Depression

Hi, sounds like you're going through a bad patch! The good thing is that deep down, you know that you can't let things slide and that you need to tighten up your control and keep yourself well. It does get very boring, and for myself, I find I keep tighter control when I don't think about diabetes too much, and just relax into a routine - just like brushing my teeth in the morning and before bed, I inject before I eat and before bed. When I can keep the disease in a small part of my brain and confine it to a routine, it doesn't take up so much of my life!

When you were pregnant, you managed brilliantly - probably because the fact of being pregnant was more significant than having diabetes. If you could keep your HBA1C at 6 during pregnancy, you can do it now. You titled your post 'Depression', and maybe you need to talk to your GP about the way you are feeling, especially if you feel that things are really out of control. Looking after a toddler is demanding and tiring, and you may feel that there are too many things to juggle with, so you put yourself and the diabetes at the bottom of the list, but the reality is that controlling your diabetes is the key to managing your life and being stable enough to cope with the demands of caring for Oscar!

I hope things improve for you soon - instead of telling yourself that you have 'failed' on the days that you don't get things right, try and tell yourself that you'll do better tomorrow. Good luck.

MelanieL said:

I hope things improve for you soon - instead of telling yourself that you have 'failed' on the days that you don't get things right, try and tell yourself that you'll do better tomorrow. Good luck.

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this is good advice, and I'd go even further - think about what you've already achieved. You're already achieving so much! I'm so impressed that you managed to get your hba1c down so dramatically in pregnancy. I'm always impressed by any of us who manage to handle diabetes AND kids - both are so exhausting. It's totally reasonable that you feel tired out and depressed and it's totally reasonable to ask for help.
Another thing to remember is that in the big diabetes trials they found that those who got their hba1c down to 7.2 (and you did even better than that) are still at less risk of complications for years afterwards, even if they couldn't manage to keep to 7.2 all the time. So you will continue to reap the benefits of your low hb1ac during pregnancy, even if things have slipped a little since Oscar was born. I'm not saying give up - you need to keep yourself well as MelanieL says - I'm just saying don't beat yourself up if you can't get the perfect bloods.
Good luck

Hey,
I totally agree with what everyone has said above, I feel guilty most days- I feel guilty if I even consider eating that slice of cake, or after I've eaten that slice of cake then get my sugar high and then feel too 'overwhelmed' and ''exhausted' to bother with injecting, it really is one of the most horrible vicious cycles, and it's so hard trying to communicate just how relentless and hard a task it can be sometimes to someone who doesnt suffer.
It's an annoying thing to have to say but for now, just battle on and hopefully one day they will find us type 1's a cure!! x