Denial

That's it look at it that way if it kicks you into taking your condition more seriously! I was the same diabetes completely out of control and ignored it for a good while as got fed up with it all. Then said to myself I want to keep my feet and my toes and if I didn't pay attention to my condition that I would end up in hospital or worse! So got my head in gear!

Some of us find that posting regularly makes us feel accountable, even if it's to ourselves. Some post their fasting bg, some what they've eaten, others their weight. Some add chat, some dont
Have a look round and see what might help you

I hear you @Amylouh0 - at least with thinking about your son. For me - a big motivating force is wanting to be around and fit for any future grandchildren. My adult kids are very aware of this. I do add that by grandchildren I mean any children in their life, however come by, etc etc. DNA shared not important .

I think thinking of your son is a mighty fine motivation. I was very happy to send my kids a T2D-and-me email update, when I was able to get back into the intermediate hyperglycemia zone again (HBA1c between 40 and 49 is intermediate hyperglycemia, once been diagnosed as type two...) (doesn't make much sense to go from diabetes to prediabetes!) Very positive to have motivations like this for sure.

Can I suggest journaling? However you want to put feelings into words. Or blogging (you can do it in here!) I started an old-fashioned physical journal, for writing in, in a hardback book. I include thoughts, feelings about the diabetes, books on it I have read/reading, things in here, and - all my blood glucose readings, new foods to eat and meter, my exericise/activity etc etc. Experiments, HBA1c results - the lot! For you it will be up close and personal with your meds? I have a nice wee pile of journals now, after eight years. And they come in rather handy when looking back over time on one's diabetic reality etc etc. Anyway. Journaling your experiences and progress, and otherwise, is a might fine motivation too, imho. Could help?