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Feeling like a burden because of Type1 diabetes.

C

Catsymoo

Well-Known Member
Messages
301
Location
Portsmouth, United Kingdom
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
Having diabetes
I'm sure this is a feeling we all know too well. It's a thing we learn to live with, but not everyone fully understands the seriousness of your needs.

I had to call my boss today to arrange a later start time, my upstairs neighbours have a giant Pointer dog that howls/cries all day and I can hear it smashing things whenever they go out. It howls non stop until someone comes home, and it starts at 6AM. I work evening shifts now (thank god, no more 4AM starts), sometimes I don't get home until 5AM, and have to be up around 2PM to go to work again. I am barely sleeping because of the dog, and in turn, my BG spins out of control (usually high). My boss was annoyed at me, and I just get that ''for god sake'' kind of vibe. If I had gone in at my original start time of 12:30, I would've had to take a correction dose to not feel like death, and then I guarantee would've had a really bad hypo in the 2 hour car journey to work, or worse, when I started work and we have strict rules about breaks and food. Also if I am far from home and the shops are closed, the last thing I need is a massive hypo when I usually need a lot of sugar + one hour to completely recover. My hypos are really, really bad when I haven't slept. I usually start vomiting, feel horrible for hours and have to sleep afterwards. When I first started my new job, I let my supervisor of that day know that I needed to basal at 6PM and have something to eat, and he said to me, ''I really don't have time to hear about your problems, I need people who can work 6+ hours without stupid interruptions".

I am mostly okay and don't need adjustments other than carrying glucose tablets on me, testing if I have a long shift, and taking my basal. But the other day I was eating some glucose tabs at work and got yelled at in front of my entire team for eating on the job like I was some sort of glutton. It's so embarrassing but I don't want to have to go around letting EVERYBODY know about my condition. I work in an auditing company, so my team everyday is different people, and I work usually far from home in a different town every shift. My job is also very physical, and they expect people to work 12 - 16 hours with little to no breaks, and I feel like a pain in the butt and like I'm being given special treatment if I'm allowed a break which some colleagues might resent me for if they don't know my circumstances. I don't usually work the super long shifts, but after 6 hours of strenuous activity, my BG usually is hovering around 4 and I need food to keep going and avoid hypos.

Anyone have any tips for not feeling like I am a troublemaker and pain in the butt?
 
Speak to the neighbours regarding the dog. They may not realise the noise it's making. They may not be able to do anything without some form of behaviourist intervention.

If they are not amenable you may need to contact the Council to monitor the noise and then they may contact your neighbours depending on the results.

At work explain you have a disability and that they are required to make reasonable adjustments - possibly regarding breaks etc.

I'm sure there is plenty of good advice on its way
 
Under the equality act type 1 diabetes is a disability and your employer should be making reasonable adjustments to accommodate, like letting you test, inject, eat at work.

If your correction dose is guaranteed to send you hypo you might need to reassess your correction factor. Figure out much does 1 unit move your blood sugar, then give a correction to get you down to 6 or 7. Don't give more to "guarantee a hypo". Corrections can take a while to move blood sugar, because if you are starting high there's a lot of work for the bolus to do.
 
Catsymoo said:
Anyone have any tips for not feeling like I am a troublemaker and pain in the butt?
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Agree with @Ultramum , have a chat with the neighbour and if their not amicable make a complaint to the council or landlord.
 
Oh they know about the dog, it's an ongoing case. We complained last August and nothing has happened yet other than gathering evidence. I won't go into detail but basically they don't give a rat's ass. They are pointing the finger at us for complaining, saying the dog is causing problems in their marriage and they can't afford to train it. My BG was normal this morning, and it's now 17 due to how much stress that dog causes me. I kinda had a meltdown and ended up banging on their door and yelling. Ahaha.
 
Catsymoo said:
They are pointing the finger at us for complaining, saying the dog is causing problems in their marriage and they can't afford to train it.
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Well they should get rid of the dog, there's charities like the RSPCA who will take the dog off them and will train and re-home it.

I'm not sure what to suggest @Catsymoo, stress does play havoc with bg control and sleep deprivation is no fun at all.
 

then maybe you should think of moving to another place where there is peace an quiet ..I guess you already now wear ear-plugs and always carry some sweets in your pocket to help you avoid getting too low... so don´t know what more there is to suggest..
 
Not to go too off topic, but I've lived here 26 years and own this flat and they've been here for 1.5 years, I don't see why I should be the one to move when I'm barely making ends meet with shift work, when they are the ones causing the problem.
 
