Hi there
Reading your post reminds me a bit of me! I am suspected MODY, got diagnosed in 1992 but didn't want to know, I also had issues with weight gain and found that if I underdosed on my meds I could keep my weight down. I also never tested myself as I just did not want to admit that I was diabetic.
Fast forward 20 years and I am beginning to see the damage I've done to myself. I had a vitreous haemorrhage the other week due to advanced proliferative retinopathy, blood dripping into my eye and clouding my vision, and it was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. Suddenly I didn't give a **** what my weight was - i just wanted to be able to see properly again.
Now I am facing the fact that I have damaged my eyes, may lose my driving license due to the laser, may not be able to get pregnant again.
At the time when I was inflicting all the damage though, it didn't feel like it would ever end up like this!
I manaaged to get some counselling on the NHS which helped me a lot, but it was only when I got in real trouble with my eyes that I really began to take things seriously. It began by admitting I was a diabetic - my body doesn't work properly as I can't metabolise carbs (without meds) and will never be able to. Once I got over the unfairness of that (a delayed emotional response that I never had in the denial years) then I began to accept it and respect it.
Please sort yourself out before your eyes get bad. Retinopathy is a vicious beast, do not underestimate it! My left eye was fine until six months ago and then - boom - went crazy with proliferation (new vessels) and I'm now having to have a vitrectomy to save it.
I have found this forum to be of immense help in my diabetic journey, it felt like I was on my own before, but this is a friendly site and there's nothing like seeing other people cope with what you have to make you believe you can do it too!