Don't know where to turn... hence me posting on here!

Hi jessie,

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low.

Have you tried writing down what you would like to say to your partner and letting him read it? We often think that we cannot overcome obstacles but there is usually a solution. Nobody else can read your thoughts so if you don't open up then who will know?

As to the housing/financial worries, there are free services out there that can help. Could you speak to someone about it? This orgnization is very good at helping people and are non judgemental.

http://www.stepchange.org/Changinglives.aspx

You have to face what is going on as the more you ignore it then the bigger it gets. The stress builds up and up until you either explode with uncontrollable anger or become ill.
Ask yourself what is the worse thing that can happen if you share your worries with other people?
Hope this helps in a small way, do keep posting as it may help to read answers to your dilemmas and well done on the blood sugars.

(((((hugs)))))

CC.

Bit hard for him to know you're unhappy if you don't tell him. Guys are t good at reading between the lines

jessie said:

Thank you for your reply Catherine, it means a lot! I am going to write down everything I'm feeling, but I don't know if I'll have the courage to give it to OH. This has been going on for so long it will almost be like giving him a list of why he makes me unhappy, which is horrible as he's not a bad person! And I really want us to stay as a family so I'm scared about what will happen when I open up. I have a good group of friends who would tell me off for not opening up to them, but I just can't, maybe I don't want to face up to reality and pretend everything's fine.

Thanks again and also for the link. x

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Hi again,

There is an art in how you word things. Any sentences that include YOU will make your partner feel defensive as he will see it as a personal attack.

I really do not know your grievances but here are some examples:-

YOU don't help me with xyz.
I find that I am expected to cope with xyz on my own and would appreciate some help.

You ignore me when I need your input about financial matters.
I get upset when I feel ignored about sorting out finances.

You don't help enough with household chores.
Let's make a rota for household chores so that we can have more time together.

I am sure that you can see what I mean and hope it helps.

CC.

jack412 said:

Guys are t good at reading between the lines

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Sometimes they (we) can't even see the lines we're meant to be reading between (that's actually a song lyric!).

Good luck with it Jessie.

I cannot give better advice than whats above, I will say as someone who has trouble expressing herself I find putting it on paper so much easier, also fair dues most men are absolutely oblivious, bless their cottons women we pick up on alot its how we are engineered, as my mum said "the way men think its more mate, woman, food, bashy stick." bit harsh in my opinion but I think she was trying to say don't over estimate their empathic skills.
I hope it goes well and your little girl is adorable, I wish you the best.

jessie said:

Thank you, she's an angel (well a little monkey actually!), keeps me going! Even if I put this into writing for my own benefit it will help as I'm just bottling things up at the moment. He does keep asking me if I'm OK but I say 'I'm fine' as us women do, and he doesn't question it, ha ha.

xxx

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I work in psychiatry and a psychiatrist's interpretation of fine is

****** up.
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional

He would rather people say I'm good, I feel like **** or anything else that does not include fine.

Urban dictionary.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=I'm fine

Your post reminded me and sorry if it is not relevant to you.

[Mod edit for thinly veiled obscenity.]