Search
Search titles only
By:
Search titles only
By:
Home
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
Search
Search titles only
By:
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Install the app
Install
Reply to Thread
Guest, we'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the
Diabetes Forum Survey 2024 »
Home
Forums
Diabetes Discussion
Type 2 Diabetes
Reversing Diabetes Online Summit
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Spiker" data-source="post: 522814" data-attributes="member: 102150"><p>What zand recognises, and you don't seem to recognise, is that the world is not divided into saints and demons, where by an odd coincidence 'we' are always the saints and 'they' are always the demons. </p><p></p><p>In fact all bad relationships are caused to some extent by both parties, both parties have a responsibility, if only the responsibility to state and enforce good boundaries. Zand is right to recognise triggers that indicate a risk of unhealthy relationships with some people. It is emotionally immature to describe those people as being intrinsically toxic. It is the relationship which is toxic, and the relationship is the product of the characteristics of both people in it, not just one 'toxic' person. </p><p></p><p>The mythology of 'toxic people' is a defence mechanism, a splitting mechanism, for people who are unable to cope with their own responsibility for their own relationships. Zand's view on this is very healthy and mature. Kyrani, you come across as being hurt, angry, vengeful and inappropriately attached to the people who you feel have harmed you. Talk of justice is an attachment, clinging to the past, it doesn't help anyone heal or move on. What is vital is to let the other person go out of your mind and emotions, while accepting responsibility for your own part of the relationship problem. Your own responsibility is the only thing you should carry forward with you, so you can resolve it yourself. The other person's responsibility is their issue, you can't control it, you can't get "justice", you just need to let go. You also need to realise they are a person, just like you, liable to make mistakes, just trying to be happy. </p><p></p><p>Sent from the <a href="http://www.diabetes.co.uk/app/?utm_source=sig&utm_medium=txt&utm_campaign=appsig" target="_blank">Diabetes Forum App</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Spiker, post: 522814, member: 102150"] What zand recognises, and you don't seem to recognise, is that the world is not divided into saints and demons, where by an odd coincidence 'we' are always the saints and 'they' are always the demons. In fact all bad relationships are caused to some extent by both parties, both parties have a responsibility, if only the responsibility to state and enforce good boundaries. Zand is right to recognise triggers that indicate a risk of unhealthy relationships with some people. It is emotionally immature to describe those people as being intrinsically toxic. It is the relationship which is toxic, and the relationship is the product of the characteristics of both people in it, not just one 'toxic' person. The mythology of 'toxic people' is a defence mechanism, a splitting mechanism, for people who are unable to cope with their own responsibility for their own relationships. Zand's view on this is very healthy and mature. Kyrani, you come across as being hurt, angry, vengeful and inappropriately attached to the people who you feel have harmed you. Talk of justice is an attachment, clinging to the past, it doesn't help anyone heal or move on. What is vital is to let the other person go out of your mind and emotions, while accepting responsibility for your own part of the relationship problem. Your own responsibility is the only thing you should carry forward with you, so you can resolve it yourself. The other person's responsibility is their issue, you can't control it, you can't get "justice", you just need to let go. You also need to realise they are a person, just like you, liable to make mistakes, just trying to be happy. Sent from the [url=http://www.diabetes.co.uk/app/?utm_source=sig&utm_medium=txt&utm_campaign=appsig]Diabetes Forum App[/url] [/QUOTE]
Verification
Post Reply
Home
Forums
Diabetes Discussion
Type 2 Diabetes
Reversing Diabetes Online Summit
Top
Bottom
Find support, ask questions and share your experiences. Ad free.
Join the community »
This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.
Accept
Learn More.…