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Can't be bothered anymore..



Hi Kieshamarie, I know what you mean. I at the moment feel so despondent. Was at my 3 monthly check the other day: my HBA1C is down to 71, my weight is down to 13st 4lbs, my BMI is down to 29 = I am no longer "clinically obese" just FAT now so the diabetic nurse told me!! I will go back in late October for my next 3 monthly check up, and it was suggested perhaps I could loose a stone, get my HBA1C down more. I left there today feeling quite depressed - I never got any praise for my efforts. And I still BLAME the Insulin that caused my weight gain in the first place. I am Type 2 (had it 15 years now) went onto Insulin just over a year ago.
 
type 1 for 26 yrs now I find its a constant cycle of dealing with it, hitting rebellion, just making through that day etc etc, diabetes in itself can be quite depressing and that's without any extra complications!! mine has been in a rut since my son turned 6 months old... he is 4 in a few weeks!! defo dont get the support in cornwall... it sucks... it all sucks!! so fed up of being a pin cushion and no matter what I do seeming to get nothing but being bitched at by my doc/specialist nurse, i've finally after 2 years of asking been referred to a specialist consultant who I will see beginning of sept hopefully he will make some real effort to help me!! but yeah totally get you, there are plenty of days I wonder why I bother!!! you are a million miles from being alone on this!!
 
hey just wondering what insulin you moved on to as I use levemire at the min but it doesn't seem to do anything especially overnight for me anymore!!
 
All the time, but I try to be as upbeat as I can. My biggest problem is I get annoyed very quickly.
I never had a bad temper, but people get me down monitoring me. They are probably right, but I don't like to be controlled even though they mean well. I think I'm still in denial, and I can do what I like. In other words I'm stupid.
 

I'm very the same I hate people Looking after me I'll ignore people or get snappy with anyone that wants to help and I know I shouldn't but it's the way I am.
 
I'm the same as a lot of you guys but my medical team is shocking! Like my 3 monthly check is in October but I haven't heard from my nurse I don't even know her name that's how bad it is..they're ***** if I'm honest and any time I go to the hospital they just moan like over and over since starting this new job I've lost nearly 3 stone and my control has been so much better but I'll have a few bad readings around ,y period (sorry tmi) but the nurse will just moan about them rather than actually say to me well done for loosing weight or getting control and that just adds to me giving up and thinking there's no point but I know there is obviously. Urgh people without diabetes just don't understand
 
Stay upbeat keishamarie. Don't let it beat you. I'm beginning to think the temper thing is a symptom.
For most of my life I never was ill at all; and this just pisses me off at times. But the agro goes, as yours will, at least 'til next time.
 
I think mood swings must be part of it, well that's what I tell myself haha thank you for your comments they have really helped xx
 
hughsey said:
Am going to ask about a CGM, and I've tried several insurance companies about funding me. I have a busy job with long hours and sometimes don't have the time to finger pricking.
Click to expand...
I really hope that it becomes available on the NHS. Not so much because of the cost, but for the following reasons:

1. It will save money - short term in less testing strips being used, longer term in considerably fewer ambulances and A&E having to cope with hypos
2. OK, maybe a bit to do with cost, it's very expensive...
3. It allows me to live a nearly normal life, and would thus by extrapolation make everybody a bit calmer about that whole "diabetes as a liability" issue

Sooner or later, someone in NICE will see sense (due to an epiphany or, more likely, due to lower costs), but until then I will highly recommend getting one if at all within your reach
 
I am coming up to 4 years and am already there, I am currently trying to sort myself.out though as i would like to get ready to start trying for.kids so really need to man up and.get on with it... blergh haha
 
I know exactly how you feel. Ive been diabetic for 20 yeats and ive always let it control me but ive bern talking to a phycoligist through my diabetes centre and by doing that and making some changes all be it small ones its helped.
 

definately not the only one, been dealing with type 1 for 21 years now and im at a point where i just dont see the point anymore, i did everything right when i was younger, and a combination of neuropathy, retinopathy and a recent bout of bells palsy have given me a kick in the teeth, i see others who've thrown caution to the wind, took drugs, drank themselves into a stupor on a regular basis and even people who've had it longer than me and still not looked after it that are in a better situation medically then i am after looking after myself by the book, diabetes is one of those conditions that pushes you towards not caring about it because the effects are personal to you, and the long term effects can come into effect at any time, i knew one day i would probably suffer the side-effects, i always knew, but to be hit this early is a kick in the theeth from life, your definately not the only one :/
 
