You're definitely not alone. The strangest things can affect what timing is needed. My big one is cheese - pasta in cheese sauce needs a bolus after I eat, the same pasta in tomato sauce needs a bolus as or before I eat. Oh, and another big factor in timing the bolus is how hydrated I am (and that one took a while to figure out).
We're all different.
On rereading: a known side effect (but not terribly common) of diabetes is gastroparesis, i.e. your stomach empties considerably slower than normal, and your carbs hit the bloodstream as glucose in a slower and longer peak. Usually comes with severe heartburn and reflux though, which you haven't said are happening.