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<blockquote data-quote="Snapsy" data-source="post: 1592374" data-attributes="member: 265172"><p>I really struggle with plans and lists and targets. I'm an absolute perfectionist and if things go even slightly off piste I absolutely <em>loathe</em> myself.</p><p></p><p>In terms of everyday life, a while back I ditched the 'to do' list approach, with a 'done' list. It was enlightening! Okay, so some of the things that would have made it on to the 'to do' list got forgotten as - of course - they weren't ON a list - but looking at the list of things I'd 'done' at the end of every day was absolutely brilliant! There was no 'I didn't do that - BOTHER' going on.</p><p></p><p>As far as actual goals and targets are concerned, there's perhaps rather more to it than writing a list, but I find it makes for a more relaxing, less sense of 'failure' kind of life if I remind myself that if I can be the best 'me' I can, that can only pay dividends, and I try (!) to be kind to myself.</p><p></p><p>A recent goal of mine was to be 'a runner'. I am a runner, in that I run. But I felt I was 'failing' so, so badly. Not going as fast as I wanted. Not looking gorgeous and athletic (yup, shallow!). And HURTING every time I tried it. So I've cut back on reading running websites, started reminding myself of why I want to do it, and for the last two sessions I have been taking it very very slowly, without injuring myself for once, and yet STILL calling myself a runner.......... So that, in its way, is success!</p><p></p><p>Bit off piste, this reply - sorry, [USER=408573]@Guzzler[/USER], but it's not always all about a precise 'this HAS to happen in THIS way'.</p><p></p><p>If 40 is not realistic at the moment, pick another number. And when you've reached that number, pick a new one. Before long you will find you've smashed that 40. Make each journey between goals a small and achievable one. For example, 55 to 40 is a big step. 55 to 53 less so. Ditto 53 to 51. And so on. Smaller goals do not equal smaller triumphs! It's a process.</p><p></p><p>Big love,</p><p></p><p>Snapsy xxx</p><p>(Tortoise, not hare. Happy at the back.)</p><p><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Snapsy, post: 1592374, member: 265172"] I really struggle with plans and lists and targets. I'm an absolute perfectionist and if things go even slightly off piste I absolutely [I]loathe[/I] myself. In terms of everyday life, a while back I ditched the 'to do' list approach, with a 'done' list. It was enlightening! Okay, so some of the things that would have made it on to the 'to do' list got forgotten as - of course - they weren't ON a list - but looking at the list of things I'd 'done' at the end of every day was absolutely brilliant! There was no 'I didn't do that - BOTHER' going on. As far as actual goals and targets are concerned, there's perhaps rather more to it than writing a list, but I find it makes for a more relaxing, less sense of 'failure' kind of life if I remind myself that if I can be the best 'me' I can, that can only pay dividends, and I try (!) to be kind to myself. A recent goal of mine was to be 'a runner'. I am a runner, in that I run. But I felt I was 'failing' so, so badly. Not going as fast as I wanted. Not looking gorgeous and athletic (yup, shallow!). And HURTING every time I tried it. So I've cut back on reading running websites, started reminding myself of why I want to do it, and for the last two sessions I have been taking it very very slowly, without injuring myself for once, and yet STILL calling myself a runner.......... So that, in its way, is success! Bit off piste, this reply - sorry, [USER=408573]@Guzzler[/USER], but it's not always all about a precise 'this HAS to happen in THIS way'. If 40 is not realistic at the moment, pick another number. And when you've reached that number, pick a new one. Before long you will find you've smashed that 40. Make each journey between goals a small and achievable one. For example, 55 to 40 is a big step. 55 to 53 less so. Ditto 53 to 51. And so on. Smaller goals do not equal smaller triumphs! It's a process. Big love, Snapsy xxx (Tortoise, not hare. Happy at the back.) :) [/QUOTE]
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