I can totally understand this feeling of giving up x I'm insulin resistant and have tried all types of injections Victosa, byetta, novo rapid, levemir now on Humalog Mix 50 3 times daily with metformin nothing seems to work! it's good to be able to vent and not feel judged there are a lot of diabetes non experts who tell me what to do ie eat etc it gets me down I feel controlled by them and the diabetes (I know they mean well though) I'm new to posting on here too, I saw your post and thought that's so familiar to me too, keep chatting we can take charge of this x
 
You have to take control in your hands. This is your life. Why you are seeking help of family or friends. Be strong. Do not waste this valuable life?
 
I've felt like this a couple of times, where I've gotten to the point where you're literally crying yourself to sleep, you feel so alone because you feel like no one understands you, you cant get to your appointments because they're too far away, you just cant seem to get your bg right and you don't want to go to counselling because you don't have the time or money to do so. I just want a break! Day in day out of injections, finger pricks and "ooh I best not eat that" WELL I **** WELL WANT TO EAT IT!!!! why cant I just be normal, why can't I watch Netflix and eat half a tub of ben and jerrys? I just want to eat what I want without taking five injections a day :/ It controls everything I do, but sometimes I just feel like giving up...
 
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Alexander st Clair
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Keishamarie: I have been a Diabetic since the age of 9 months old. The way it happened was incredibly traumatic that I still have flashbacks to this day. I was in a daycare center and was a young baby still at this point I was a suborn child and di not sleep so the care staff took to overdosing me and a few other children with high amounts of Asprin doses to try to make us sleep.

This lead to me being comatose for 2 months of my new life whilst my whole body tried to shutdown I ended up spending the next 3 years of my life battling almost every childhood infection known to man. At one point I was under treatment for four different strands of viruses leading to surgery's and multiple drips and hourly infections immunizations.

But the true struggle I have had to face was during my education when a few members of my class used to force me to eat sugars so I would fit and fight other pupils. This lead to even more time in my least favorite place (hospital) I found that with my now 25.2 years experience with it, I found no one cares for you let alone some times understanding it and the only ones that do are the ones closest to you mum dad etc ( excluding partners) and this is all down to people being ill informed and uneducated. My relationship I am busy in took turns for the worst just because of the mood swings and side effects it gave me. I am now doing really well because like you I hated it, Blamed it, Suffered it and dam well couldn't stand it. I put my self in hospital trying to end what I thought was the worst life I had to suffer. but back last year I took a course with a brilliant set of people called BERTI. It has changed my life for ever because now I have control over it. I used to be a two dose a day Diabetic on Humalog moved onto the multiple injection.

At first it was hard to get to grips with but the secret is really simple inject before you eat, it was that simple but it took me a long time to stop lying to myself and others saying I did it all perfectly I just don't have results cause a. b. c etc but when I went to the group and I saw actual results and felt a difference in my self & now see it. That's when it all changed for me. I hope you can like me pick your self up out of the dust and start a new. I wish you the best I truly do. More than that I hope that we can become good friends and maybe just maybe I can help you like I helped myself
 

Yo I feel ya mate, I get tired of Diabetes and I've had it 23 years... I'm only 26 but I've also had depression for years. However, putting off injecting and getting high glucose even for a short time is actually going to make any tiredness or lack of desire to do things worse.

I wouldn't advise it, but if you get high glucose, don't inject and see how ****** you feel... I know you know how that feels. Not fun is it? The harsh reality is that you have to put the effort in otherwise the consequences come earlier and if you end up being happy and sorting your life out, you'll have a huge guilt hanging over you and you'll be hitting yourself saying "why did I not take better care of myself?".

I've had drusen (lipids & mineralisation) building up at the back of my eyes, in fairly small amounts over the last 2 years and while my vision is still perfect it's a sign that my hit and miss level of care is already having an effect.

I know how it is when depressed, you don't care and it's hard to accept what people say and agree with it, but what other reality can you have?

It's a choice between:

Go blind and lose limbs prematurely and severe your chances of happiness and forever be filled with regret.

OR

Push yourself during times of depression just in case you find a way out of said depression and thus be healthy so when you find happiness you'll not be filled with regret.

It sucks I know but that's the reality of it. I highly suggest you join some depression forums, such as Psych Central and get some help. You already know that when you're in a more positive mood it is easier to manage Diabetes and fins the will to do so.
 
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