wall" but they carry on running even though they are hurting. They want to give up but they keep discipline, they keep running and then they get through.

Having diabetes as you know is a little longer than 26 miles and we hit that wall more than just the once. You have had it a while like me and many others. If I can get through 33 years of injections and living with diabetes I know I can get through brief periods of time when I am feeling down.

Ask around. Nobody knows a diabetic like a diabetic. Keeping perspective helps me also. Many illnesses out there worse than ours (mind you there are a few also that I would rather have)

 

[Martina K Dairo]

Hi Martina,

I am quite new to this forum also. Anything IT feels me with dread!

I am not new to diabetes though being Type 1 for 33 years.

I know a few diabetics that have had periods of burn out, I being one! It is true that people who do not have this illness normally have little understanding of the emotional issues it brings.

So sorry that you seem to be struggling at the moment. It will pass though. May not seem like it but it will. Remember that there are so many of us that suffer this illness. I also remind myself of that when feeling bad. It is part of being what we have and I accept that now.

It is a bit like the marathon runner hitting "the wall" but they carry on running even though they are hurting. They want to give up but they keep discipline, they keep running and then they get through.

Having diabetes as you know is a little longer than 26 miles and we hit that wall more than just the once. You have had it a while like me and many others. If I can get through 33 years of injections and living with diabetes I know I can get through brief periods of time when I am feeling down.

Ask around. Nobody knows a diabetic like a diabetic. Keeping perspective helps me also. Many illnesses out there worse than ours (mind you there are a few also that I would rather have)

Great to hear from you Kevin,it's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one who's ever gone through this bad patch.As you say hopefully this will pass soon.Thanks for your kind words,Martina

 

[Martina K Dairo]

novorapidboi26 - thanks, that's good to know.

sue - virtual hugs are always welcome. thank you : )

noblehead - thanks for the welcome.

himtoo - thanks for the link. i understand why you posted it, but I'm not convinced it's a useful tool for me, personally. I don't have a problem in dealing with the fact that i have diabetes; i accepted it a long time ago. I think my problem is more like 'exhaustion' than anything else. I'm just, for want of a better word(s), 'burnt out'.

It's so hard fighting against an invisible enemy; relentlessly putting in a ton of effort merely to keep the tide at bay. And knowing that even if you put the effort in, the tide could easily breach your defenses regardless. It's so easy to just let things slip, especially when the consequences of letting things slip aren't always immediately obvious. I've been taking my eye off the ball more and more over the last few years, which is very likely the cause of the retinopathy mentioned earlier. That diagnosis certainly made me up my game, but after the laser treatment,and a few subsequent check-ups that showed the treatment had been effective, I'm back to square one.

The nicest thing anyone has ever said to me was said by a nurse last year. After my retinopathy had been diagnosed, she asked how well controlled my diabetes was. I said that it was basically pretty up and down. She didn't criticise. She didn't patronise. She simply said, 'yeah, it must be a nightmare'. And sometimes, that's all I need. A hug while being told this would be nice too, obviously ; ) But just the simple recognition that it really isn't easy, and it really can / does have a huge psychological impact, is just amazing. (Luckily they'd already finished shining bright lights in my eyes by that point, because I really couldn't stop myself from welling up).

My parents, bless them, were very much of the opinion that one shouldn't feel sorry for oneself - you just get on with it, because feeling sorry for yourself doesn't get the job done. I think my friends are either a bit wary about mentioning my condition, or, more likely, don't want to appear patronizing or condescending. And I don't want to appear needy by asking them to recognize how difficult this condition is.

So all of this leads me to having to deal with it all on my own. I don't feel I can turn to my family or friends, even though they are all lovely and well meaning. And most of the time, that's OK. But sometimes (and this is becoming more common), I get days like today, weeks like this week, and months like this month where i just want to curl into a ball and cry. Pathetic, I know. But true.

Anyway. Sorry for the emotional splurge! Really needed to get that out, and this forum feels like it might be a relatively safe place to do that.

