4 yr Diaversary

August 15th is Khaleb's 4 year diaversary! Although I am proud of my achievement I must say a little bit of depression seeps in at the same time. The memory of being flown to a large hospital by the Royal Flying Doctor Service and sitting by Khaleb's bed in the intensive care ward that happened to overlook the Royal Show. I packed in such a hurry I didn't have my handbag/money with me so went hungry and had completely inappropiate footwear and clothing for Winter and the length of time I was to be away from home. I remember reality hitting me as we were moved to the ward and breaking down. I'd had some pretty bad things happen in a year I wish I could forget. In the end I listened to the advice of living one day at a time and that is still what I do today. It is strange to never dream far into the future or have some goal in life, I just exist in my own organised little bubble. Prior to diabetes I lived with a sliver of hope that Khaleb would have the ability to achieve even semi-independence. Diabetes made me give up my own life (and plenty of sleep) to care for another and also live with guilt about not being there for my older son who has been nothing but a trooper. I don't believe God only gives special children to those parents who deserve them, you are forced to cope whether you like it or not.

It is hard to know how Khaleb is coping. He doesn't know any other life. There must be some scarring from the medical intervention that invades his life as when a medical show was on the TV the other day Khaleb sat with a terrified look on his face and started pulling his sleeves down over his elbows for fear of getting a blood test. I turned it off.

Thanks for your lovely replies.