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<blockquote data-quote="Debmcgee" data-source="post: 623271" data-attributes="member: 107709"><p>Well I'm back from hiding from the big bad world. I've had a major wobble and just could not get back on the wagon. I feel utterly ashamed of myself for running away but I guess I couldn't face up to how ive sabotaged everything I worked so hard for.</p><p></p><p>Life's really taken over and the result was me having my eye taken off the ball because of outside influences. I'm not usually one to be melancholy but I think that's what I was during these last few weeks.</p><p></p><p>School holidays, a psychotic ex husband who revels in my suffering, no money, no motivation and it was just overwhelming. I can't seem to cry which is a shame as it would provide the release I desperately need.</p><p></p><p>It's also time to re-enter the world of work after being a stay at home mum for five years. It's daunting and I'm petrified I won't be good enough. This is all unknown territory for me as I've always been confident professionally and before my girls came along, I had a blossoming career in marketing. Now I feel I'm not good enough for anything.</p><p></p><p>And then there's my back/leg problem. It's getting worse but I finally have a doctors appointment for Monday and I'm hoping they've managed to find my MRI scan results from July. I'm now in my eighth month of excruciating pain and it's time to admit defeat. I just can't carry on like this but I feel like I don't have options.</p><p></p><p>A friend of mine runs a nutrition and fitness company and has offered to show me her ways in return for marketing advice. All good. But for some reason I just don't think I can do it so will put her off. I like Atkins and it took a while to get into it but I know what I'm doing now so it seems silly to add more hassle and pressure to my life right now. I feel like I'll be letting her down if I refuse the kind offer but the timing is off and I won't be successful.</p><p></p><p>So I took my bg this morning - the first time in over a month and was truly horrified - 8.2 so we'll into diabetic range after I had managed to lower it to the 5s <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> I've done this to myself and feel stupid about it. I hopped on the scales and have gained 5kg. I suspect a lot will be water retention cussed by carb overload but it was not nice seeing that number that can't be denied.</p><p></p><p>So here I am, starting over, no more excuses, no more tomorrows. The time is now.</p><p></p><p>Sorry to post my life story but I feel like I need to see it in black and white so it can't be denied....</p><p></p><p>Xxx</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Debmcgee, post: 623271, member: 107709"] Well I'm back from hiding from the big bad world. I've had a major wobble and just could not get back on the wagon. I feel utterly ashamed of myself for running away but I guess I couldn't face up to how ive sabotaged everything I worked so hard for. Life's really taken over and the result was me having my eye taken off the ball because of outside influences. I'm not usually one to be melancholy but I think that's what I was during these last few weeks. School holidays, a psychotic ex husband who revels in my suffering, no money, no motivation and it was just overwhelming. I can't seem to cry which is a shame as it would provide the release I desperately need. It's also time to re-enter the world of work after being a stay at home mum for five years. It's daunting and I'm petrified I won't be good enough. This is all unknown territory for me as I've always been confident professionally and before my girls came along, I had a blossoming career in marketing. Now I feel I'm not good enough for anything. And then there's my back/leg problem. It's getting worse but I finally have a doctors appointment for Monday and I'm hoping they've managed to find my MRI scan results from July. I'm now in my eighth month of excruciating pain and it's time to admit defeat. I just can't carry on like this but I feel like I don't have options. A friend of mine runs a nutrition and fitness company and has offered to show me her ways in return for marketing advice. All good. But for some reason I just don't think I can do it so will put her off. I like Atkins and it took a while to get into it but I know what I'm doing now so it seems silly to add more hassle and pressure to my life right now. I feel like I'll be letting her down if I refuse the kind offer but the timing is off and I won't be successful. So I took my bg this morning - the first time in over a month and was truly horrified - 8.2 so we'll into diabetic range after I had managed to lower it to the 5s :( I've done this to myself and feel stupid about it. I hopped on the scales and have gained 5kg. I suspect a lot will be water retention cussed by carb overload but it was not nice seeing that number that can't be denied. So here I am, starting over, no more excuses, no more tomorrows. The time is now. Sorry to post my life story but I feel like I need to see it in black and white so it can't be denied.... Xxx [/QUOTE]
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