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Feeling ashamed and low

P

Pumpkinbum34

Member
Messages
8
Location
London
Hi Everyone,

Hope you are all keeping well. It has been a while since I last posted, I think it was sometime back in September, and things were working out pretty well for me but all of a sudden I feel as though I have been turned upside down. It all started just before Christmas. My Bloods were regularly hitting between 5 and 9 and I was taking less and less Basal and using my Novo rapid three times a day. At this point my DSN gave me a new monitor which worked out my bolusl for me based on my carbs which I thought was great. I started with my new regime and was happily getting on with life despite the diabetes.

I then lost my home before Christmas due to my husband being out of work but got sorted for new year and moved in to new home. But my bloods started to creep up and I found myself hitting 16+ quite regularly, I battled to keep it under control with Insulin and diet but still struggled to hit anything below a 12. My father then suddenly died three weeks ago and ever since my bloods are constantly in the 20's even reaching 32 at one stage and needing to seek medical advice. Alongside this, I am very symptomatic, thirsty, needing to wee a lot,thrush and today I was horrified to discover I had wet the bed!

I just dont know what to do at the moment, I feel so low, my DNS is never available so I am managing alone most of the time and I feel as though diabetes is controlling my life, as for wetting the bed...I am 35 years old!! I feel so ashamed and unattractive that I am even pushing my hubby away and feel so lost and alone and much worse than I did when I was first diagnosed.

I am watching my carbs, active most of the time but yet the bloods are out of control....is it something I am doing?? could stress be a cause??

Sorry to ramble but I really dont know what to do and I just feel like crying!

Hugs,

Izzy x
 
Hi Izzy

That's a really bad time you've had to go through over the last few months. It's no wonder you're down and your bloods aren't right. I can't help you with advice on the insulin as I'm Type 2 but I expect some of the Type 1's will be along soon to try and help you out.

I lost my mother just under a year ago and it takes some time to even begin to get over it. The grief you are feeling and all of the other stress you've gone through is undoubtedly a lot to do with what's going on with your bloods.

Even though it all seems bad at the moment it will get better in time. You've been very brave to post your feelings so that's a really positive thing you've done. Keep posting and let us know how you are getting on.

Take care
 
Hi
Obviously from what you've written, you fully understand the implications of continued high BS readings so I don't see much point going into that. However, only a few weeks back I was chatting to my diabetes specialist nurse (who, I'm glad to say is always able to spare a little time to go through my concerns) regarding the effects of stress on blood sugar readings. She was interested to know how stress might affect me as part of a study she is doing.
I can tell you that, for me, there are two types of stress that have completely opposite effects on my readings.

1. The long term stress. This I would class as things such as money worries, job security, health problems and family crises. This type of stress slowly increases my blood sugar levels, making control become more difficult over a sustained period of time.
2. The short term or instant stress. The things that might be in this type include an argument, road-rage, an accident at home or sudden bad news. These things seem to create a type of adrenalin rush, which is followed by a sudden drop in my blood sugars, bringing on a very quick hypo that can take a good 45 minutes to bring back my BS levels to anything near right.

I would suggest that given the recent history you've mentioned, my BS levels would also have become high and difficult to control or predict, as all that you mention would be in my first category of stress. I hope that you would be able to get to see your GP regarding the stress, even if they can only offer you someone to talk to. But I think that you need to persist with your DSN, as to me this all seems so obvious that stress has got plenty to do with your problems and with a little help, it can be sorted before it has more serious repercussions.

Regards,
 


Dear Izzy,

I think it has taken great courage for you to write this all here. You have been through more stress than I can possibly imagine. Losing your home, moving home and being bereaved are all massive stresses. It is no wonder that your blood sugars are so high. First and foremost you should go and see your doctor, book a double appointment and take a little time to tell him about what is happening.Ask him how to get your bg down because it is dangerously high and needs urgent assistance. It takes time after losing a loved one to come to terms with the huge loss and your world being turned upside down. You are in an extremely upset state right now and probably cannot think straight about anything. Take the help from your doctor - not a diabetic nurse or anyone else.

I would even ask if you can have some counselling. You need reassurance and someone to listen to you and help you back onto the right track. It is really hard but try to eat very sensibly, low carb, lots of proteins and vegetables. Do really easy meals, only simple ingredients quick to prepare. Your whole body and mind are in shock and in need of nurturing. Talk to your husband and tell him how you are really feeling, let him help. Take any help possible from family and friends when they offer. They must all be worried about you.

I wish you well.
 
Hi Izzy,

another point - no need to be ashamed at all. Here you are talking to a group that understands all you say.
 
Can't say anymore all the others have said it, stress is a huge influence and you have had it all. You need to take some time for spoiling yourself. Even if its just a walk, a bath with bubbles or daft as it sounds dancing in your own home. Anything to empty your mind even for a few moments, thoughts are with you.
 
Sorry to hear your condition.

Have you checked your ketones? Your blood could be very acidic if you're suffering from Ketoacidosis. With similar symptoms before I was diagnosed (bursting for a pee all day and night) I spent several days in hospital to flush them out.
 
Izzy - I have nothing to add to whats already been said, I am type 2 but I just wanted to say I am sorry for your bereavement and all the stress in your life. I wish you strength, and here is a big hug for you ((((((((((((Izzy)))))))))))
Thinking of you
Judith
x x
 
Hello Everyone and thank you all so much for replying to my thread.

I feel better reading your messages and knowing that not only am I not on my own but that there are other people who really understand what I am going through and the difficulties diabetes can sometimes unexpectedly cause.

I will definitely make an appointment to see my GP and see what help they can give me to alleviate the stress and I am also thinking about taking a couple of days away by the sea just to get some complete relaxation.

I will also keep an eye on my ketones and hopefully just talking about things, seeing the doctor and a break away may just help my sugars balance out.

Thank you all once again, this is such a wonderful site with such kind and compassionate people and I would truly be lost with out it.

Hugs to you all,

Izzy x
 
Hi Izzy

After all I said, I forgot the most important thing - A BIG HUG!

I am so glad you will have a break and time to think and rest. Please do see the doctor as a matter of urgency first.
 
Hi Izzy, what a desperately hard time you're having! I'm so sorry that you've had to go through all these things at once. Or at all.

Camilla has given you some really great advice. I think you should see the doctor too... And get counselling if you can (but that can take a while). I know first hand how hard it is to get any support with things these days. We've had a few issues around money, depression and bereavement(s) but help seems almost impossible to find sometimes - with all the agencies fighting cuts and overwhelmed by people who can't cope. The people on here will always listen though. *hug*

I'm lucky, because out of the blue (I wasn't a churchgoer, or religious) I decided to walk into my local Anglican Church and attend evening prayer. They didn't try to recruit me, they just welcomed me and let me attend services, without pressure. Now I'm a fully confirmed member of the congregation and poor Fr. Stephen (or his lady curate) gets to listen to all my woes and make me cups of tea. Sorry if I sound like some mental case Bible-basher but I just wanted to put it out there that Church might be a help. Even if you just want a chat.

Keep in touch and let us know how you are. My heart goes out to you. xx
 
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