Hi Carlos,reading your post has really moved me as you're describing exactly how I've been feeling for the past few months.I'm 47 and have been a Type 1 diabetic for the past 38 years.I'm generally very well controlled and Thank God have no diabetic complications but what a struggle it's been lately to maintain this.As you say,sometimes despite your efforts things can still go awry.I've had a lot of unexplained hypos lately and I've honestly been more psychologically than physically affected by them (although physically it's been pretty tough too).Like you I too have a great support network,my husband,family,friends and workmates are very helpful to me but sometimes it's just impossible for them to understand what we're going through.how can they be expected to?Like you say,you don't want to appear needy or different to others.I'm a teacher and had a hypo in the staffroom of school a few weeks ago (luckily it wasn't in class) and really scared my workmates,when I came round I felt so embarrased and almost guilty for having put them through that and I don't like to think that they view me differently now.Anyway I so know what you're going through and am here to chat and share our experiences.Best wishes Martina

 

[DR MICHAIL]

Hi, I am diabetic for 27 years ,T2 , first treated on oral medication and now on Insulin for 10 years. I know exactly what you feel because of my repeated similar experiences. The reason is not only the diabetes but other reasons such as relationships especially your sexual one, work, family and friends.
I am 68 now and retired and that even made it worse especially if you do not do much.
My own experience is to go to the gym and you will find a big difference in your feeling and your ability to cope with various stresses . Initially it is going to be a bit difficult especially you have to readjust your treatment during the gym session but then you will get trained in dealing with it with the help of your trainer . At least give it a go and see the result yourself.

Also you have to address any sexual problem because there are a lot of offers to address this problem , do not feel embarrassed and speak to your Dr or the nurse .
Good luck

 

[Wife of Type1 hubby]

Hi Carlos,
My husband has been going through 'burnout' for some time. He's 34 and has had type 1 since he was 2 years old. Overall, since he has been treated for retinopathy he's been really looking after his levels and can cope a lot easier with his condition, but sometimes he will eat things he's not supposed to eat, just to feel like he's living a normal life, but when he goes high he gets in a rage, all bitter and twisted....it's like Jeckall and Hyde. Pretty scarey, as when he's normal levels he's such a lovely person. It's hard trying to deal with this knowing that it's the illness not him that makes him like that. Sometimes he says it would be so much easier just to die as he's exhausted by the constant effort it takes to keep the good levels. I try to keep him positive, but he's not been able to do his normal job (roofing) since his eyesight went and this has dented his confidence. He's starting a small handyman business with his dad so that he can earn money, but is very unsure about his eyesight. It's good that you are still able to work....you should definitely take a holiday. My husband spent the best part of a year travelling Australia in his early 20s. It's probably the best thing he's ever done! Good luck

 

[NICNAK68]

novorapidboi26 - thanks, that's good to know.

sue - virtual hugs are always welcome. thank you : )

noblehead - thanks for the welcome.

himtoo - thanks for the link. i understand why you posted it, but I'm not convinced it's a useful tool for me, personally. I don't have a problem in dealing with the fact that i have diabetes; i accepted it a long time ago. I think my problem is more like 'exhaustion' than anything else. I'm just, for want of a better word(s), 'burnt out'.

It's so hard fighting against an invisible enemy; relentlessly putting in a ton of effort merely to keep the tide at bay. And knowing that even if you put the effort in, the tide could easily breach your defenses regardless. It's so easy to just let things slip, especially when the consequences of letting things slip aren't always immediately obvious. I've been taking my eye off the ball more and more over the last few years, which is very likely the cause of the retinopathy mentioned earlier. That diagnosis certainly made me up my game, but after the laser treatment,and a few subsequent check-ups that showed the treatment had been effective, I'm back to square one.

The nicest thing anyone has ever said to me was said by a nurse last year. After my retinopathy had been diagnosed, she asked how well controlled my diabetes was. I said that it was basically pretty up and down. She didn't criticise. She didn't patronise. She simply said, 'yeah, it must be a nightmare'. And sometimes, that's all I need. A hug while being told this would be nice too, obviously ; ) But just the simple recognition that it really isn't easy, and it really can / does have a huge psychological impact, is just amazing. (Luckily they'd already finished shining bright lights in my eyes by that point, because I really couldn't stop myself from welling up).

My parents, bless them, were very much of the opinion that one shouldn't feel sorry for oneself - you just get on with it, because feeling sorry for yourself doesn't get the job done. I think my friends are either a bit wary about mentioning my condition, or, more likely, don't want to appear patronizing or condescending. And I don't want to appear needy by asking them to recognize how difficult this condition is.

So all of this leads me to having to deal with it all on my own. I don't feel I can turn to my family or friends, even though they are all lovely and well meaning. And most of the time, that's OK. But sometimes (and this is becoming more common), I get days like today, weeks like this week, and months like this month where i just want to curl into a ball and cry. Pathetic, I know. But true.

Anyway. Sorry for the emotional splurge! Really needed to get that out, and this forum feels like it might be a relatively safe place to do that.

I also feel like this so maybe we can help each other through this, please PM me x