There's an old saying in Italy "A brigante, brigante e mezzo" used by President Sandro Pertini.
"To a brigand, a brigand and half".
If they're so unpolite and aren't collaborative ona has to be worse and be rude and not collaborative.
In other words make directly complaints with the council without have to deal with them.
Unfortunately it's a long route for solving problem, but with unreasonable people it's the only way.
I've had a similar problem with some neighbours, that were renting a house, with unruly dogs. The story continued for two years but at the end when they got an executive eviction (make the landord angry and try to cheat her doesn't end well normally)
 
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What a hellish nightmare!

Press on with the noise complaints.
The dog would be better forcibly re-homed than living in that toxic environment with daily doses of separation anxiety.

Regarding your job, I appreciate how tricky that is. And I know how strong the pressure can be to not cause further tension by complaining. Sounds like an out and out case of bullying, to me. And bullying in the work place is a very slippery fish.
Sorry, I have no suggestions because the fine detail of the situation and the individual personalities are what makes all the difference. But please, don't take the blame on yourself. Don't internalise it and think that you are at fault. I have seen enough of bullies to know that this is their goal. Misuse of power by manipulation and derogation.
 
Moving can be incredibly expensive and stressful, so not always a viable option. Assuming you're paying rent, can you check your contract for a noise disturbance clause? I know that in the Netherlands, you're legally entitled to live in 'enjoyable conditions' - aka unreasonable noise disturbances that exceed the normal standards for apartments are reason for eviction if neighbors complain about it. I'd double-check on whether or not this is the case for you as well. Take it up with the landlord, do everything in writing (emails preferred as they can't be erased on your end), record audio and ask other neighbors to do the same if they're experiencing problems with them. The more people team up to complain about one tenant, the more likely the offending tenant will be penalized or evicted. Hopefully they'll just shape up and deal with it before it comes to that.

You may also want to get animal protective services involved. It sounds like the dog is being neglected and not given what it needs, hence the non-stop episodes you're subjected to. Having the proper authorities checking in could potentially save the poor dog from suffering. Be sure to hand over audio files and the like to them as well, as proof.

As others have said, an employer is mandated by law to provide you the opportunity to treat your chronic illness as it's classified as a disability. Be sure to address this with your supervisor; failure to provide room for treatment is discrimination, illegal, and reduces your efficiency as an employee either way, so it's in their best interest to accommodate you if they want you at top performance. Also get this in writing. This is to cover your behind in case your employer thinks you're too much trouble for trying to have a suitable, legal work space. (In an ideal world, we wouldn't have to, but as someone who's been victim to an employer abusing my illness and firing me because nothing was in writing, I can't stress this enough - everything in writing, always!) I hope your employer will come to their senses and accommodate you. You have nothing to feel ashamed of, they should be ashamed for dismissing a serious condition!

Stress will throw around your values like crazy and while you can curb the extent of the damage, you really need to fix the problems at the roots. Both your neighbors and your employer are causing problems, and it's very important to get both sorted ASAP for your own health.

I spent almost 5 years in a hellhole with terrorizing neighbors and no money to move. I know exactly what you're going through, you're not alone in this experience. All I have to say is, please do everything by the book, get everything in writing, keep logs of what's going on and you should come out on top of it all. You deserve a stress free home and an employer who keeps your situation in mind!
 
I should probably change my profile, as I haven't lived in Holland since 2012, haha. I originally called animal services last year and they wouldn't do anything unless I could prove the dog wasn't being fed or watered. Therefore, it was out of their jurisdiction. I have an ongoing complaint with the housing officer since August 2016, but I got a call today saying my neighbours are ''looking into training'' and no action will be taken until they make a decision. Which is absolute BS to me, that 4 of us living under them have to suffer and it has to be handled ON THEIR TERMS? I just wonder how much longer I have to live with this. They seem to just give excuse after excuse without anything changing.

When it comes to work, I left my last job due to bullying. Unrelated to diabetes, just a group of bitchy women who decided to rumour monger about me because I'm different, and it got to a point where the lady who gave me a lift to work started to believe it and had a massive go at me over Christmas when I had no idea what she was talking about. I tried to take it further for defamation of character but they didn't care. I worked there 4 years and didn't even get a goodbye.. just a Facebook message from my manager telling me to bring in a sick note and how the ''bullying was outside of work''. I lost count of how many times those women sent me home in tears by talking about me behind my back. My sugars suffered so much over the holidays from the mental stress and I barely ate anything!

My new job is very cutthroat, but if you do well, you'll be fine. I just can't stand when people don't take diabetes seriously. I don't want to go off on a rant to all of them either, but I can see it in their eyes when I say I need to do XYZ. Like I'm that ''problem person''. I can handle this condition.. it's been 5 years since my diagnosis, but I really hate that people just don't get it. Which is why I find much solace moaning to you lot because you are my tribe and understand 100%, haha! (sorry!) My boyfriend is probably the only person closest to me that understands and supports me. He never questions things, unlike my mother who likes to compare me to other people with diabetes and how ''they don't have problems''. I think she forgets she isn't close to them so why would they tell her about it... plus, every single one of us is different. There is no one-size fits all for diabetes.
 
