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<blockquote data-quote="kyrani99" data-source="post: 522804" data-attributes="member: 104710"><p>I disagree with you. Certainly there are co-dependent relationship. In such cases either one or both parties are toxic. However the non-toxic party may not recognize the problem because the toxic party is two-faced.</p><p></p><p>”There is no relationship that can't be ended if necessary, apart from parent to dependent non-adult child. “</p><p>There are plenty of relationships that are toxic and the non-toxic party trapped. There are plenty of reasons for being unable to leave or unable to leave in the short term. For instance, co-workers that are bullies, bosses that are bullies. Yes you get another job but that can’t happen overnight. A person might take a year to find another suitable job. You might have a family to support or dependents of some sort and you can’t just walk out of a job. Then there is the case of a spouse’s parents being toxic or at least unfriendly. What do you do? Get a divorce and leave someone that you love or at least get along with, split up your family and disadvantage your children? No. You have to deal with the in-laws somehow. There are many and various relationships and the solutions are complex in some cases. You can’t expect someone to just leave.</p><p>“then correct boundary skills need to be applied. ………..clearly stating what behaviours are unacceptable”</p><p>This is naïve. The person who is hateful means to be hateful and if they are in a position which they can exploit they will. You can’t reason with these people. If you have to put up with them for some time then you have to find some way to defend yourself. Certainly you don’t maintain relationships such as friendships with toxic people. Those you can leave and there is nothing holding you back from doing that.</p><p>“(some people see toxic relationships everywhere but are just projecting their own poor relationship skills)</p><p>In the Western world the person victimized is always blamed and looked down on and if they complain then they are just projecting. It is true of a woman being bashed as much as a child or someone elderly being abused. People look down on the victim, they see the person victimized as being at fault. This is the Western disease and the reason why the level of violence in society, especially at the domestic level, schools and the workplace gets worse every year; And all of them supposedly “just projecting” if they speak up. We disintegrate as a society if this continues.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kyrani99, post: 522804, member: 104710"] I disagree with you. Certainly there are co-dependent relationship. In such cases either one or both parties are toxic. However the non-toxic party may not recognize the problem because the toxic party is two-faced. ”There is no relationship that can't be ended if necessary, apart from parent to dependent non-adult child. “ There are plenty of relationships that are toxic and the non-toxic party trapped. There are plenty of reasons for being unable to leave or unable to leave in the short term. For instance, co-workers that are bullies, bosses that are bullies. Yes you get another job but that can’t happen overnight. A person might take a year to find another suitable job. You might have a family to support or dependents of some sort and you can’t just walk out of a job. Then there is the case of a spouse’s parents being toxic or at least unfriendly. What do you do? Get a divorce and leave someone that you love or at least get along with, split up your family and disadvantage your children? No. You have to deal with the in-laws somehow. There are many and various relationships and the solutions are complex in some cases. You can’t expect someone to just leave. “then correct boundary skills need to be applied. ………..clearly stating what behaviours are unacceptable” This is naïve. The person who is hateful means to be hateful and if they are in a position which they can exploit they will. You can’t reason with these people. If you have to put up with them for some time then you have to find some way to defend yourself. Certainly you don’t maintain relationships such as friendships with toxic people. Those you can leave and there is nothing holding you back from doing that. “(some people see toxic relationships everywhere but are just projecting their own poor relationship skills) In the Western world the person victimized is always blamed and looked down on and if they complain then they are just projecting. It is true of a woman being bashed as much as a child or someone elderly being abused. People look down on the victim, they see the person victimized as being at fault. This is the Western disease and the reason why the level of violence in society, especially at the domestic level, schools and the workplace gets worse every year; And all of them supposedly “just projecting” if they speak up. We disintegrate as a society if this continues. [/QUOTE]
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