finding it so hard to control blood sugars and having major problems with eyes kidneys nerve damage.

I don't know if this sounds familiar....
There are lots in this boat, the BG makes no sense and they throw their hands up and give up. When they take their insulin they seem blow-up overnight and all that's seen is fat. So they don't take the insulin to lose weight and that makes them sick.

There is an anonymous care line, this is for youngens and there is also one for oldies on the site too
http://www.diabetes.org.uk/Guide-to-diabetes/Teens/Help-and-support/Problem-page/

For diabetics a good way to control weight and stabilise BG is by cutting carbs and do a tag total available glucose, bolus for the carb, protein and fat
http://www.dietdoctor.com/lchf

But carbs don't give up without a fight
http://lowcarbdiets.about.com/od/lowcarb101/a/firstweek.htm

For a refresher and to check the boxes, there is an online course and workbooks..a lass found out how to correct with the 100 rule and turned herself around
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/newly-diagnosed.60873/#post-583801

Hi
Don't think that you are on your own. Though your ED came first there are many people with diabetes (about 1 in 3 young women) that also suffer from an eating disorder, so it is something that your health care professionals should be very aware of. If you haven't spoken to them, please try to do so,
There is also a British support group/charity/facebook group that can provide some support .
http://www.dwed.org.uk/
Don't let it slide now you have spoken about it.

Great advice by Phoenix, you do need to discuss your eating disorder with your diabetes team and let them help you.

Not testing is never a good idea as you will never know how much insulin to take to bring your bg down, assuming your on a basal/bolus insulin regime you should enquire about a carb counting course such as DAFNE, your DSN will say if such courses run in your area and will hopefully put your name down for the next available course if they do, there they will teach you adjust your insulin so that it brings your bg levels down, it also covers other aspects of type 1 diabetes management and is very worthwhile course to take.

There's an on-line carb counting course which is similar to DAFNE, by all accounts it's very good and should get you started:

http://www.bdec-e-learning.com/

nickynoonoo said:

Sorry to go on just need somewhere to vent as no one in my life nos how bad it is.

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I can really identify with this statement, hope you get things sorted, you are definitely not alone on this forum. I'm a Type 2 so I can't really help with your diabetes, plenty of people here who can though.....

nickynoonoo said:

Thankyou all for ur advice.i will try to sort it out. I feel like i have a mental block tho and cant get past it it is so frustrating that it makes me suicidal at times.
I found a letter i had off the hospital from last june which says i have cka stage 3 or something but this hasnt been explained to me. I have sum numbness in fingers and toes. Why isnt this enough to sort myself out. Im an intelligent woman with a professional career in the health care sector and to the outside world im very together and able to deal with other peoples issues i just wish i cud deal with my own.
Sorry to go on just need somewhere to vent as no one in my life nos how bad it is.

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There are 5 stages to Chronic Kidney Disease, and you are in stage 3, so hopefully if you can get things under better control it won't deteriorate any further, as stage 5 is end kidney disease needing dialysis or transplant as far as I'm aware. Even with stage 3 there's 2 levels , eg 3a and 3b. I'm at the better stage 3a so I don't leak much protein, you may or may not be at stage 3b where you are showing protein. It would be a real shame and more than a serious inconvenience to your life and family if it gets to the stage of you needing dialysis.

There's also a correlating incidence of retinopathy development which can go hand in hand with deteriorating kidney function, possibly because of the high sugar levels affecting the eye tissue at the same rate as the kidneys. In addition it seems to be accepted that most people with end stage kidney disease will lose their life due to cardiac problems from the high blood pressure associated with kidney disease. So sorry to say all this at a time when you're struggling but it's really important that you know you're storing up big problems for yourself if you continue in this fashion. Because there will be no going back once it's happened.

With you saying people at work thinking you're very on the ball and on top of things, is it possible the problem stems lies with the lack of control on your life you feel being diabetic is causing you as an additional burden? Sometimes it is the people who appear on the outside to be the strongest and in charge of their life who have the most difficulty in seeking or asking for help when they need it. I really hope you can take some of the advice from the links others have given you on how to improve things or get help and make a start on turning things round while there is still time. And wish you all the best. The longest journey begins with the first step.

nickynoonoo said:

Thankyou all for ur advice.i will try to sort it out. I feel like i have a mental block tho and cant get past it it is so frustrating that it makes me suicidal at times.
I found a letter i had off the hospital from last june which says i have cka stage 3 or something but this hasnt been explained to me. I have sum numbness in fingers and toes. Why isnt this enough to sort myself out. Im an intelligent woman with a professional career in the health care sector and to the outside world im very together and able to deal with other peoples issues i just wish i cud deal with my own.
Sorry to go on just need somewhere to vent as no one in my life nos how bad it is.

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It's good to vent, just getting it out in the open helps.
It's no fun having a mental block, where it's even hard to look at, let alone doing something about it. You've taken a big step by joining the forum and sharing it with us.

I don't know if you saw this thread running at the moment, perhaps you might even like to say Hi
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/appointment-tomorrow-anxious-to-share-truth-help.63843/