Hi Kim,
What a tough call! I am Type 1 myself, and I have a nearly 2 year old, who is not diabetic...but I recognise teh moody description all right! I was daignosed at 4 years old...many, many years ago! In teh bad old days, I was on a fixed dose of insulin, and learnt to carb count. My Mum used to have lots of guidebooks about it, saying things like, "an egg sized potatoe is 10 grams of carbohydrate. This approach has changed over the years, and I now eat almost what I want...not quite, but with a lot more freedom than I used to have, and then inject the right amount of insulin to balance this. To do this though, you have to be on a basal bolus regime..ie 2 types of insulin, long acting and short acting, that takes care of your meals so to speak. YOu say that you little one is on 2 injections a day, so she doesn't have this freedom...this is not a bad thing though as it can be quite tricky when you are a rational adult, not a tot! I guess, (although this is my opinion, and as much as I can tell from your post...I am no expert!!)that in your daughters case it is more simple to make sure that she gets the same amount of carbohydrate each day. How much is basically trial and error. Just as reference, at teh age of 4, I was on 25 grms for breakfast, 10 grams for a snack, 25 grams for lunch, 10 for a midafternoon snack, 25 for evening meal, and 10 for supper. I am not saying this ideal...and it depends on insulin etc, but might help as a starting point.
Now, and I write this as a Mum, and not a diabetic...toddlers can be picky, and change their minds as to what food they like at the drop of a hat...so do not beat yourself up if it doesn't go to plan. As far as shopping goes, there aren't many things that are "not allowed". Obviously, sweets are best avoided, but she can have them occasionally, if they are part of a snack/meal etc. Plain bisuits are fine too...basically, she eats what you eat...you just need to watch her carbohydrate intake. Say evening meal tonight is the toddler classic, fishfingers and beans...fine! Beans do have quite a lot of carbohydrate in them, so "pudding" should be low carb...melon and a bit of yogurt etc. If you are planning a "big pudding" meal...crumble or the like, then the first course should be low carb...fish, green veg, eggs etc.
Your daughter will grow up to think that you are an absolute hero! I am in constant awe of my own Mum...coping with me and my diabetes muct have been so difficult. She does laugh when my own daughter is being "strong willed" and says..now you know how I felt! The only thing that my Mum did, that looking back, was not a good thing was making some food "forbidden". She was right of course...chocolate alas, is not a health food for anybody. She did her best, and would get me "diabetic chocolate" (which is worse for your health that the usual stuff by the way, and really should be avoided, but we didn't know that in 1982). Of course, when I hit my teens, I rebelled against this, and had a few years of bad health because of it. Limiting the bad (ie yummy stuff!) is perhaps wiser than restricting it totally.
Not sure this has helped much...and I know I have rambled, but if I can help, please let me know!
Jill