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Am I being too controlling?
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<blockquote data-quote="mangobe" data-source="post: 757889" data-attributes="member: 22581"><p>It sounds to me like you [USER=157009]@RyansMum[/USER] are doing very well and giving him the best care you can in a difficult situation. It is not easy to accept a T1 diagnosis at any time, and particularly difficult when you are a teenager who is typically facing other body and image changes as well as identity challenges already, before being lumbered with this condition. Most T1's go through periods of 'burn out' when they feel discouraged by the endless discipline needed to manage Blood Sugar levels, but once it has become a routine part of one's life it really does become a new 'normal'. For him at the moment it is all very new and he may need quite a while to accept and accommodate this new reality, so your care and support can only help him through this phase, even if it seems that in rejecting the diagnosis or rejecting the treatment he is rejecting and rebelling against you. A condition that suddenly requires constant self-monitoring and self discipline is a huge burden for him to have to take on and a radical shift in his identity as a normal healthy person, so the more emotionally secure he is the better equipped he will be to develop healthy coping strategies, and it really does sound like your interactions and efforts are seen as caring by him.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately there is currently no way to avoid the issue that is at the heart of diabetes management and that is 'control': controlling blood sugar swings to keep them in range; controlling food portion sizes (or carbohydrates specifically); and controlling insulin doses manually; controlling exercise regimens for best use of available energy...etc. On top of all this is the emotional control, trying to accept that one's body is in a sense now 'out of control' and must be managed manually - controlled, having to learn to' take control' of all these variables and answer questions from parents and doctors about how 'Good' or 'Bad' one's 'Diabetic Control' has been, sadly questions which tend to sound like black and white judgements about the person rather than the condition, and divide a complicated range of experience into all Good or all Bad! Negotiating all of this at the same time as feeling that others (parents or nurses) are trying to impose their control over intimate parts of one's own life can be very hard, so expect some rebellion. I think it's admirable that you are aware of the controlling aspect of helping your son. The very fact you ask this question means he is in very good hands, <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> so don't give up, there isn't any other way to 'control' T1 other than teaching him and prompting him to take good care of himself.</p><p></p><p>Re the question of good and bad foods you'll find some conflicting advice on whether he should eat high carb foods or avoid them, so you and he will have to make your own judgement call after researching it - lots of info on this forum and elsewhere about T1 and Low carb high fat diet reducing insulin requirements which sadly don't tend to be promoted by the medical establishment. Also as the other forum members have suggested, not just for you but for your son, meeting in person or reading other parents and diabetics stories online can be hugely reassuring. You'll find lots of joking goes on on forums because each desperate issue you raise very soon seems far more trivial when you find that it's been shared by thousands of others just like you.<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mangobe, post: 757889, member: 22581"] It sounds to me like you [USER=157009]@RyansMum[/USER] are doing very well and giving him the best care you can in a difficult situation. It is not easy to accept a T1 diagnosis at any time, and particularly difficult when you are a teenager who is typically facing other body and image changes as well as identity challenges already, before being lumbered with this condition. Most T1's go through periods of 'burn out' when they feel discouraged by the endless discipline needed to manage Blood Sugar levels, but once it has become a routine part of one's life it really does become a new 'normal'. For him at the moment it is all very new and he may need quite a while to accept and accommodate this new reality, so your care and support can only help him through this phase, even if it seems that in rejecting the diagnosis or rejecting the treatment he is rejecting and rebelling against you. A condition that suddenly requires constant self-monitoring and self discipline is a huge burden for him to have to take on and a radical shift in his identity as a normal healthy person, so the more emotionally secure he is the better equipped he will be to develop healthy coping strategies, and it really does sound like your interactions and efforts are seen as caring by him. Unfortunately there is currently no way to avoid the issue that is at the heart of diabetes management and that is 'control': controlling blood sugar swings to keep them in range; controlling food portion sizes (or carbohydrates specifically); and controlling insulin doses manually; controlling exercise regimens for best use of available energy...etc. On top of all this is the emotional control, trying to accept that one's body is in a sense now 'out of control' and must be managed manually - controlled, having to learn to' take control' of all these variables and answer questions from parents and doctors about how 'Good' or 'Bad' one's 'Diabetic Control' has been, sadly questions which tend to sound like black and white judgements about the person rather than the condition, and divide a complicated range of experience into all Good or all Bad! Negotiating all of this at the same time as feeling that others (parents or nurses) are trying to impose their control over intimate parts of one's own life can be very hard, so expect some rebellion. I think it's admirable that you are aware of the controlling aspect of helping your son. The very fact you ask this question means he is in very good hands, :) so don't give up, there isn't any other way to 'control' T1 other than teaching him and prompting him to take good care of himself. Re the question of good and bad foods you'll find some conflicting advice on whether he should eat high carb foods or avoid them, so you and he will have to make your own judgement call after researching it - lots of info on this forum and elsewhere about T1 and Low carb high fat diet reducing insulin requirements which sadly don't tend to be promoted by the medical establishment. Also as the other forum members have suggested, not just for you but for your son, meeting in person or reading other parents and diabetics stories online can be hugely reassuring. You'll find lots of joking goes on on forums because each desperate issue you raise very soon seems far more trivial when you find that it's been shared by thousands of others just like you.;):) [/QUOTE]
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