Catsymoo said:
Anyone have any tips for not feeling like I am a troublemaker and pain in the butt?
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You are not a burden or a troublemaker, and as much as I love animals, the dog sounds like a complete nightmare. You've obviously done the right thing by reporting it so I expect you've seen https://www.gov.uk/report-noise-pollution-to-council

Catsymoo said:
we have strict rules about breaks and food.
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So does the government - https://www.gov.uk/rest-breaks-work/overview

Forgive my french everyone, but I've worked for some @r$eh0le$ in my time but your lot take the biscuit. Are they born that way or do they have to go to a special training school. If they are to have managerial responsibility then they obviously need additional training in what that actually means. You obviously have needs as a human being and a little bit of consideration for a condition that you have. These are all tied up in government

regulations that they should be made aware of. Problem being how to do it without putting their egotistical noses out.

Catsymoo said:
''I really don't have time to hear about your problems, I need people who can work 6+ hours without stupid interruptions".
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That sort of BS is totally unacceptable. I wish I could suggest something sensible but knowing what regulations are in place will help. https://www.diabetes.org.uk/upload/How we help/Avocacy/Advocacy pack_EmploymentV3-Jan2016.pdf

Sorry I can't be more helpful. You got some right dingbats at your place of employment.
 
@Catsymoo, please think about going to you MP about the noise issue, try and find when local surgeries are held.
 
I ended up banging on my neighbours door this morning at 6:30am because of the dog. I had got in from work at 2-3AM, and by the time I made myself something to eat I got to sleep at 4, when I hadn't slept the previous day at all. They let the dog howl for 30 minutes when they were HOME. The woman came out and started getting really aggressive and shouting, calling me selfish and how dare I knock her door so early. I can't tell if these people are genuinely deluded or just in complete denial. Sure enough, sugars have been running high today and I had to work another 10 hour shift on about 2 hours sleep.

I know it was wrong to go up there, but I just lost it completely due to sleep deprivation. She then took to Facebook (a mutual friend tipped me off) and whined to all her friends how the dog has to go and it's all my fault and ''we broke her children's hearts''. She has an army of friends supporting her, of course. These people are ruining our lives. She also conveniently misses out about 75% of the story when she's attention seeking on social media, so she can get sympathy. I'm sure her friends would not appreciate living underneath a crying Pointer that every day, without fail, makes incessant noise that can be heard down the street. She also implied to her friends that none of us go to work like we are people who sit indoors all day listening to the dog.. when we ALL go to work! Hoping to hear from the council again soon.. either that or I'll end up being committed.
 
Catsymoo said:
She then took to Facebook
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As difficult as it must be, try not to think about what she says on social media. It really isn't important because the truth will become known and this person will look the complete selfish prat that they are.

Catsymoo said:
She has an army of friends supporting her, of course.
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What? Facebook friends, as you don't know them it doesn't make any difference what they think.

Have you got something to record the noise in your home for as long as the noise continues, nothing like empirical evidence. If people want to play silly buggers, you have to be one step ahead and ten times as crafty and avoid confrontation at all costs.

All the best, you've got your own supporters as well, so please try very hard not to let it get you down.
 
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It's possible that someone is using an ultrasonic mice repeller

Like this DIY one
http://www.rsp-italy.it/Electronics/Magazines/Nuova Elettronica/_contents/Nuova Elettronica 193.pdf
(warnig: PDF in Italian of an old electronics kit magazine)

or this one (on amazon) https://www.amazon.co.uk/d/Pet-Supplies/LUCIFER-Mouse-Repeller-Pitch/B007NWJIUG/

Because (with the home made one) I discovered the hard way that maybe these pest resellers could be effective to make the mice escape from an attic, but for sure they make dogs nearby howl and be disturbed.
 
MikeTurin said:
Because (with the home made one) I discovered the hard way that maybe these pest resellers could be effective to make the mice escape from an attic, but for sure they make dogs nearby howl and be disturbed.
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Fascinating, maybe going to the dog owner with that sort of info might pave the way for more discussions about what to do with noisy dog.

Just been reading a feedback letter from someone who said it affected their BT Hub as well. Fascinating!
 
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This is a valid point.
Certain sub audial frequencies can even effect humans.
One example is technicians working in abandoned/closed off areas of underground tube stations alone & sundenly getting the "creeps" feeling a "presence" & crying "ghost."
When actually sub sonic noises made by the moving trains pushing air pressure around is a more plausible explaination....

My own dog likes to sit in the back of the van and quietly whine along (in key.) to Chris Cornell when he comes on the stereo!
 

sweet dog... yes it should not be legal to use maschines that stress animals like that..
 
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