Hi Cheryl
Please dont be so upset, it does take some time before you achieve control of this diabetes thing, a lot of it is trial and error and I think almost all of us have been experiencing the same or very similar problems to the ones that you are trying to deal with now.
Dont feel a failure Cheryl, you are anything but, you are sensible by trying to sort things out best as you can, I wish I had been like that, instead I was a prat and thought very clever by ignoring and rebelling against my diabetes diagnosis. So give yourself credit for doing your best to address this issue.
As Sarah says, having to take medication in order to achieve good control of your bg is never ever a failure, some people just need that extra bit of help, stay fairly low carb and you might only need the minimum dosage anyway and it might not even be forever, I lost weight, did initially very low carb then gradually built up carb intake but I managed to stop my meds again, so far so good, still get no guarantee that it will always stay this way, but I am not stressing, take it as it comes.
Please dont stress, because this extra worry, this extra forcing youself to walk all that way to work and back is not a relaxing pleasurable kind of exercise but more like a stressful hard work type, that too can raise your bg.
Dont feel guilty for not being able to go extremely low carb, all fine if you can manage, but if you cannot then dont worry over it either, its a personal thing and you should do things only if you are comfortable with them. You are doing ok Cheryl, its early days yet, you will see it will become easier eventually, I promise.
I hope all goes well with your appointment, come back and let us know the outcome.
Big comforting hug for you
Karen x