Missed miscarriage :(

[GemmaD]

Hi all,

I am a type 1 diabetic. My hba1c was 8.0% when I conceived and though it was higher than I hoped, doctors were pleased with my health. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I started taking 5mg of folic acid daily. At 6 weeks 3 days I had a scan and the nurse said she could see a heartbeat despite my husband and I being unable to identify it on the screen for ourselves. She was pleased with the size of the foetus and said everything looked healthy. Unfortunately, at 9 weeks 1 day I went for another scan but the nurse could not find a heartbeat via external and internal scans. She said she suspects I am having a missed miscarriage. We are absolutely devastated about this. I have not had any bleeding or cramps so I am finding it difficult to process. To add to this, by week 9 my hba1c was down to 7.0% which is a huge achievement for me so now I just keep asking myself 'why has this happened?'. On the day of the scan the foetus measured 9 weeks 1 day which is exactly what it should have been and everything about the pregnancy was normal: gestation sac, yolk sac, sac site, fetal pole, shape etc. My diabetic consultant was pleased with my progress during the pregnancy and has said I couldn't have tried any harder so this is all a bit difficult to deal with. I have booked to have a d&c next Thursday but I have requested to have one final scan just before surgery just incase the heartbeat can now be traced again. Am I being silly? Should I just accept it? The foetus wasn't lying on its back and I've heard it can be difficult to trace a heartbeat when this is the case. Also, my bladder was very, very full so the nurse told me to empty it a little as it was clear the baby was getting slightly squashed. Would this have made a difference to the heartbeat? I'm probably just trying to cling onto hope but I was wondering if anyone else has had any experience of this? Sorry for the really long message!

Thanks x

 

[serenity648]

This happened to my daughter. She is not diabetic. Please accept a hug from a stranger x

 

[GemmaD]

This happened to my daughter. She is not diabetic. Please accept a hug from a stranger x

Thanks serenity648. If you don't mind me asking, did your daughter do through with the d&c in the end? x

 

[serenity648]

no, she had some tablets which made her miscarry : (

however, she had a healthy son the following year. Have some more hugs - it must be so dreadful for you right now. Please dont blame yourself.

 

[himtoo]

just want to add another hug [[[hug]]]

 

[GemmaD]

no, she had some tablets which made her miscarry : (

however, she had a healthy son the following year. Have some more hugs - it must be so dreadful for you right now. Please dont blame yourself.

Thank you. It's always really reassuring to hear about ladies going on to have healthy babies following a miscarriage. I know miscarriage is very, very common but it doesn't make the emotional pain any easier. Well done to your daughter for having the strength to focus on a new pregnancy. Hopefully that will be the same for me x

 

[GemmaD]

just want to add another hug [[[hug]]]

Thank you himtoo

 

[himtoo]

going to tag in @azure , she is a lovely wise person that might help support

 

[kitty55]

Big hugs from me too - it's a horrible situation but happens way more often than people think. I had a MMC last year in May following our first IVF cycle (but was bleeding too so I suspected something was wrong). I went for scans various times and got it confirmed that our baby had died very early on at 6 weeks. I had to have medical management to make me pass everything as I didn't want to wait for my body to do it naturally (it could have taken weeks I was told).
I was thinking about the reasons for weeks and wondering whether it was diabetes related but it isn't. There's loads of non-diabetics it happens to all the time but hardly anyone speaks about it. Take your time to grieve - I was off work for 6 weeks last year and only went back when I was feeling better. It took me a while to be able to live with it but still today I am sometimes wondering what our baby would have looked like etc. - we do have a son now who was born in August so subsequent pregnancies can and do go just fine. Feel free to message me if you want to. Big hugs to you and your other half again xxx

 

[Diakat]

Sweetheart, huge hugs. miscarriage happens in about a quarter of pregnancies and there is nothing you have done wrong. of course it is painful, you have just lost your baby. it does not mean you can't go on to have a family. please take care of yourself and your partner, he needs support too. x

 

[jade88]

Hi GemmaD sorry for what you are going through! The uncertainty at the moment must be very difficult! I had a miscarriage last year at 9 weeks although I had bleeding and cramps which did make it easier to accept! It's easy to think it's the diabetes but it could just be one of those things! I fell pregnant the following month and had a healthy boy in Jan this year! xxx

 

[azure]

Hi @GemmaD - I'm so sorry to hear your news. Please don't blame yourself in any way. Your HbA1C wasn't bad, you were taking folic acid and you were doing everything right {{hugs}}

Sadly, miscarriages are common - in all ladies.

I understand why you're holding onto hope and I know I would do the same. To answer your question - no, it is NOT silly to ask for another scan. I would for sure. It's really, really important that you're certain before you go ahead with a D and C. You need to be convinced before you go ahead with any medical intervention. I feel strongly about that. Don't let yourself be rushed (unless there's an urgent medical reason).

Another big hug - you did nothing wrong, I promise you XXX

 

[Postitnote]

I had a MMC and went on to have a healthy pregnancy the following year.

Miscarriages happen for all sorts of reasons, many of which can not be explained. Hard as it is to accept, sometimes it just happens, and that's as much as you're ever going to know.

I would echo what other people have said; have as many scans as you want and need, so that you are comfortable with the decision to medically manage he miscarriage. I had an ERPC as I wanted it over and done with as quickly as possible so I could move on.

 

[Tilly_S]

Just wanted to say in really sorry to hear your going through this Iv been through it 3 times now and personally for me I put it down to the fact my sugars were out of control ... It upset me but kicked me up the **** when planning again I'm now 12+3 and have my scan next week praying all is ok ofc ... These things happen for different reasons u can't always put a reason on it ....it doesn't mean you cannot go on to have a healthy pregnancy in the future though I keep my fingers crossed for you and hope you are doing well xxx