joke of the day

[steveandkay]

Mick, from Dublin appeared on 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 pounds.
"You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million pounds you've only got one lifeline left - phone a friend.
Everything is riding on this question... will you go for it?"
"Sure," said Mick, "I'll have a go!"
"Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?"...
A: Sparrow
B: Thrush
C: Magpie
D: Cuckoo
"I haven't got a clue," said Mick, "so I'll use me last lifeline and phone me friend Paddy back home in Dublin."
Mick called up his mate and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.
"Hell, Mick!" cried Paddy, "Dat's simple... it's a cuckoo."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, "I'll go wit Cuckoo as me answer."
"Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.
"Dat it is, Sir."
There was a long - long pause, then the presenter screamed, "Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won 1 million pounds!"
The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.
"Tell me, Paddy. How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?"
"Because, cuckoo lives in clocks."

 

[Doriand]

Mick, from Dublin appeared on 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 pounds.
"You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million pounds you've only got one lifeline left - phone a friend.
Everything is riding on this question... will you go for it?"
"Sure," said Mick, "I'll have a go!"
"Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?"...
A: Sparrow
B: Thrush
C: Magpie
D: Cuckoo
"I haven't got a clue," said Mick, "so I'll use me last lifeline and phone me friend Paddy back home in Dublin."
Mick called up his mate and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.
"Hell, Mick!" cried Paddy, "Dat's simple... it's a cuckoo."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, "I'll go wit Cuckoo as me answer."
"Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.
"Dat it is, Sir."
There was a long - long pause, then the presenter screamed, "Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won 1 million pounds!"
The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.
"Tell me, Paddy. How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?"
"Because, cuckoo lives in clocks."

This must be the same Mick from Dublin who went home from the Air Guitar Competition............The cab driver lost his musical instruments!!!

 

[phil1966]

This one is courtesy of my daughter - I thought it was funny

My blood sugar was 3.14 - I must have eaten too much PI

 

[kevinfitzgerald]

I opened my freezer the other day and there was a little green alien in there masturbating over a bag of petit pois.

I shouted at him "What the hell are you doing!" and he turned around and said

"Please don't hurt me I cum in peas"

 

[kevinfitzgerald]

What's green and hard ?.........

A frog with a flick knife !.....